It would be funny, if it weren’t so sad…

Shelly went to Tallahassee yesterday; she’s spending the weekend with her other boyfriend and his wife. So I’ve been spending the last two days straight playing World of Warcraft nonstop. Shelly gave me a call this afternoon to say hi, and laughed when I told her what I’d been doing.

Her: You need a local girlfriend. One you have a lot of sex with. While I watch.
Me: Okay, you’re on.
Her: We need to have rules, though. We need to tell her that she can sodomize you with a strap-on, but no oral sex.
Me: No oral sex? But I like oral sex!
Her: Yeah, but…um, no oral sex because…um, because your cock belongs to me. Or something.
Me: Hey, I’ve got an idea. Write down every sex act you can think of on a sheet of paper. Then go through the list and roll a six-sided die for each one. If you roll a 1 or a 2, she’s forbidden to do it; otherwise, she can.
Her: Hey! We should do that every day.
Me: So the rules change every day and she never feels secure?
Her: Yes! In fact, I think I’ll write up a 48-page contract, and you can tell any new girlfriend she has to sign it before she’s allowed to date you.

Then it occurred to me that several people on one of the poly mailing lists I subscribe to are essentially doing just that, and they can’t figure out why they can’t seem to find any new partners.


Richard Dawkins is my hero

Courtesy of datan0de, Richard Dawkins argues against the existence of an involved and personal God, and argues strongly in favor of the value of truth.

I love, love, love this man. “Nothing wrong with being happy, but some of us feel that being truthful…is better than living a lie… If you believe that God told you to invade Iraq…having that kind of unshakable conviction can be very dangerous in a politician.”

The interview concerns the book The God Delusion, which is now on my Amazon wish list.

The times, they are a-changin’

After three years of breathless waiting, with venture capital funding for the company I’m a minority partner in always just around the corner but never quite in reach, things have finally happened–and when they did, they did with breakneck speed.

I’m in Gainesville, Florida, as I type this. Last week, the company finally secured funding. On Friday, I quit my job. Saturday and Sunday I spent with smoocherie and her partner Fritz, then Monday I started packing. Yesterday, I rented a van and hauled about half my stuff from Tampa to Gainesville, where I will be living with Shelly for the next few weeks while the company gets its facility in Atlanta prepared and I look for an apartment there. During this time, I’ll be working remotely full-time for the company. The cats are up here, and believe me, they didn’t appreciate the trip one little bit. Molly cried for an hour and a half.

On or about the 10th of next month, the facility will be ready and I’ll be moving to Atlanta.

Things I learned last night while packing the rental van:

– There is no graceful way for one person to move a king-sized mattress. None. Anyone who tells you he’s found an easy way to do it is lying.

– We own more sex toys than I thought. A lot more.

– You can’t fit four computers on one standard-sized desk, even with a KVM switch. Especially if one of them (the G4 Cube) has a proprietary monitor.

– The two-hour drive from Tampa to Gainesville is a study in tedium. It’s more interesting, though, if you’re driving a big, clumsy, underpowered Chevy van that handles like a cow; it’s more interesting still in the driving rain. In that ‘may you live in interesting times’ kinda way.

– General Motors can not design a vehicle that’s worth a goddamn to save its bloated corporate ass. Why would anyone voluntarily buy, own, or drive a GM vehicle?

– A small cat who’s unhappy can make more noise than any sane man would expect. It’s rather amazing, really.

– We also own more bedding than I thought. And a lot of it is still in Tampa.

– Everything is more difficult than you think it is and takes longer than you think it will, even if you keep this rule in mind.

On the good side, once in Atlanta I’ll be making nearly three times what I was making, plus commission and bonuses, plus stock. On the bad side, it all happened so fast I didn’t even have time to tell many of my Tampa friends I was leaving.

This is what happens when I’ve nothing better to do.

Okay, scratch that, it’s a lie. I have many better things to be doing–spinning poi, working on the upcoming release of Onyx 3, playing World of Warcraft, but…

You know those Every Time you Masturbate, God Kills a Kitten images floating around the ‘Net? I think they send the wrong message, don’t you? I mean, I like kittens as much as the next guy…hell, I probably like kittens more than the next guy. But give up masturbation? I don’t think so.

So I’ve decided to counter the propaganda with…well, with counter-propaganda. I just created an answer which I hope sends a better message, and encourages right-thinking men and women to take an orgasm for the team.

Every time you masturbate, God kills a Cylon

Please, think of the humans!

More pictures of Sunland

As promised, more pics of Sunland, the abandoned asylum in Tallahassee. Cross-posted to urban_decay.

In the early 50s, it was believed that sunlight and fresh air could cure tuberculosis, so many TB wards were built with large, open sunrooms. Each of Sunland’s two wings ended with a series of these sunrooms. This same design was used in TB hospitals all throughout Florida.

One of the first shots I took. We arrived when the sky was still light. The building consists of two wings which are virtually identical, with an extension coming out at right angles where the two wings meet. The overall building is huge, but very narrow.

Many more bandwidth-crushing images under here

Fun at Sunland

So. Back from Dragon*Con and back into the work week; I haven’t had time to post ’bout the con, and this is not that post. Perhaps later.

Instead, this is a post about Sunland.

Sunland Asylum, Tallahassee

Sunland is a ruined insane asylum for children, located in Tallahassee not too far from where Shelly’s sweetie lives. It started out in the mid-1950s as a tuberculosis ward, and was repurposed when a vaccine for TB was developed. It spent the rest of its existence as an asylum, primarily for children, until it was abandoned a couple decades ago. It’s sat there ever since, slowly crumbling away. There’s a badly-written Wikipedia entry about the place, in fact.

When we drove back from Dragon, we stopped for an impromptu photo shoot at Sunland. We arrived as the sun was setting, and as a result couldn’t enter the buiilding–poor light, treacherous footing, and tons of broken glass (literally–every window in the building has been shattered, and there are thousands of pounds of glass strewn everywhere) made entry too dangerous. But we got some great shots nonetheless, which I’ll likely be posting over the next few days.

Dragon*Con Ho!

So I’m in Gainesville to pick up Shelly, and off we go to Dragon*Con in Atlanta. I packed very hastily this morning, and I’m generally lousy at packing for any kind of overnight stay–I always find I forget something. Still, this time I think I got everything. I packed:

– Underwear
– An iPod and an iPod Shuffle, both stuffed with industrial music
– 2,500 feet of green saran wrap
– Knee-high black vinyl boots with metal studs all over them
– Bondage tape
– Rope
– My laptop, with wireless network card
– Two digital cameras and a Webcam
– Gas mask
– Trenchcoat with Biohazard logo on the back
– Cell phone charger
– Floggers

However, I can’t help shake the feeling I’ve forgotten something.