I hate spam.

I don’t mean i dislike spam; I mean I hate spam.

So much, in fact, that I will go to great length to track these bastards down. Exhibit A, from a piece of spam I received last night:

The Spamvertised Web site


de-obfuscates to

http://penispill.redir.net (responsible party: ev1.com)

and redirects to


which de-obfuscates to


which in turn redirects via “encrypted” HTML to


which de-obfuscates to

http://dick.playuh.com/dasddkjcz87897das98dnklnklen2h3jhkljaskhdjg12fhj.php (responsible party: sprint.net)

which redirects to


The Spamvertised Web site responsible party:
Leading Edge Marketing (support@leminfo.com)
2414 4th Avenue
Greeley, CO 80631

The spamvertised Web site DNS services provided by Hurricane Electric (“he.net”)

The spamvertised Web site credit card processing provided by

Merchant ID: 305030


This Web site is being advertised by unsolicited commercial email. This spam is originating from America Online accounts, because mail from one America Online address to another has no headers, and the spammer believes nobody will take action against him if his email has no headers.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Forwarded Message:

Subj: Enlarge your penis with a PILL!!! *guaranteed*
Date: Wednesday, June 26, 2002 3:15:31 AM
From: Yeaaaaah
cc: TacitR, Anarchy For Eva, GuitarTBM, Jerizan, Laval1975, Oh so perceptive, SurfMan107, XXsUgANSpIzEXx, AMPUNK4U


Another Monday afternoon…

On my way to work today, I noticed my fuel gauge was a bit low…and when I say “a bit low,” I mean “below empty.” So I pulled into a gas station and put 9.912 gallons of gas into a 10-gallon tank. I have got to get gas more often.

Friday lordfuckbeast and I saw “Minority Report.” Steven Spielberg finally got it right. He fucked up his first effort at doing cyberpunk (“AI”) beyond all recognition, but everything he got wrong in AI, he got right this time. I particularly liked the targeted advertising in the movie. And you thought popup ads were annoying…

Still trying to get a handle on making a long-distance poly relationship with a monogamous partner working. Evidence so far suggests i suck at long-distance relationships. Thank God everyone involved, including my wife kellyv, has been so patient with me…

Now I’m in the office trying to put together a Flash animation for a client. Is it my imagination, or deos macromedia Flash have the worst user interface ever conceived since Ventura Publisher?

Stuff goin’ on…

So, the guy who smacked into me at a red light and then foolishly tried to run pleaded guilty to all counts against him. I still can’t figure out what his deal was; guess he didn’t know those funny numbers on that metal deal on the back of his car could actually be used to find him…

His insurance company gave me a rental while my car is in the shop.

A Geo Metro. 3-cylinder engine, zero to sixty in about seventeen hours. I feel like I’m going to break the damn thing every time I open the door. Merging into freeway traffic is nothing short of harrowing. The car is clumsy, desperately underpowered, and slow. “Handling” is more or less theoretical; by “handling,” the designers mean “It goes in the general direction it’s pointed and won’t usually slide off the road without provocation.” I want my del Sol back!

Been a productive week other than that, though. The final plastics for the Symphony, the Internet-operated sex toy lordfuckbeast and I are working on, are done. Here’s what the final unit looks like:

Pretty, isn’t it?

I’m also making progress on the radio-control plane kellyv got me for my birthday. The easy work is about done; still a lot of hard work left to do, though.

By way of scale, it’s five feet wingtip to wingtip. I can hardly wait to get it finished and learn to fly it…

Six years married, almost sixteen years together

Yesterday was kellyv and my anniversary. Six years married, and I’d marry her all over again.

L. sent us the most gorgeous anniversary cake I’ve ever seen. She’s so amazing, and I feel very, very lucky to have them both in my life. In many ways, L. has enriched both of our lives, and she’s even been a catalyst to make Kelly and I reexamine some of the terms of our relationship. I love them both very much.

Say that again?

Like most people these days, I am constantly barraged with spam, the curse of the Internet. I usually spend about an hour a day tracking down the people who send me spam, and having their Web sites shut down. I can follow the spammers through blind redirectors, through “encrypted” Web sites that try to conceal their contents with lame systems like HTMLcrypt, and in some cases I have even tracked down the credit card processing companies and merchant banks of some of the more obnoxious spammers and had their merchant accounts suspended.

So, I read a lot of spam.

Last night, a priceless gem of an email landed in my mailbox promoting an “All Anal Hardcore Site!!!!!!!!!”. The most priceless thing about this particular spam was that it was written by someone obviously unfamiliar with the English language. To wit:

“One of them spoke- “…if you don’t ending, fuck me to anus. It’s my tightest hole…” Her advice is good! I got birth the glass of sperm after reading. And what you will do?”

That’s taken verbatim from the text. All your anus are belong to us? I know that if I don’t ending, I’ve always been fond of giving birth the glass of Mountain Dew, but to each his own…

The good and the weird

Got a call from the police detective assigned to my hit-and-run case today. They tracked the guy down, and are going to prosecute him; AND his insurance will pay for all the damage to my car, no quibbles.


Yesterday, driving back from a client’s, I passed an Italian restaurant with a sign out front reading “SPAGHETTI GOD HAS BLESSED AMERICA”. I’ve been trying to puzzle out its meaning ever since.

Are they saying that America has been blessed with spaghetti? (“And God said “Let there be spaghetti…”) Or is the message a declaration that the Spaghetti God has bestowed his blessing on America? And if it’s the latter, what does the Linguini God have to say on the subject? How does one receive the blessing of the Spaghetti God, anyway? No, wait, skip that, I don’t want to know.

And if there really is a Spaghetti God, does that mean his Adversary is…antipasta?

So much time, and so little to do!

No, wait, scratch that, reverse it.

Busy busy busy busy couple of weeks, with nary a bit of wiggle room to breathe.

The good:

Two-day PolyCentral party last weekend. All the way across the state, but it was worth the drive. Fifty or so poly folk, three cheesecakes that were to die for (my favorite: banana cheesecake…mmm!), and the beach.

Photo shoots.

My plane is coming! My plane is coming! They finally shipped my radio-controlled plane, two months on back order. Should be here tomorrow.

Emperor of Dune, real-time strategy from the people who wrote Command & Conquer and Red Alert 2.

The bad:

Some motherfucker who rear-ended me and then ran. Got his license tag, though. Reported him to the cops, too. Minor damage to the car, if he would’ve stuck around I probably wouldn’t have even reported it. but no, he had to be an asshole, so now he’s got legal trouble. Dick.

Photo shoots? Still haven’t had time to contact the negs, much less start printing yet. I’m SERIOUSLY overdue for some darkroom work. *sigh*

The good (again):

Spending lots of time with kellyv and playing with L.–we’ve got a good start on figuring out how to make a long-distance relationship work. (Webcams! Yay!)

Successfully solved all my father’s various and sundry computer problems–added RAM and a CD recorder, fixed his Webcam (corrupt firmware), solved his boot problem (he had almost 30 programs(!) loading at startup…), and only killed a day doing it.

Saw a truck with a painted slogan on the back: “Kill All terrorists now!” Some people are so dumb…

It’s late. I’m tired. More later.