…a post brought to you by the letter “B”.
First, brain chemistry.
I have weird sleeping habits. I have always had weird sleeping habits. I’m most wide awake about eleven or twelve o’clock at night, and when the sun starts to come up, that’s when I start to crash. My body appears quite fixed on this quixotic schedule; I adapt quit quickly when I travel across time zones, and end up on the same sleeping cycle.
It’s really inconvenient. In fact, in high school, the only way I survived was to sleep in shifts; I’d go to sleep for a few hours right after getting home, wake up about 8 PM, stay up ’til 2 or 3, then go to sleep again for a few hours.
At one point when i was a kid, my parents actually took me to a doctor about it. He claims that while most people can alter their normal sleep/wake cycles just by changing the time that they get up or go to bed, there is a small minority of the human population for whom the Circadian rhythm is simply fixed and won’t budge, and that’s that.
That’s not the interesting bit; that’s just the background. The interesting bit is what happens when you mess with brain chemistry.
See, I have a new doctor. And when I went in to see him for the first time, I talked to him about my weird sleep schedule. And he, being apparently a practical jokester,decided he’d prescribe Ambien to me, to see if it’d sledgehammer my sleep schedule to something a bit more normal.
Folks, Ambien is some seriously scary shit.
A lot of folks have some pretty bizarre side effects. i didn’t get the really strange ones, like sleep amnesia (which is a pity, because I think it’d be fun to play with in a BDSM context–wake up one morning curled up next to my partner, with bruises all over my body and a pile of sex toys scattered around the bed, and with absolutely no memory of what happened until she handed me the videotape…but I digress.)
What I did get was a complete, radical overhaul of my internal perceptions of hunger.
See, for the most part, I’ve never really felt hungry. I mean, sure, if I go for a long time without eating, I’d get all shaky and stuff, and then I’d think “Oh yeah! I haven’t eaten in seven hours. Reckon I might want to see to that.”
But it’s never been intrusive, you know? Like, it’s never been something that I get all “OMG I can’t concentrate if I don’t eat RIGHT NOW.” And for the most part, that’s how I like my biological needs…non-intrusive. I resent them as it is; to have them pressing on me all the time, demanding to be taken care of, would just be awful.
But a week after I started on Ambien, I started waking up at 4 AM starving. I mean, in a very literal sense, hungry like I have never experienced hunger before. I’m talking like “I am so starving that if I don’t eat right this minute NOW DAMMIT NOW I am going to DIE.” For the first time in my entire life, I have an appreciation for what the phrase “hunger pains” actually means.
And I’d try to eat, but couldn’t, because…well, I wasn’t really hungry. It was a strictly internal, brain-chemistry thing.
And it was miserable. So much so that I quit taking the Ambien.
Now, three months later, my sense of hunger is still distorted. I stopped waking up with phantom hunger. Bu my perception of hunger is still much stronger and sharper than it has ever been in my life, and I do not much cotton to that.
Ambien: It’s the reverse of a diet pill! Fucking brain chemistry anyway.
Books!
So I got a big pile of books from Amazon yesterday, with a second big pile of books scheduled to arrive today. And I still have $30 in credit from Amazon.com!
Which, I discovered completely by accident while I was looking for old-school steel manacles to affix to the Monkey Rocker, also sells BDSM gear. When did Amazon start selling BDSM gear, and why wasn’t I notified?
Not only do they sell BDSM gear, they sell straitjackets. Brand-new straitjackets. In black!
For $29.
And I still have $30 in credit.
Let me repeat that, because I know it’s too much awesomeness to sink in all at once. I found a place that sells straitjackets. For twenty-nine dollars. And I have a thirty dollar store credit from this place.
*is blown away by the cool*
And finally:
_luaineach is doing a fundraiser to support breast cancer research.
Specifically, she’s doing a 60-mile walk to raise money for cancer research. And there’s a minimum threshold of pledges she has to reach in order to be able to do the walking part. Which sounds like a feature and not a bug to me, but it’d still be a shame if all the training she’s been doing goes to waste. You can find out more here.
Out of curiosity – what’s your sleep cycle like now?
I usually stay up ’til 2 or 3 AM, stare at the ceiling for an hour or two before sleep, then struggle out of bed blearily at about 10 in the morning. No matter how much sleep I’ve had the night before, if I get out of bed before about 9 AM I’m headachy, irritable, and cranky all day. And, no matter how sleep-deprived I am, if I try to go to bed at ten or eleven PM I’ll be awake ’til 2, guaranteed.
Yeah, it really is inconvenient.
The only way I get away with rolling into the office at 11:30 in the morning or so is that (a) nobody else can do what I do and (b) oh yeah, I’m part owner of the company.
Do you nap during the day? Or adjust in other ways?
I ask because I’m fairly positive my partner is on the same schedule.
Curiously, that’s pretty much the same schedule I adopt if I don’t have anything demanding my time during the day. Up until 2-4, sleep until 11-Noon, repeat. If I could just keep the same schedule, and move to some place in Europe, I’d be all set to be a morning person.
Out of curiosity – what’s your sleep cycle like now?
I usually stay up ’til 2 or 3 AM, stare at the ceiling for an hour or two before sleep, then struggle out of bed blearily at about 10 in the morning. No matter how much sleep I’ve had the night before, if I get out of bed before about 9 AM I’m headachy, irritable, and cranky all day. And, no matter how sleep-deprived I am, if I try to go to bed at ten or eleven PM I’ll be awake ’til 2, guaranteed.
Yeah, it really is inconvenient.
The only way I get away with rolling into the office at 11:30 in the morning or so is that (a) nobody else can do what I do and (b) oh yeah, I’m part owner of the company.
…they sell straitjackets. Brand-new straitjackets. In black!
Dude, You don’t make statements like that, and then not provide us with a link!
…they sell straitjackets. Brand-new straitjackets. In black!
Dude, You don’t make statements like that, and then not provide us with a link!
Do you nap during the day? Or adjust in other ways?
I ask because I’m fairly positive my partner is on the same schedule.
lol – I just avoid doctors in general, and drugs in specific. Except my Ethyl 😉
lol – I just avoid doctors in general, and drugs in specific. Except my Ethyl 😉
Thank you!
Thank you!
I am also a night person. I can be exhausted and wake up at 9 or 10. When I was dating it was ver easy to stay up all night with him (he works 3rd shift). When I was a kid I’d wait for my mom to go to sleep and then I’d get up and watch tv until it went off air and then read. I can go for extended periods of time getting 4 or 5 hours sleep a day. However I have been able to beat my schedule into a more traditional one out of necessity for work.
As for the Ambien I have heard of people sleep eating on it, you probably woke up because you are such a night person.
I am also a night person. I can be exhausted and wake up at 9 or 10. When I was dating it was ver easy to stay up all night with him (he works 3rd shift). When I was a kid I’d wait for my mom to go to sleep and then I’d get up and watch tv until it went off air and then read. I can go for extended periods of time getting 4 or 5 hours sleep a day. However I have been able to beat my schedule into a more traditional one out of necessity for work.
As for the Ambien I have heard of people sleep eating on it, you probably woke up because you are such a night person.
Don’t be silly, you’d pass out from hunger before you died of it.
Don’t be silly, you’d pass out from hunger before you died of it.
I have the same sleep schedule and it might possibly be worse than yours! I think you once said I was the only person harder to wake up in the morning than you 😀
I’m cranky and irritable all day if I wake up before 10 AM, but noon would be better. If I could, I’d only sleep 4 AM to noon, but even when I did have the opportunity to do so, my sleep schedule actually shifted about an hour later every night.
I’ve always had this and I’ve always been told that if I just make myself go to bed early and make myself wake up early, I can re-set my clock. In 10 years of high school, college, and a regular job, it never happened. Without fail, every Friday night, I would automatically not sleep until 2 AM and sleep all day no matter what I did or what time I woke up Friday morning.
It sucks because the rest of the world doesn’t accomodate. I really miss 24-hour restaurants, hardware stores and after-hour nightclubs!
I remember a study where they placed people somewhere with no clocks and no sunlight (aka, no outside influences of time.) These individuals adjusted to a 25 hour time clock.
The last time I had the flexibility to do it (probably the summer after I graduated from high school), I seemed to fall most naturally into a 28 hour day, despite sunlight. But then, I don’t like the sun, anyway.
I’ve heard of that study. When left completely to my own devices with no penalties for sleeping or staying awake whenever, I actually ran on a 36 hour day. I stayed awake for roughly 24 hours at a time and slept for 12. What happened was my day lengthened by one hour progressively every night until I reached the 24 hours of waking time and stopped there.
But the 25-ish hour clock seems more common, certainly it was during that study.
I remember reading about that back in my misspent college youth. Ran a bunch of folks through an experiment that kept them in a windowless place with researchers whose schedule had been randomized, and no clocks, as I recall.
I think it’s interesting that were not really on the same rhythm as the planet itself is.
I have the same sleep schedule and it might possibly be worse than yours! I think you once said I was the only person harder to wake up in the morning than you 😀
I’m cranky and irritable all day if I wake up before 10 AM, but noon would be better. If I could, I’d only sleep 4 AM to noon, but even when I did have the opportunity to do so, my sleep schedule actually shifted about an hour later every night.
I’ve always had this and I’ve always been told that if I just make myself go to bed early and make myself wake up early, I can re-set my clock. In 10 years of high school, college, and a regular job, it never happened. Without fail, every Friday night, I would automatically not sleep until 2 AM and sleep all day no matter what I did or what time I woke up Friday morning.
It sucks because the rest of the world doesn’t accomodate. I really miss 24-hour restaurants, hardware stores and after-hour nightclubs!
I remember a study where they placed people somewhere with no clocks and no sunlight (aka, no outside influences of time.) These individuals adjusted to a 25 hour time clock.
The last time I had the flexibility to do it (probably the summer after I graduated from high school), I seemed to fall most naturally into a 28 hour day, despite sunlight. But then, I don’t like the sun, anyway.
I think my normal day cycle is about 2 hours longer than the earth rotation.
I have a messed up sleep thing since I was a teenager. During times of extreme stress and being busy, I have done 36 hours awake, 12 hours of “sleep like the dead”, but generally it is more like 18-22 hours of awake, and 3 to 5 hours of sleep. It is extremely unusual for me to sleep more than 5 hours without waking.
If there is ever developed a somewhat safe drug to eliminate the need for sleep, I’d use it, and then sleep recreationally on occasion (dreams can be worth it sometimes).
I think my normal day cycle is about 2 hours longer than the earth rotation.
I have a messed up sleep thing since I was a teenager. During times of extreme stress and being busy, I have done 36 hours awake, 12 hours of “sleep like the dead”, but generally it is more like 18-22 hours of awake, and 3 to 5 hours of sleep. It is extremely unusual for me to sleep more than 5 hours without waking.
If there is ever developed a somewhat safe drug to eliminate the need for sleep, I’d use it, and then sleep recreationally on occasion (dreams can be worth it sometimes).
— immediately goes off in search of $29 straightjackets —
Do a search for “bondage” in “other categories” and you’ll find ’em. 🙂
— immediately goes off in search of $29 straightjackets —
I’ve heard of that study. When left completely to my own devices with no penalties for sleeping or staying awake whenever, I actually ran on a 36 hour day. I stayed awake for roughly 24 hours at a time and slept for 12. What happened was my day lengthened by one hour progressively every night until I reached the 24 hours of waking time and stopped there.
But the 25-ish hour clock seems more common, certainly it was during that study.
My circadian rhythms is similar, and always has been since high school. I’ve attempted to reset it several times, and used to suffer with a normal schedule when I was doing the 9-5 thing. It’s just not me though. My body would rather be awake at night and asleep during the day. I have a terrible time sleeping at night, but fall asleep easily and deeply during the day. I’m just resigned myself to being part vampire. 😛
A friend of mine who took Ambien had a weird side effect too, except instead of waking up hungry, she’d sleep-eat – she’d wake up with bowls and plates of half-eaten food by her bed, or family members would tell her she’d gotten up and tried to make pizza, for example, but she’d have absolutely no memory of any of these events.
Scary…and further evidence that mother nature just doesn’t like to be messed with.
My circadian rhythms is similar, and always has been since high school. I’ve attempted to reset it several times, and used to suffer with a normal schedule when I was doing the 9-5 thing. It’s just not me though. My body would rather be awake at night and asleep during the day. I have a terrible time sleeping at night, but fall asleep easily and deeply during the day. I’m just resigned myself to being part vampire. 😛
A friend of mine who took Ambien had a weird side effect too, except instead of waking up hungry, she’d sleep-eat – she’d wake up with bowls and plates of half-eaten food by her bed, or family members would tell her she’d gotten up and tried to make pizza, for example, but she’d have absolutely no memory of any of these events.
Scary…and further evidence that mother nature just doesn’t like to be messed with.
Curiously, that’s pretty much the same schedule I adopt if I don’t have anything demanding my time during the day. Up until 2-4, sleep until 11-Noon, repeat. If I could just keep the same schedule, and move to some place in Europe, I’d be all set to be a morning person.
I remember reading about that back in my misspent college youth. Ran a bunch of folks through an experiment that kept them in a windowless place with researchers whose schedule had been randomized, and no clocks, as I recall.
I think it’s interesting that were not really on the same rhythm as the planet itself is.
Do a search for “bondage” in “other categories” and you’ll find ’em. 🙂
Re: sleep amnesia
Now, dammit, that was the side effect I was hoping for, and didn’t get. Grr.
Re: sleep amnesia
Now, dammit, that was the side effect I was hoping for, and didn’t get. Grr.