I rarely remember my dreams. So rarely, in fact, that it’s always a surprise when I do.

So imagine my surprise when I had not one but two dreams last night, both of which I remember quite clearly.

In the first, demi moved to Florida and hosted a large party, to which I and several friends (including scarlete, lordfuckbeast, and feorlen) were invited. The most memorable thing about this party was the large and patient, but quite frustrated, spider that kept spinning a web across the doorway. People would come in, the web would be destroyed, and the spider would construct another across a different doorway.

In the second dream, the Mafia was trying for some reason to assassinate me. So I took a pair of horns, stuck them on my head, and phoned the Mob boss on his cell phone, saying “It’s open season on Yak Boy–come and get me!” Then I ran around town, teasing the Mafia hitmen and making fun of them–I’d dress up like an electrician, for example, and stand on a ladder pretending to fix a sign while they ran by beneath me, then call the boss on his cell phone and tease him some more–“Your guys just walked right past me, and I’m wearing horns, and they still didn’t see me! How dumb is that?”

I have no idea what either of these dreams means, though I welcome all attempts at analysis. 🙂