American cultural icons and such

I just tried my first Moon Pie.

Yep, that’s right, I’ve somehow managed to live in the United States for thirty-eight years without ever once sampling that staple of American snack food, the most canomical example of an entire class of cheap, low-quality snacks, the Moon Pie.

It was disgusting.

Which is what I expected, really. All the snacks in the class–HoHos, Ding Dongs, and so forth–are pretty bad, when it comes right down to it.

What surprised me was the way it was disgusting. It’s really not all that similar to, say, your average Little Debbie snack cake; it’s gross in unexpected new ways that are novel and slightly weird.

All in all, I’m glad I did it.

48 thoughts on “American cultural icons and such

    • Okay, that’s it, now I definitely need to bring some Moon Pies to Boston. I can use them to torment you with; “You want a Moooooooon Piiiiiiiiiieeeee, you know you dooooooooooo…”

    • Oh, but the smell has nothing on the taste!

      I’m going to be perfectly honest with you. I hate this Moon Pie…this food, this snack, this cake, whatever you want to call it. It’s the smell! If there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it. I can taste its stink. And every time I do, i feel I have somehow been infected by it. It’s repulsive, isn’t it?

  1. You didn’t microwave it, did you? Tsk, tsk, tsk. A microwaved Moon Pie is an entirely different food. I’m fond of Moon Pies and can eat myself sick on them, but they’re so much better when they’re microwaved. Besides, it looks really cool watching them expand. πŸ™‚

  2. You didn’t microwave it, did you? Tsk, tsk, tsk. A microwaved Moon Pie is an entirely different food. I’m fond of Moon Pies and can eat myself sick on them, but they’re so much better when they’re microwaved. Besides, it looks really cool watching them expand. πŸ™‚

  3. Mmmm, moon pies, dissssguuuuuuusting for sure. I had one recently made “upscale” with real dark belgian chocolate, high grade marshmallow filling and scratch cookies made with all organic ingredients. BLEAH. Please, give me the low brow original.

    I’m making a white trash gift basket for a friend which includes moon pies, Slim Jims, Little Debbies, a tin of Skoal, RC Cola, a bag of peanuts, etc. and more. Because, it’s just funny.

  4. Mmmm, moon pies, dissssguuuuuuusting for sure. I had one recently made “upscale” with real dark belgian chocolate, high grade marshmallow filling and scratch cookies made with all organic ingredients. BLEAH. Please, give me the low brow original.

    I’m making a white trash gift basket for a friend which includes moon pies, Slim Jims, Little Debbies, a tin of Skoal, RC Cola, a bag of peanuts, etc. and more. Because, it’s just funny.

  5. I do hope it was a banana-flavored one. It can’t be the true experience unless it’s banana-flavored.

    And you have it with Royal Crown, of course.

    I like RC, actually. Moon Pies, though, are sort of in the same realm as pork rind for me — not actively disturbing the way, say, Dr. Brown’s Celery Soda is, but not something I seek out even when I’m in the strangest mood. Although if you’re driving around in really rural Florida, Moon Pies seem appropriate.

    • I saw the banana-flavored ones, but I wanted the most canonical Moon Pie experience, and as we all know, chocolate is almost always the most canonical form of any snack-cake-like food.

      I can only imagine that the banana-flavored ones would be even more repulsive…

  6. I do hope it was a banana-flavored one. It can’t be the true experience unless it’s banana-flavored.

    And you have it with Royal Crown, of course.

    I like RC, actually. Moon Pies, though, are sort of in the same realm as pork rind for me — not actively disturbing the way, say, Dr. Brown’s Celery Soda is, but not something I seek out even when I’m in the strangest mood. Although if you’re driving around in really rural Florida, Moon Pies seem appropriate.

  7. You know what the problem is?

    You did not consume said Moon Pie with an RC Cola as mandated by the Confederate Constitution. You are in violation of the Rules of Redneck Procedure.

    And please, for chrissake, tell me you did not try one of those abominations, the “banana” Moon Pie. Sacriliege!

    • Re: You know what the problem is?

      Funny you should mention that–the question of banana vs. chocolate Moon Pies seems to inspire quite a lot of passion, on both sides.

      I went with the chocolate. I can’t imagine the banana ones would be any better–but then, I can’t imagine they’d be any worse, either.

      As for the RC cola, I think I’ll pass. I wouldn’t make a good redneck anyway…

  8. You know what the problem is?

    You did not consume said Moon Pie with an RC Cola as mandated by the Confederate Constitution. You are in violation of the Rules of Redneck Procedure.

    And please, for chrissake, tell me you did not try one of those abominations, the “banana” Moon Pie. Sacriliege!

  9. πŸ™

    I’ve only ever had ONE moon cookie (that’s what they are called here in Ithaca- or should I say WERE *sob*) that I really liked….. unfortunately, the people that made these yummy cookies owned a bakery that was open for over 50 years and about 5 or 6 years ago now closed shop…. Someone else opened up where they were but their moon cookies just weren’t it…. they were just not… well… solid enough…. and the frosting wasn’t any good….

    I imagine I will never have a good moon cookie again…. πŸ™

  10. πŸ™

    I’ve only ever had ONE moon cookie (that’s what they are called here in Ithaca- or should I say WERE *sob*) that I really liked….. unfortunately, the people that made these yummy cookies owned a bakery that was open for over 50 years and about 5 or 6 years ago now closed shop…. Someone else opened up where they were but their moon cookies just weren’t it…. they were just not… well… solid enough…. and the frosting wasn’t any good….

    I imagine I will never have a good moon cookie again…. πŸ™

  11. What’s truly amazing…

    …is that you’ve lived in the southern US for years and managed to avoid this fate. I for one am fuckin’ flabbergasted.

    “…Just think Bob, all life on the planet could be destroyed and this pie would still be fresh…it’s got a guaranteed shelf-life of four years—still got two to go. Let’s face it, it’s built for the road!”–Jim Belushi, “Real Men”.

    • Re: What’s truly amazing…

      “…Just think Bob, all life on the planet could be destroyed and this pie would still be fresh…it’s got a guaranteed shelf-life of four years—still got two to go. Let’s face it, it’s built for the road!”–Jim Belushi, “Real Men”.

      Gods, I love that movie. It’s just such a beautiful thing.

  12. What’s truly amazing…

    …is that you’ve lived in the southern US for years and managed to avoid this fate. I for one am fuckin’ flabbergasted.

    “…Just think Bob, all life on the planet could be destroyed and this pie would still be fresh…it’s got a guaranteed shelf-life of four years—still got two to go. Let’s face it, it’s built for the road!”–Jim Belushi, “Real Men”.

  13. Being from the south…

    Though I do not live there now. I spent the majority of my life in central Georgia, where not only are Moon Pies and staple of every convenience store “candy rack” (and likely economic stability as well), but they are also served at some resturants as DESSERT ITEMS. Yes you can get it plain, to go, Hot plain, Hot with Ice Cream, or even Plain (cold) with Ice Cream. AND all of that in any flavor you want, Regular, Unleaded, or Diesel umm i mean.. Chocolate, Vanilla, or Banana.

    Personally, I hate the darn things. I think they are horrid no matter which way you stack it. Then I moved to Michigan and one day realized that they had “disappeared”. A month later I craved one of the abominations…… A sad day indeed…

    -ewwey and gooey

  14. Being from the south…

    Though I do not live there now. I spent the majority of my life in central Georgia, where not only are Moon Pies and staple of every convenience store “candy rack” (and likely economic stability as well), but they are also served at some resturants as DESSERT ITEMS. Yes you can get it plain, to go, Hot plain, Hot with Ice Cream, or even Plain (cold) with Ice Cream. AND all of that in any flavor you want, Regular, Unleaded, or Diesel umm i mean.. Chocolate, Vanilla, or Banana.

    Personally, I hate the darn things. I think they are horrid no matter which way you stack it. Then I moved to Michigan and one day realized that they had “disappeared”. A month later I craved one of the abominations…… A sad day indeed…

    -ewwey and gooey

  15. Re: What’s truly amazing…

    “…Just think Bob, all life on the planet could be destroyed and this pie would still be fresh…it’s got a guaranteed shelf-life of four years—still got two to go. Let’s face it, it’s built for the road!”–Jim Belushi, “Real Men”.

    Gods, I love that movie. It’s just such a beautiful thing.

  16. As others have pointed out, you’ve omitted crucial data: what flavor of Moon Pie did you try? Personally, I think the canonical Pie, and in most cases the best intro Pie is the chocolate. The exception being, of course, the odd chocolate haters.

    Now me, I don’t like bananas. At all. So I’m also going to avoid banana Moon Pies, because I don’t like fake banana either. But other people’s mileage varies.

    Of course, I haven’t had one of any flavor in years.

  17. As others have pointed out, you’ve omitted crucial data: what flavor of Moon Pie did you try? Personally, I think the canonical Pie, and in most cases the best intro Pie is the chocolate. The exception being, of course, the odd chocolate haters.

    Now me, I don’t like bananas. At all. So I’m also going to avoid banana Moon Pies, because I don’t like fake banana either. But other people’s mileage varies.

    Of course, I haven’t had one of any flavor in years.

  18. Okay, that’s it, now I definitely need to bring some Moon Pies to Boston. I can use them to torment you with; “You want a Moooooooon Piiiiiiiiiieeeee, you know you dooooooooooo…”

  19. Oh, but the smell has nothing on the taste!

    I’m going to be perfectly honest with you. I hate this Moon Pie…this food, this snack, this cake, whatever you want to call it. It’s the smell! If there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it. I can taste its stink. And every time I do, i feel I have somehow been infected by it. It’s repulsive, isn’t it?

  20. I saw the banana-flavored ones, but I wanted the most canonical Moon Pie experience, and as we all know, chocolate is almost always the most canonical form of any snack-cake-like food.

    I can only imagine that the banana-flavored ones would be even more repulsive…

  21. Re: You know what the problem is?

    Funny you should mention that–the question of banana vs. chocolate Moon Pies seems to inspire quite a lot of passion, on both sides.

    I went with the chocolate. I can’t imagine the banana ones would be any better–but then, I can’t imagine they’d be any worse, either.

    As for the RC cola, I think I’ll pass. I wouldn’t make a good redneck anyway…

  22. Re: πŸ™

    Nope, different animal. A moon pie is two vanilla cookies with chocolate sauce on them and a thick layer of white marshmallow cream between.

    Sounds good; the reality is actually quite nasty.

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