Okay, scratch that, it’s a lie. I have many better things to be doing–spinning poi, working on the upcoming release of Onyx 3, playing World of Warcraft, but…
You know those Every Time you Masturbate, God Kills a Kitten images floating around the ‘Net? I think they send the wrong message, don’t you? I mean, I like kittens as much as the next guy…hell, I probably like kittens more than the next guy. But give up masturbation? I don’t think so.
So I’ve decided to counter the propaganda with…well, with counter-propaganda. I just created an answer which I hope sends a better message, and encourages right-thinking men and women to take an orgasm for the team.
Please, think of the humans!
Saved!
I love it I love it I love it!
Saved!
I love it I love it I love it!
i love killing Cylons
i love killing Cylons
Shouldn’t that be the ‘Gods kill a Cylon’? Ya know, to be accurate to the mythology? 😀
Remember, the Cylons worship only one god. However, were a Cylon to masturbate. . . .
Hmm.. but would it be the gods of the humans that kill the cylon, or the god of the cylons that kill a cylon when a human mastubates? 🙂
I figure the gods responsible for the creation are responsible for the destruction. Divine division of labor.
Shouldn’t that be the ‘Gods kill a Cylon’? Ya know, to be accurate to the mythology? 😀
Remember, the Cylons worship only one god. However, were a Cylon to masturbate. . . .
Hmm.. but would it be the gods of the humans that kill the cylon, or the god of the cylons that kill a cylon when a human mastubates? 🙂
I figure the gods responsible for the creation are responsible for the destruction. Divine division of labor.
Mind if I x-post this to my LJ, with a credit?
By all means! 🙂
Thanks! Officially stolen!
Mind if I x-post this to my LJ, with a credit?
very nice Franklin…
I like this one…
I never liked the kittens one either…
very nice Franklin…
I like this one…
I never liked the kittens one either…
By all means! 🙂
Thanks! Officially stolen!
The real funny thing is, when you posted this yesterday (actually about 3-4 hours after you posted this yesterday), I was singing the following song (to the tune of “Funiculi, Funicula”):
Last Night I Stayed at Home
Last night, I stayed at home and mastubated
It felt so good, I knew it would
Last night, I stayed at home and mastubated
It felt so nice, I did it twice
You should have seen me on the short stroke
It felt so grand, I used my hand
You should have seen me on the long stroke
It felt so neat, I used my feet
Smash it, bash it, slam it on the floor
Wrap it wround the bed post, cram it in the door
Now there are some who say
That sexual intercourse is great
But for maximum satisfaction
I prefer to masturbate
The real funny thing is, when you posted this yesterday (actually about 3-4 hours after you posted this yesterday), I was singing the following song (to the tune of “Funiculi, Funicula”):
Last Night I Stayed at Home
Last night, I stayed at home and mastubated
It felt so good, I knew it would
Last night, I stayed at home and mastubated
It felt so nice, I did it twice
You should have seen me on the short stroke
It felt so grand, I used my hand
You should have seen me on the long stroke
It felt so neat, I used my feet
Smash it, bash it, slam it on the floor
Wrap it wround the bed post, cram it in the door
Now there are some who say
That sexual intercourse is great
But for maximum satisfaction
I prefer to masturbate
I have a problem with this.
Since you are a known Cylon sympathizer your motivations are suspect. Since it’s also common knowledge that you like cats the only logical conclusion is that God doesn’t kill a Cylon every time you masturbate. The question then becomes “who is God killing, and why is helping to speed the process?” The idea of Franklin being in collusion with God boggles the mind.
Unless… you take into account Franklin’s twisted and perverse version of transhumanism, wherein any sentient machine is a god, or at least a demigod prototype, and humans need to just step the hell aside and make way for their new masters! Aha! Now his motivations become clear! Franklin wants us all to masturbate as an alternative to making more humans! He’s actually *helping* the Cylons, under the guise of eliminating puritanical sexual taboos.
This really should be cross-posted to. 😉
You’re missing the obvious. Clearly Franklin has concluded that every time you masturbate god kills a villager.
Every time *I* masturbate? Impossible. Unless the “village” in question is China there’d simply be no one left by now.
I was thinking more in werewolf terms than actual population centers.
I did hear that population is falling in India, maybe it’s your fault?
I have a problem with this.
Since you are a known Cylon sympathizer your motivations are suspect. Since it’s also common knowledge that you like cats the only logical conclusion is that God doesn’t kill a Cylon every time you masturbate. The question then becomes “who is God killing, and why is helping to speed the process?” The idea of Franklin being in collusion with God boggles the mind.
Unless… you take into account Franklin’s twisted and perverse version of transhumanism, wherein any sentient machine is a god, or at least a demigod prototype, and humans need to just step the hell aside and make way for their new masters! Aha! Now his motivations become clear! Franklin wants us all to masturbate as an alternative to making more humans! He’s actually *helping* the Cylons, under the guise of eliminating puritanical sexual taboos.
This really should be cross-posted to. 😉
You’re missing the obvious. Clearly Franklin has concluded that every time you masturbate god kills a villager.
Every time *I* masturbate? Impossible. Unless the “village” in question is China there’d simply be no one left by now.
I was thinking more in werewolf terms than actual population centers.
I did hear that population is falling in India, maybe it’s your fault?