How I wake up

Uncompressing kernel……done.
Loading kernel………………………

FRANKLIN version 8.4(1) loaded. Good morning!

Loading sex drive framework….done.
Current arousal level is 8 (0-9)

Loading soundtrack…done.
Current music playing inside your head is:
VNV Nation, Standing

Loading device drivers………….. *FAILED*
Loading device drivers………….. *FAILED*
Loading device drivers………….. *FAILED*
Throttling respawn
Loading device drivers………….. *FAILED*
Loading device drivers………….. *FAILED*
Loading device drivers………….. *FAILED*
Loading device drivers………….. *FAILED*
Note: Last message repeated 47 times

Loading device drivers…………..done.
Probing devices:
Found 2 arm(s)
Found 2 leg(s)
Found 1 head(s)
*** WARNING: Head hurts, skipping further integrity checks
Found 1 sex organ(s)
Note: Current arousal level changed to 9 (0-9)

Loading speech centers… *FAILED*
Will retry in background

Registered new device: hands
Registered new device: feet
Registered new device: nose
*** WARNING: nose hurts, loading diagnostic
Registered new device: eyes
Initializing visual centers…… *FAILED*
Initializing visual centers…… *FAILED*
Initializing visual centers…… *FAILED*
Note: Last message repeated 16 times
Initializing visual centers…… done, loading object recognition framework
*** WARNING: nose hurts, loading diagnostic
*** WARNING: nose hurts, loading diagnostic

Initializing to-do list… done
Note: “Go pee” moved to top of to-do list
Note: “Go pee” urgency changed to 7 (0-9)
Loading speech centers… *FAILED*
Will retry in background

Current runlevel is now 1
*** WARNING: nose hurts, loading diagnostic
*** WARNING: nose hurts, loading diagnostic
Initializing object recognition framework…………..done.
Identified 1 object(s): pillow
Identified 1 object(s): pillow
Identified 1 object(s): pillow
Identified 1 object(s): pillow
Identified 1 object(s): cat
Identified 1 object(s): blanket
*** WARNING: cat is biting nose
*** WARNING: cat is biting nose
Note: Last message repeated 15 times
Note: “Go pee” urgency changed to 8 (0-9)
Loading speech centers… *FAILED*
Will retry in background

Current runlevel is now 2
*** WARNING: nose hurts, loading diagnostic
*** WARNING: cat is biting nose
Loading motor control…….done.
Note: “Move cat” moved to top of to-do list
Note: “Move cat” urgency changed to 9 (0-9)
Loading speech centers…done
Note: “Go pee” urgency changed to 9 (0-9)
Note: Added “Find food” to to-do list
Note: “Find food” urgency changed to 8 (0-9)
FRANKLIN version 8.4(1) running on device 0 runlevel 2
Good morning, Franklin! Time to face the day!

Score one more for the good guys!

According to this article on CNet News, the Federal Trade Commission has just shut down an ISP called Pricewert, which had sought to act as a one-stop shopping center for spammers, child porn, botnet operators, and virus and malware distributors.

Pricewert operated as a Web host under a bunch of different names–3FN.net, Triple Fiber, APS Communications, and a bunch of others.

I first became aware of 3FN back in February of 2008, when I started seeing spam for all kinds of porn sites hosted on their IP space. The spam I saw generally involved URLs hosted on 3FN that redirected to the affiliate sites of large pay-for-access porn sites–a common spam tactic I’ve seen before, especially from big-name offenders like Streamate.com.

Pricewert/3FN’s business extended well beyond spam, though, and into hosting for botnet command and control servers, virus droppers, malware distribution, and even kiddie porn. In other words, about business as usual for an ISP in a place like the Ukraine or Latvia, but somewhat surprising for an ISP in the US. (Somewhat surprising, at least, until you consider that the founder of Pricewert/3FN was from the Ukraine, where the business culture is such that hosting malware, child porn, and botnet control servers is part of any ISP’s normal revenue stream.)

And here’s the part where I get all Ranty McRanterson.

What’s really, really, really disappointing to me is how poor the US ISPs and backbone providers are at policing themselves, and how even egregiously illegal activity is tolerated by the vast majority of Internet service providers.

3FN’s upstream providers knew that 3FN was a rogue ISP hosting criminals involved in spam, viruses, and malware. I know for a fact that they knew this, because I told them myself, with detailed evidence. In February of 2008. And in March of 2008 (four times). And in June of 2008. And in July of 2008. And in…well, you get the idea.

There is, in the world of ISPs and Internet connectivity, a tacit understanding that any sort of illegal activity, including identity theft, malware, fraud, and computer virus distribution, will be tolerated so long as it doesn’t create too big an uproar and so long as ISPs occasionally move the offenders around from one IP address to another. Even child pornography is not going to create a problem so long as the hosting ISP removes or moves the child porn if they receive complaints.

ISP abuse employees do not generate revenue for an Internet company. In fact, they cost a company revenue. For that reason, ISPs will often hobble their own abuse teams (I sent seven complaints to one ISP about a hacked server on their network over a period of two months, only to be told that the abuse people were not permitted to take down the server until eight weeks after they had notified the owner to fix the problem–which is about like calling the fire department because your neighbor’s house is on fire and the flames are spreading to your house, only to be told that the fire department would mail a notice to your neighbors, and would send the trucks out in eight weeks if the neighbors hadn’t taken care of the problem themselves by then).

ISPs make money by selling hosting and bandwidth to people. Every site they take down is lost revenue; every downstream service provider they cut off is a lot of lost revenue. They’re not going to lose that revenue unless they’re forced to.

Case in point: The rogue hosting provider McColo, which was notorious for hosting child porn, computer viruses (they were a preferred host for the Russian Zlob gang and for the Asprox virus gang), and credit card identity theft rings (Fraudcrew hosted sites on McColo), yet remained merrily in business, with no problems from their upstream providers, for four years in spite of the fact that it was widely known and publicized that McColo catered exclusively to criminal clientele.

And, sadly, that’s the norm, not the exception. Upstream and backbone providers will cheerfully provide connectivity to known-rogue ISPs even though the rogue ISPs violate not only the law but also the upstream providers’ Terms of Service. Global Crossing, a mainstream, respectable business, knew that McColo was hosting computer viruses and child porn; they simply didn’t care. The money of organized crime spends just as well as the money of honest businesses, and often there’s more of it.

In the ISP world, often government intervention is the only way to shut down these operators. History has proven, conclusively, beyond all shadow of doubt, that ISPs and connectivity providers absolutely, positively can not be counted on to police themselves; left to their own devices, they will permit just about anything to happen on their networks. The ongoing corrupt business practices of US ISP Calpop, for example, is ample proof of that.

It pisses me off to no end to see an entire industry that has, for all intents and purposes, quietly agreed to permit organized crime, identity theft, and child pornography on their networks as long as there’s not too much of a fuss about it, and to take action only against the one or two most extreme offenders after many years of operation. While I do not normally see government intervention as a good way to solve business problems, in this case I do not believe the ISPs will ever police themselves effectively, or even want to; there’s too much money in allowing this sort of network abuse. Given how widespread the problem is, I do not think there is any solution other than tighter regulation of criminal activity on the backs of ISPs’ networks.

Dreaming of Transhumanism Remixes

Last night, I had a very long, incredibly detailed, and incredibly high resolution dream about Battlestar: Galactica.

Well, kinda sorta.

This isn’t actually a post about BSG, though the show is definitely a springboard for it. I liked the show a great deal, but in truth didn’t much care for the take-away lesson from the last episode, which cut for spoilers, which you don’t really need to read to get the rest of this post

Tracking the Unicorn

Anyone who’s been around in the poly community has met, on at least 724 occasions, a married couple looking for a hot bisexual woman to come be their “third.”

In the interests of presenting a public service, I’ve prepared this handy guide to unicorn hunting–a flowchart for people looking for that hot bi babe. You can all thank me later.

This actually popped into my head while I was in the shower this morning, and refused to quit bugging me ’til I did something about it. Clicky on the picture to embiggen.

Link o’ the Day: Trans-simianism

With a tip of the (virtual) hat to figmentj:

Enough is Enough: A Thinking Ape’s Critique of Trans-Simianism

Klomp predicts that through a technology called ‘hygiene’ we could extend the simian lifespan well into the late 20s or possibly 30s. What exactly will the post-simian do with all that time? Do we really want to live in a society populated by geriatric 27- year- olds? In living so long and spending so much time ‘thinking,’ do we not also run the risk of becoming a cold, passionless race incapable of experiencing our two emotions (fear and not fear)? How much of our simianity are we willing to sacrifice for this notion of progress?

Rest assured that while Klomp may have accrued a recent following, there is no reality to his fantastic claims. What is concerning is the increasing number of young apes spending less time clubbing animals and more time ‘inventing,’ ‘thinking’ and ‘creating,’ none of which contribute to the preservation of the simian way of life. These sorts of fads come and go, however, and this author is confident that in a short while everyone will have forgotten about Klomp and the notion of being anything more than an ape.”

iPhone picture of the moon

Last time zaiah was in town, she bought me a cheap telescope from Walgreens. Atlanta being what it is (which is to say, hazy and overcast and generally hostile to Science), tonight is the first opportunity I’ve had to play with it.

Got this picture by holding my iPhone up to the eyepiece. Yeah, it’s a crap photo, but dude, it came from my iPhone.

Woohoo! Found my old kite aerial photography pics!

In the archive of images I found that I thought I’d lost forever, I discovered the scans of my first and only foray into kite aerial photography.

This was done before I had a digital camera, so I bought a cheap film camera, taped it to the center of a large kite, and rigged up a servo and radio from a model RC airplane to it. The whole shebang was appallingly primitive, but I still got some pretty neat shots of Ft. Desoto in Florida from it.

You can see the newly restored post on the experiment here.

I also found some pics of the rig itself, which will show you how truly awful it was (dedicated kite photographers use much more sophisticated setups):

You knew it was coming: Watchmen

I have always had a very…special relationship with the Watchmen story.

I was first introduced to the story by Tracey Summerall, a woman who at the time was attending college in Sarasota, Florida. She also introduced me to the Terry Gilliam movie Brazil, among other cult classics, so as you might imagine this had a significant effect on my grasp of pop culture. (In fact, she had a map of the world up on the wall with the Watchmen comics carefully pinned against it, one issue directly over the country of Brazil, a juxtaposition that was not accidental.)


Tracey was my first crush, a fact which eventually led to the demise of our friendship. At that point, I was still young enough I hadn’t yet learned some of the most basic and obvious but nevertheless still not easy tools of interpersonal relationships, among them “more communication is better than less communication,” “if you don’t ask for what you want you can not reasonably expect to have what you want,” and “other people are not responsible for your unvoiced expectations.” In fact, my friendship with her was in many ways instrumental to my learning these things, and she is among the ten or so people who have most influenced the person I later became, though she never knew that, and those lessons came too late to save our friendship. (Funny how that can happen. As it turns out, I learned more than a decade later that she went into exactly the same line of work I went into–when she won a prominent design award in the industry. But I digress.)

Anyway, she introduced me to Watchmen, which at the time I thought was the most brilliant and amazing thing I’d ever seen. It wasn’t finished yet; only six of the twelve episodes that made up the full story had been published, and the rest were delayed by nearly two years.

At the time, I lived in Ft. Myers, an hour and a half drive from Sarasota, and the only place in southwest Florida that carried Watchmen was in Sarasota. And they refused to say over the phone whether or not the next issues were available yet. So I’d get in my car each month and make the drive, and as often as not the next part was delayed by something or other and wouldn’t be there. It took, all in all, about a year and change for me to be able to read the whole story.

I still have the first edition, first printing comic book version of Watchmen. Not exactly in pristine shape, but that’s not really the point; I’m neither a collector nor a fan of comic books (and to this day Watchmen is one of only three graphic novels I’ve ever read).

So it’s fair to say that I went into the movie with some high expectations. Watchmen is rooted in a significant part of my personal history, and I have some attachments to it that no movie could reasonably ever be expected to live up to.


I’ve seen the movie twice now. The first time, I went to see it by myself; I gathered up all of my expectations and hopes and bittersweet memories and dragged them all down to the theater with me to see if what was up on the screen could do justice to my past.

When I got home, I posted on Twitter, “Back from Watchmen. Haven’t read it in years. I’d forgotten how brutal it was. Movie is good, but not brilliant.” and went to bed.

Before I went to see it, I didn’t read any of the critical reviews or commentary about the movie, and that was deliberate. Since then, of course, I’ve read a lot of reviews and endless commentary about the movie; Watchmen is, if nothing else, the most talked-about film to come along in a long time.

Some of that commentary makes sense, even if I don’t happen to agree with it. Some of it makes me shake my head and say “What?”

There’s a lot of that going around. To be fair, the movie studio didn’t really seem to have a grasp of what they were dealing with; according to several “behind the scenes” and “making of” articles I’ve read, what they wanted was a two-hour, PG-rated movie that could be the start of a whole new franchise.

What they ended up with, of course, is a sprawling, self-contained three-hour movie that barely avoided an NC-17 rating.

And really, it couldn’t be any other way. Seriously. What were they thinking? Any executive who thought Watchmen could be the next X-Men franchise clearly didn’t understand the story. Watchmen isn’t really a superhero story; it’s a brutal, ugly, and morally gray morality play, filled with characters who are at best deeply flawed and at worst are morally reprehensible. The main character is a sociopath, for God’s sake! In one of the film’s more graphic scenes, one superhero beats and attempts to rape another superhero. (Actor Jeffrey Morgan, who plays the superhero The Comedian, describes that particular scene as “three of the hardest days of filming I have ever had to do.”)

What did they think, that they’d be able to release Watchmen Origins: Rorschach a few years from now? What we learn about Rorschach’s past in Watchmen is exactly enough, kthx; anything more would be trawling through a sewer in a glass-bottom boat. The studio should be content with the merchandising tie-ins they’ve already done (“the Comedian deluxe collector figure comes with accessories and multiple guns,” the better to shoot pregnant women with) and be done with it.


One of the complaints I’ve heard that makes sense is about the soundtrack. That complaint I have to agree with; the soundtrack for the film is jarring and in some places incongruous. I understand why the choices were made; I understand what the intent was; I understand that part of the goal of the soundtrack was to ground the film in a particular time, and more importantly, in a particular psychological environment. The choices that were made are logical, but I think were wrong; the audience members who are familiar with these songs are going to bring their own associations to them, and they may not be the associations that were intended. (That was definitely true in several cases for me.)

One of the complaints I’ve heard that doesn’t make sense is that the pacing of the film was wrong.

Watchmen is not a superhero movie. It is a deconstruction of superhero movies. It is a reaction against the comics of the 60s and 70s, that were forced by industry standards to conform to the Comics Code Authority‘s inane Comic Book Code, which required, among other things, that in all comic books “If crime is depicted it shall be as a sordid and unpleasant activity,” “Criminals shall not be presented so as to be rendered glamorous or to occupy a position which creates a desire for emulation,” and perhaps most stupidly, “In every instance good shall triumph over evil and the criminal punished for his misdeeds.”

The superhero movies we’re familiar with–X-Men, Spider-Man, Batman–are all based on stories that are products of this code. The code has shaped what we expect from a superhero movie, and I don’t mean just in ways like “superheros don’t commit rape” and “superheros don’t shoot pregnant women.” We expect a certain style of storytelling, with epic battles and chases and exciting music. We expect noble deeds, good, evil, tension, climax, resolution.

That isn’t what Watchmen offers.

What Watchmen offers is the notion that our expectations are stupid, uninformed, and fucked-up from the start. What Watchmen offers is the observation that putting on a mask and beating up bad guys is a pretty fucked-up thing to do, and the fucked-up people who do this fucked-up thing are not likely to be noble in character. What Watchmen offers is the idea that life isn’t neatly divided along lines of good and evil; people are people, and often they’re fucked-up, and people do stuff–some of which is noble and some of which descends to atrocity.

And sometimes some of the stuff that people do is both at the same time, and sometimes it’s neither, and sometimes people just plain don’t give a fuck, and if that makes you uncomfortable, then that’s too bad. Against the backdrop of war and civil unrest and the possibility of nuclear annihilation, sometimes it really doesn’t matter whether you’re beating up purse snatchers; it’s all just rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic.

For people who walk into Watchmen expecting a superhero flick, there’s likely to be some grumbling. It’s not, even though it’s filled with folks in masks who beat up bad guys. Better, I think, to walk in expecting a mystery. We know how to deal with mystery movies; we expect a slower, more measured pace. We’re not looking for chase scenes and things blowing up. Though even that isn’t quite right; Watchmen starts out with a straight-ahead murder mystery, but in this story, context and subtext are everything.

And how, exactly, do we cope with the superhero who sees all of humanity as a kind of extended lifeboat dilemma and makes the obvious, logical, necessary, and thoroughly evil choice? The story dares us: Are your moral values as resolute as Rorschach’s, the sociopath who has nothing but contempt for human life yet is willing to die for the things he believes to be morally right? “No. Not even in the face of Armageddon. Never compromise,” he says. Would you? Or would you choose to become complicit in atrocity?

One of the reviews of Watchmen I’ve read refers to one of the characters as a “supervillain,” but is he? I don’t believe that he is, and more to the point, by labeling him as a supervillain I think the reviewer missed the entire point of the morality play. One of the unintended side-effects of the Comic Book Code is that it has left pop culture littered with superheros who are incapable of making complex moral decisions, because they’ve never had to.


One thing I felt as I was watching the movie was a sense of disconnect from the emotional impact of the story. When I read the comic-book version, I recall feeling profoundly affected by it on an emotional level, and the emotional response I had to the story became so tangled up in the emotional landscape of all the things going on in my life at that time that now, more than twenty years later, they’re still difficult for me to unpack from each other.

The movie, which in many ways was faithful to the comic to the point of obsession, felt detached to me. The set design, the direction, the costumes, the settings, were all pitch-perfect, but somehow the movie lacked the immediate emotional resonance of the book for me. That might be in part because of my own familiarity with the story, or because the story belongs to a part of my life that is so distant that the person I was then is almost alien and incomprehensible to the person I am now, or because there’s just no way any re-interpretation of the story could ever match the impact of my first exposure to it. I’ve talked to people who didn’t read it first, and they don’t seem to find the movie as flat as I do, so I don’t know.

It is interesting to me how the limbic system can remain static for decades. In almost every way that’s relevant, I am not even remotely related to the person I was in 1986, to the point where I have trouble even understanding the person I used to be, yet the emotional reality of that person is still as clear and present as if it had happened yesterday. This sort of lizard-brain stickiness contributes, I think, to a great deal of human misery; we remember the emotions surrounding things long after the things themselves have faded, and as a result our recollections of people who have been important to us are stained by those emotions and become frozen like flies in amber. We remember arguments that passed a decade ago as clearly as if the door was still slamming, long after we have forgotten the things that drew us to the people around us in the first place. But again, I digress.

Watchmen is not a story that meets with the Comics Code Authority’s approval. It’s brooding and dark and morally gray, and the end of the story leaves the audience stranded in a moral quagmire with no way out. This is not your father’s tale of heros and villains. “In every instance good shall triumph over evil and the criminal punished for his misdeeds”? In Watchmen, we’re left not really sure who is good and who is evil, if indeed those terms are even meaningful at all.

Watching a conventional superhero movie like Spider-Man or X-Men in the theater is a very different experience than seeing Watchmen; with movies like X-Men, you eat popcorn and the folks around you cheer and you leave the movie feeling excited and happy. There are moments of that in Watchmen, to be sure (both times I saw it, the audience cheered at Rorschach’s “None of you understand. I’m not locked up in here with you; you’re locked up in here with me!”) but Watchmen is the only movie involving superheroes I’ve ever seen where the audience reaction to the story’s final, climactic confrontation is stunned silence (or, the first time I saw it, someone crying). Complicity in atrocity comes easily, and the movie makes us complicit and then twists the knife.

That last confrontation did keep its emotional impact for me. In the end, the technical changes that were made to the storyline, the condensation of the background material, all that stuff doesn’t really matter, though I’m sure hard-core comic geeks will keep using these things in online dicksizing contests for generations to come.

What matters is that the movie achieved the objective of the comic. And in that, I’m by no small measure impressed. Is it a brilliant movie? No, it’s not; but it’s a brilliant story. And that’s what counts.

Lust

My birthday is coming up soon. I mention this for two reasons: first, because it means that I have to renew my vehicle registration; and second, because… well, I’ll get to that in a minute.

The registration is relevant to the object of my lust, because, you see, Georgia requires vehicle emissions testing every time the registration on a car or truck is renewed.

This afternoon, during my lunch break, I went to have my emissions tested. The place where this is done is a tiny steel building, about the size of a Quonset hut or metal shed, with a diminutive office–really, a space hardly big enough for two chairs and a magazine stand–attached.

In the magazine stand were several copies of some “high fashion” magazine or other; I don’t remember their names, as they all look the same to me.

In the magazine I picked up at random and flipped through while the technician revved my engine and prodded my car was an article on wristwatches. And in that article was a description of the thing to which I am by degrees coming.

It is a wristwatch made by a company called Romaine Jerome.

It is not a wristwatch in any conventional sense of the term, however. Rather than a dial and hands, it tells time by means of small drums which rotate, and on which are printed numbers. The drums are driven by–get this–a tiny chain, like a bicycle chain whose miniscule links are well under half a millimeter in size. The whole thing is steampunk and retro and gorgeous beyond belief.

This, gentle readers, is the Romaine Jerome Cabestan watch:

Just the thing for a steampunk ‘con costume.

The only down side? Suggested retail price: $220,000.00 US. Did I mention my birthday is coming up?