Everything I ever REALLY needed to know…

…I learned on a spontaneous 2600-mile weekend road trip to Boston. Things like:

– Thou Shalt Not Take The Words Of The Oracle Of Mapquest As Gospel, For Verily They Do Lie From Time To Time, Just To Keep You On Your Toes

– After 1,000 miles in the car, nobody wants to hear your Agent Smith impersonation.

– New Jersey has a smell that lingers.

– If you see six police cars in your rearview mirror, lights blazing and sirens screaming, closing fast behind you, just pull over and let them by. Even if you were speeding, they’re not interested in you. Seriously. In the grand scheme of things, you’re just not that important.

– When you’re debating the pros and cons of a very long drive to pay an unexpected visit to someone, don’t forget to account for the fact that you’re going to arrive at your destination smelling like armpit. Please, for the love of God, think of the children!

– Yes, you do need to pee. You only think you don’t.

– No matter how full your baggage is, there’s always room for a 7.62-caliber bullet. And a 7.62-caliber bullet is always an appropriate housewarming gift. Especially if you have a whole lot of ’em lying around as a result of the last party. Just sayin’.

– Police officers are social creatures. Wherever you see one, there are a lot more you don’t see. Kind of like spiders and cockroaches.

– Think of the coolest thing you can imagine, and the second-coolest thing you can imagine. Now picture the second-coolest thing balancing on top of the coolest thing. ladytabitha is cooler than that.

– Experiences are more rewarding than possessions.

And finally, the #1 thing I learned on a spontaneous 2600-mile weekend road trip to Boston:

– Life rewards courage.

In completely unrelated news, I returned to discover a form from the Post Office saying that the package I sent to ame_chan was destroyed in transit, oops, so sorry, and that if I liked, they’d be happy to try to locate the contents, which might be in their damaged parcels facility in St. Paul, MN, but then again, might have been eaten by a goat. Sorry about that! I’ll try again tomorrow…