Things and Stuff

Quotes out of Context

Her: “Implements of torture are always good gifts. I like anything that causes pain.”

Lemme axe you something…

Saturday, kellyv, Shelly, M and I went to a Renaissance Festival in Largo.

I used to go to Ren Faires often, though I haven’t been to one since 1992. They don’t hold quite the appeal for me that they used to, although we had an absolutely splendid time. Got to see some friends I haven’t seen in quite a while, as well.

And I got a battle axe! It’s great…a conversation piece, and practical, too!

kellyv and Shelly both said the same thing–“What are you going to do with it?” It’s a very peculiar question to ask; I’m not at all sure I even understand the question. I mean…it’s a battle axe! What does this “do with it” mean??

I did get some excellent pictures of Shelly in the parking lot of a Holiday Inn Express on the way home, which you can see tucked away behind the cut below.

Rearranging the Furniture

Friday, I drifted off to sleep holding hands with Shelly and kellyv. Being loved by the people around you is the most wonderful feeling in the world.

Shelly has a knack for getting right to the heart of things.

In the fifteen years that kellyv and I have been non-monogamous, one of the cardinal rules of our relationship has always been that we each have “veto power”–the unlimited right to reject a romantic relationship that the other engages in, if we feel threatened by it. This is common among many polyamorous people, and it serves to preserve the security of the primary relationship.

The downside is that it can represent a sword of Damocles, always hanging over the head of any newcomer to the relationship, and for Shelly, the fact that kellyv had this veto power meant that Shelly could not feel secure with me. Shelly challenged kellyv and I on this point, and as a result, kellyv decided that this power had served its purpose, but was no longer necessary with Shelly.

This is a major milestone in the relationship between kellyv and I. For the first time in our history together, she has felt secure without the unlimited right to hold final say over one of my outside relationships.

Shelly has that rarest of all gifts–the ability, and willingness, to make me re-examine some of the most basic ideas and assumptions I’ve made over the course of my life. She’s an absolutely wonderful person.

And now, as promised…

Oh, and just for the record…

Judge Dredd is the second-worst movie ever made. By anyone. Ever.

32 thoughts on “Things and Stuff

  1. Judge Dredd is the second-worst movie ever made. By anyone. Ever.
    Which is the first? My vote, and the reason for my scale (The BGS/WGS Scale) is Ghost Ship.

    • In my opinion, the worst movie ever made was the absolutely wretched horror flick “Maximum overdrive,” whosepremise was that the gasses in a passing comet caused all the machines in the world to rise up and attack people.

      Mind you, this was not a movie that was supposed to be wretched, like Killer Klowns from Outer Space or Hell Comes to Frog Town. No, this was a mainstream, big-budget Hollywood flick, based on a story by none other than Stephen King.

      I was almost two-thirds of the way through the movie before i realized I wasn’t supposed to be laughing at it, before I realized it wasn’t intended as a parody of horror-movie cliches, that the movie expected to be taken seriously.

      • bad movies?

        it’s ridiculous how many bad movies there are… I never saw either of those movies but of the ones I’ve seen I would say “Dumb and Dumber” is the worst EVER…

        • Re: bad movies?

          While Dumb and Dumber and its kin are bad movies, I don’t think they can ever really be the worst movie ever–because they don’t try to be taken seriously. They’re bad, they know they’re bad, they don’t try to be anything but bad.

          In a sense, they are to comedy what Killer Klowns from Outer Space is tohorror. You’re supposed to laugh at the movie, not with it. They’re carefully hand-crafted from the finest aged cheese, and nobody, from the director to the producer to the key grip, takes them seriously.

          No, in order to truly be awful, a movie has to think it’s Very Serious. in this respect, Judge Dredd has it all over Dumb and Dumber. Judge Dredd tries SO hard to be a serious, Sylvester Stallone action-adventure flick that it’s painful to watch. It started out as “Rocky meets Escape from New York,” but somewhere along the way, something went horribly, horribly wrong.

          And it doesn’t even know it’s a bad movie. It’s really terribly ernest.

          • Re: bad movies?

            Killer Clowns From Outer Space!! I talk about that movie fairly regularly, and it moistens me to see you mention it! Fucking hilarious.

  2. Judge Dredd is the second-worst movie ever made. By anyone. Ever.
    Which is the first? My vote, and the reason for my scale (The BGS/WGS Scale) is Ghost Ship.

  3. Go !!

    It sounds like is head yanking you pretty frequently. (In my world head yanks are needed good things.) Congratulations on dealing so well with it to you and .

    And I got a battle axe! It’s great…a conversation piece, and practical, too!

    I love my battle axe. It’s a double headed Bruce Battle axe and was designed to be used on foot soldiers from atop horseback. I’ve actually used mine on a couple of occasions. In theatre a couple of the shows that I’ve worked on have called for weapons and I’ve been able to provide them. The mace, the short sword, the dagger… after the last show I claimed the headsman’s block to put against the wall underneath my axe. *snicker* Yeah, too many years working at Ren Faire when I was younger.

    • Re: Go !!

      Head yanks ARE a good thing. expressed surprise this morning that I don’t flinch whenever she says “I have a question about something…” πŸ™‚

      Now that I’ve got the battle axe, maybe I can work on to let me build that trebuchet…

  4. Go !!

    It sounds like is head yanking you pretty frequently. (In my world head yanks are needed good things.) Congratulations on dealing so well with it to you and .

    And I got a battle axe! It’s great…a conversation piece, and practical, too!

    I love my battle axe. It’s a double headed Bruce Battle axe and was designed to be used on foot soldiers from atop horseback. I’ve actually used mine on a couple of occasions. In theatre a couple of the shows that I’ve worked on have called for weapons and I’ve been able to provide them. The mace, the short sword, the dagger… after the last show I claimed the headsman’s block to put against the wall underneath my axe. *snicker* Yeah, too many years working at Ren Faire when I was younger.

  5. In my opinion, the worst movie ever made was the absolutely wretched horror flick “Maximum overdrive,” whosepremise was that the gasses in a passing comet caused all the machines in the world to rise up and attack people.

    Mind you, this was not a movie that was supposed to be wretched, like Killer Klowns from Outer Space or Hell Comes to Frog Town. No, this was a mainstream, big-budget Hollywood flick, based on a story by none other than Stephen King.

    I was almost two-thirds of the way through the movie before i realized I wasn’t supposed to be laughing at it, before I realized it wasn’t intended as a parody of horror-movie cliches, that the movie expected to be taken seriously.

  6. As a symbol, it’s very powerful, but it’s also potentially destructive. From the point of view of someone coming into your relationship, it’s dfficult to want to commit to a relationship where you feel powerless, like the relationship can be yanked from under your feet without warning.

    I can see the need for veto power, and understand the security it provides; it’s only been recently that I’ve seen the hidden price of that security.

  7. As a symbol, it’s very powerful, but it’s also potentially destructive. From the point of view of someone coming into your relationship, it’s dfficult to want to commit to a relationship where you feel powerless, like the relationship can be yanked from under your feet without warning.

    I can see the need for veto power, and understand the security it provides; it’s only been recently that I’ve seen the hidden price of that security.

  8. Re: Go !!

    Head yanks ARE a good thing. expressed surprise this morning that I don’t flinch whenever she says “I have a question about something…” πŸ™‚

    Now that I’ve got the battle axe, maybe I can work on to let me build that trebuchet…

  9. bad movies?

    it’s ridiculous how many bad movies there are… I never saw either of those movies but of the ones I’ve seen I would say “Dumb and Dumber” is the worst EVER…

  10. Re: bad movies?

    While Dumb and Dumber and its kin are bad movies, I don’t think they can ever really be the worst movie ever–because they don’t try to be taken seriously. They’re bad, they know they’re bad, they don’t try to be anything but bad.

    In a sense, they are to comedy what Killer Klowns from Outer Space is tohorror. You’re supposed to laugh at the movie, not with it. They’re carefully hand-crafted from the finest aged cheese, and nobody, from the director to the producer to the key grip, takes them seriously.

    No, in order to truly be awful, a movie has to think it’s Very Serious. in this respect, Judge Dredd has it all over Dumb and Dumber. Judge Dredd tries SO hard to be a serious, Sylvester Stallone action-adventure flick that it’s painful to watch. It started out as “Rocky meets Escape from New York,” but somewhere along the way, something went horribly, horribly wrong.

    And it doesn’t even know it’s a bad movie. It’s really terribly ernest.

  11. I can agree…

    that your take on the idea that a movie that takes itself soooo seriously… and tries to be a legitimate script but obviously sucks the big one is one definition of a VERY bad movie…

    But I also happen to lack the ability to fathom WHY a director would intentionally create a deliberately stupid script, pay good money to get it put on screen and develop it to be a complete idiot’s fest…..

    So I guess we now have TWO definitions of a piss poor movie that rival each other for the fool’s prize….

    Any other definitions to add to the list?

  12. I can agree…

    that your take on the idea that a movie that takes itself soooo seriously… and tries to be a legitimate script but obviously sucks the big one is one definition of a VERY bad movie…

    But I also happen to lack the ability to fathom WHY a director would intentionally create a deliberately stupid script, pay good money to get it put on screen and develop it to be a complete idiot’s fest…..

    So I guess we now have TWO definitions of a piss poor movie that rival each other for the fool’s prize….

    Any other definitions to add to the list?

  13. I believe that being in a secondary relationship under veto puts limits on intimacy, and the amount of emotional commitment you can make without discomfort. That is what ultimately became painful for me. I think I’m absolutely capable of having a successful and happy secondary relationship under veto.. It will just mean that I always have a foot out the door – and I didn’t want to do that with Franklin. I think it is my desire to be emotionally vulnerable and intimate with him that drives my need to have things like commitment and a sense of empowerment in my relationship. I wonder if it’s even possible to comfortably have one without the other. In order for me to let go and love as much as I want to love, I need to know that there is an intention to preserve my relationship with him, and that the safety and success of my relationship with him is determined by more than just how it affects the primary relationship. It takes a lot of work and trust from everyone to open up these doors..

    Not sure what what exactly I’m responding to.. but I felt the need to respond πŸ™‚

  14. I believe that being in a secondary relationship under veto puts limits on intimacy, and the amount of emotional commitment you can make without discomfort. That is what ultimately became painful for me. I think I’m absolutely capable of having a successful and happy secondary relationship under veto.. It will just mean that I always have a foot out the door – and I didn’t want to do that with Franklin. I think it is my desire to be emotionally vulnerable and intimate with him that drives my need to have things like commitment and a sense of empowerment in my relationship. I wonder if it’s even possible to comfortably have one without the other. In order for me to let go and love as much as I want to love, I need to know that there is an intention to preserve my relationship with him, and that the safety and success of my relationship with him is determined by more than just how it affects the primary relationship. It takes a lot of work and trust from everyone to open up these doors..

    Not sure what what exactly I’m responding to.. but I felt the need to respond πŸ™‚

  15. It was really only when parity was achieved, and we both had primary partners, that the threat went away.

    I’ve spent a lot of time thinking that if I had a primary partner that none of this would be an issue. That my feelings can be contributed to being a ‘single’ person with incompatible relationship needs. However, as I watch my feelings and thoughts in this situation, I am beginning to believe that it’s not so simple for me. I don’t think that I can easily structure my relationships into primary/secondary. I think that the level of commitment I seek is determined not so much by my current relationship needs, but by the needs and potential of the relationship. And that is something that, inconveniently enough, seems to have a life of its own.

    Fascinating thoughts! Thank you for sharing.

    Thank you as well!

  16. It was really only when parity was achieved, and we both had primary partners, that the threat went away.

    I’ve spent a lot of time thinking that if I had a primary partner that none of this would be an issue. That my feelings can be contributed to being a ‘single’ person with incompatible relationship needs. However, as I watch my feelings and thoughts in this situation, I am beginning to believe that it’s not so simple for me. I don’t think that I can easily structure my relationships into primary/secondary. I think that the level of commitment I seek is determined not so much by my current relationship needs, but by the needs and potential of the relationship. And that is something that, inconveniently enough, seems to have a life of its own.

    Fascinating thoughts! Thank you for sharing.

    Thank you as well!

  17. Re: bad movies?

    Killer Clowns From Outer Space!! I talk about that movie fairly regularly, and it moistens me to see you mention it! Fucking hilarious.

  18. BATTLE AXE!!! IT’S GORGEOUS!!!

    And a very interesting discussion in the comments…definitely something for me to think about, as well. Thankya.

  19. BATTLE AXE!!! IT’S GORGEOUS!!!

    And a very interesting discussion in the comments…definitely something for me to think about, as well. Thankya.

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