bandage leashed and collard me and took me out for some dancing and seeing of the sights. We arrived at the club to behold a most joyous thing.
Q: What’s better than lesbian chicks?
A: Goth lesbian chicks.
Q: What’s better than goth lesbian chicks?
A: Goth lesbian chicks making out.
Q: What’s better than goth lesbian chicks making out?
A: Lots and lots of goth lesbian chicks making out.
Lesbian chicks make the world a better place. God bless ’em, each and every one.
Later, on the way back to the car, a bunch of drunk rednecks hanging out in the parking garage:
“Dude! Is that a leash? That’s fucked! You’re supposed to wear the pants, dude!”
Yes, but I’m going home with Shelly tonight, and you’re not.
Which is not to say I think they’ll never get laid, of course. Even knuckle-dragging mouth-breathers score sometimes. And sometimes, she doesn’t even press charges.