Anyone who’s been around in the poly community has met, on at least 724 occasions, a married couple looking for a hot bisexual woman to come be their “third.”
In the interests of presenting a public service, I’ve prepared this handy guide to unicorn hunting–a flowchart for people looking for that hot bi babe. You can all thank me later.
This actually popped into my head while I was in the shower this morning, and refused to quit bugging me ’til I did something about it. Clicky on the picture to embiggen.
*snerk*
Its funny because its (largely) true.
*snerk*
Its funny because its (largely) true.
No one wants to take me up on my idea of a great personals website: Unicorn Hunter.
Or it could be a porn site, a la “MILF Hunter”
Indeed. It should be flexible!
Awesome! First you post your personal to get a unicorn, then you post pictures of the HAWT THREESOME SEX. 🙂
I like the idea.. however I have some questions.
Obviously it’s far too easy to put in a set of criteria that matches your exact requirements and get zero. The obvious solution is to *find* the unicorn, but on mailing them get a response that they’ve met their unicorn. Then repeat..
Is the website presented as serious, or a sarcy pisstake? (‘Welcome back, Special Snowflake! We have found five potential unicorns for you – all hot, talented, rich and amazing in the sack. Their requirements are for someone exactly like you! CurvyPhDMillionaire63 is searching for “a fairly ugly guy who likes going to the pub, doesnt exercise, has no hobbies, never reads and works in McDonalds”. Get in there, my son!’)
No one wants to take me up on my idea of a great personals website: Unicorn Hunter.
I really like this!
I think we should establish a perma link in the poly communities user info to this.
Then ask!
oh, please, no.
I really like this!
*laughs until he falls over*
Right now, someone is looking at that and going “Bah! *I* don’t do that! I just can’t find a Hot Bisexual Babe because….”
You know it’s true.
*laughs until he falls over*
Right now, someone is looking at that and going “Bah! *I* don’t do that! I just can’t find a Hot Bisexual Babe because….”
You know it’s true.
ROFLDED
well played.
ROFLDED
well played.
Showers are perfect places to think of stuff.
Showers are perfect places to think of stuff.
Or it could be a porn site, a la “MILF Hunter”
It’s only so funny because it’s so, so true.
It’s only so funny because it’s so, so true.
Indeed. It should be flexible!
I think we should establish a perma link in the poly communities user info to this.
Then ask!
Awesome! First you post your personal to get a unicorn, then you post pictures of the HAWT THREESOME SEX. 🙂
You are brilliant.
You are brilliant.
Have you posted this on? Because it would go over very very well there!
Have you posted this on? Because it would go over very very well there!
What if I’m looking for a hot bi guy to be my third … fourth, maybe.
What if I’m looking for a hot bi guy to be my third … fourth, maybe.
Wonderful! Thanks for sharing!
PS, this makes me glad I’m NOT a unicorn.
Wonderful! Thanks for sharing!
PS, this makes me glad I’m NOT a unicorn.
I think “Dump Her” should either go back to “Start” or “Frustrated Yet?”, but otherwise it looks right 🙂
Nah–you can never skip the bitching about how there are never any REAL HBBs out there. It’s mandatory.
I think “Dump Her” should either go back to “Start” or “Frustrated Yet?”, but otherwise it looks right 🙂
You rock!
You rock!
Seconded.
There are lots of single bi-males on swingers websites. Lots of them. But just like in the poly community, not so many bisexual females looking to get with couples. This same flowchart could just as easily apply to swingers.
Seconded.
I will pay money for an 18″ x 24″ poster version of this.
Seconded! I’ll hang it up at every PolyC meeting!
Thirded!
I will pay money for an 18″ x 24″ poster version of this.
Hah, this is great! 😀
Also, flow charts are sexy.
Hah, this is great! 😀
Also, flow charts are sexy.
Amazing. A friend commented this would make a great board game. He also requested the opposing, “Flowchart for Hot Bi Chicks Looking for a Couple.” heh.
A flowchart consisting of two boxes and one line is not much of a flowchart at all..
Amazing. A friend commented this would make a great board game. He also requested the opposing, “Flowchart for Hot Bi Chicks Looking for a Couple.” heh.
In my current role as lead system tester, I feel obligated to test this flow chart. Please forward test material (ie Hot Bi Babes) to my address.
Win.
In my current role as lead system tester, I feel obligated to test this flow chart. Please forward test material (ie Hot Bi Babes) to my address.
Flowchart for Hot Bi Babe Looking for a Couple
Too easy! I can do it in here:
[Post ad online] -> [Receive more responses than you know how to deal with] -> [Attempt to pick the least sleazy]
Re: Flowchart for Hot Bi Babe Looking for a Couple
HAHAHA
Yeah. BTDT.
Re: Flowchart for Hot Bi Babe Looking for a Couple
Lmao!!! That’s sooo true!
Re: Flowchart for Hot Bi Babe Looking for a Couple
Clearly I wasn’t feeling at my most cynical last night, as I failed to add step four:
-> [realise they’re *all* sleazy]
Re: Flowchart for Hot Bi Babe Looking for a Couple
With the occasional:
[look at ads online]->[hope to find one that’s not sleazy]->[realize they’re *all* sleazy]
Flowchart for Hot Bi Babe Looking for a Couple
Too easy! I can do it in here:
[Post ad online] -> [Receive more responses than you know how to deal with] -> [Attempt to pick the least sleazy]
Seconded! I’ll hang it up at every PolyC meeting!
as a unicorn myself (at least to some folks) I TOTALLY agree.
(and you didn’t even touch on if HBB has kids, will have any legal issues with grouping, any average day to day life stuff etc.)
You forgot something:
The HBB will probably be batshit crazy.
um…..that statement goes both ways.
In 3 of the 5 “couples” I have been with…at least 1 was flippin off their rocker.
Usually it was the wife.
as a unicorn myself (at least to some folks) I TOTALLY agree.
(and you didn’t even touch on if HBB has kids, will have any legal issues with grouping, any average day to day life stuff etc.)
Re: Flowchart for Hot Bi Babe Looking for a Couple
HAHAHA
Yeah. BTDT.
Extremely cromulent!
Extremely cromulent!
Thirded!
This is excellent.. would be great if people actually followed it… not likely but great 😀
This is excellent.. would be great if people actually followed it… not likely but great 😀
Re: Flowchart for Hot Bi Babe Looking for a Couple
Lmao!!! That’s sooo true!
Ah, flowcharts. The answers to many of life’s questions, all in one convenient spot.
Ah, flowcharts. The answers to many of life’s questions, all in one convenient spot.
*smirk*
Awesome. B)
*smirk*
Awesome. B)
Re: Flowchart for Hot Bi Babe Looking for a Couple
Clearly I wasn’t feeling at my most cynical last night, as I failed to add step four:
-> [realise they’re *all* sleazy]
Re: Flowchart for Hot Bi Babe Looking for a Couple
With the occasional:
[look at ads online]->[hope to find one that’s not sleazy]->[realize they’re *all* sleazy]
oh, please, no.
OMG. Here from. This is exactly why I refused to date couples back when I was a HBB (instead of a sexy married poly person). Thank you for this.
OMG. Here from. This is exactly why I refused to date couples back when I was a HBB (instead of a sexy married poly person). Thank you for this.
Nah–you can never skip the bitching about how there are never any REAL HBBs out there. It’s mandatory.
You forgot something:
The HBB will probably be batshit crazy.
um…..that statement goes both ways.
In 3 of the 5 “couples” I have been with…at least 1 was flippin off their rocker.
Usually it was the wife.
Win.
funny but not so funny?
Hmm…check your ‘higher than thou’ attitudes everyone…there is a lot of stereotyping being thrown around here…
Re: funny but not so funny?
And the reason that stereotype got going. Because people like that exist, and sadly for me I ended up dating two of them.
funny but not so funny?
Hmm…check your ‘higher than thou’ attitudes everyone…there is a lot of stereotyping being thrown around here…
There are lots of single bi-males on swingers websites. Lots of them. But just like in the poly community, not so many bisexual females looking to get with couples. This same flowchart could just as easily apply to swingers.
Speaking as a unicorn . . . I love it ;D
— A <3
Speaking as a unicorn . . . I love it ;D
— A <3
I just saw this on the Lolkink blog and wanted to come let you know. It’s hilarious and (unfortunately) true to stereotype.
Wow, neat! 🙂
I just saw this on the Lolkink blog and wanted to come let you know. It’s hilarious and (unfortunately) true to stereotype.
Wow, neat! 🙂
A flowchart consisting of two boxes and one line is not much of a flowchart at all..
I like the idea.. however I have some questions.
Obviously it’s far too easy to put in a set of criteria that matches your exact requirements and get zero. The obvious solution is to *find* the unicorn, but on mailing them get a response that they’ve met their unicorn. Then repeat..
Is the website presented as serious, or a sarcy pisstake? (‘Welcome back, Special Snowflake! We have found five potential unicorns for you – all hot, talented, rich and amazing in the sack. Their requirements are for someone exactly like you! CurvyPhDMillionaire63 is searching for “a fairly ugly guy who likes going to the pub, doesnt exercise, has no hobbies, never reads and works in McDonalds”. Get in there, my son!’)
Re: funny but not so funny?
And the reason that stereotype got going. Because people like that exist, and sadly for me I ended up dating two of them.
http://www.questionablecontent.net/comics/1402.png
http://www.questionablecontent.net/comics/1402.png
Spot on, bravo *applauds*
Spot on, bravo *applauds*
LOL. Awesome.
LOL. Awesome.
I had to come and track this down after finding these guys (cut for length and anonymity, and emphasis is mine):
“We have been looking for our ideal mate 14 years now. … wanting a slim bi-female or single bi-mom 17-35 with small children and wanting the bi-female or bi-mom to be completely free of their ex-lovers and or father(s) to their children. We wanted her to live-in and create a interracial poly family, since I am Black and my partner is Asian. Unfortunately we have been unable to have children and cannot adopt. Neither of us have close friends or family who agree with our very liberal views on sex, child rearing or life in general. We feel a poly relationship would give us the close family and friends all wrapped up in one person and any children she might have. We also felt her children would grow up with us three and we and they would come to feel connected emotionally and spiritually. Finally, we could use help in our home and know that if anything happened to one of us, the other would not be left alone in this often cold and insensitive world. Both of us have slowly come to accept we may never find the person we seek. Some people have accused us of being too picky, yet, we are picking a life partner. Why should we pick someone out of loniliness, someone who is seriously over weight that neither of us are sexually active (I believe they meant ‘attracted to’), someone who want to rear their children in a non-sexual, censored and “vanilla” lifestyle? We have been members of many poly groups and ran ads also but most ended in having racist insults, insults about our age difference ( they saw me as having one foot in the grave) and I should give my partner over to a younger man, lesbian women who wanted my apartner and not me or wanted me to make mixed race babies for them and their boyfriend and or husband. So it has been very disappointing. We hope to find that person on [website]”
So… not only do they want a woman to come and sleep with both of them, and nobody else, do their housework and look after the babies, they want her to *have* the babies too. I note that they make no mention of what they expect this imaginary third person to get out of the relationship. Having checked out their profile on the site where I found this, apparently it’s also important that their
victim, I mean,breeding slave, I mean, ‘ideal partner’ is shaved.Amazing…
I had to come and track this down after finding these guys (cut for length and anonymity, and emphasis is mine):
“We have been looking for our ideal mate 14 years now. … wanting a slim bi-female or single bi-mom 17-35 with small children and wanting the bi-female or bi-mom to be completely free of their ex-lovers and or father(s) to their children. We wanted her to live-in and create a interracial poly family, since I am Black and my partner is Asian. Unfortunately we have been unable to have children and cannot adopt. Neither of us have close friends or family who agree with our very liberal views on sex, child rearing or life in general. We feel a poly relationship would give us the close family and friends all wrapped up in one person and any children she might have. We also felt her children would grow up with us three and we and they would come to feel connected emotionally and spiritually. Finally, we could use help in our home and know that if anything happened to one of us, the other would not be left alone in this often cold and insensitive world. Both of us have slowly come to accept we may never find the person we seek. Some people have accused us of being too picky, yet, we are picking a life partner. Why should we pick someone out of loniliness, someone who is seriously over weight that neither of us are sexually active (I believe they meant ‘attracted to’), someone who want to rear their children in a non-sexual, censored and “vanilla” lifestyle? We have been members of many poly groups and ran ads also but most ended in having racist insults, insults about our age difference ( they saw me as having one foot in the grave) and I should give my partner over to a younger man, lesbian women who wanted my apartner and not me or wanted me to make mixed race babies for them and their boyfriend and or husband. So it has been very disappointing. We hope to find that person on [website]”
So… not only do they want a woman to come and sleep with both of them, and nobody else, do their housework and look after the babies, they want her to *have* the babies too. I note that they make no mention of what they expect this imaginary third person to get out of the relationship. Having checked out their profile on the site where I found this, apparently it’s also important that their
victim, I mean,breeding slave, I mean, ‘ideal partner’ is shaved.Amazing…
Just got chatted up on OKC by a blatant unicorn hunter. Usually my profile keeps them away, but there were clearly using the broadcast approach and not actually reading profiles. I was thinking of suggesting they try their local escort agency, but instead I sent them here.
Just got chatted up on OKC by a blatant unicorn hunter. Usually my profile keeps them away, but there were clearly using the broadcast approach and not actually reading profiles. I was thinking of suggesting they try their local escort agency, but instead I sent them here.
WOW….typical Uni Hunter concept…which is exactly why I loathe Unicorn Hunters 🙂
WOW….typical Uni Hunter concept…which is exactly why I loathe Unicorn Hunters 🙂