Yes, I know, I know…

…I haven’t been posting anything of substance lately. Part of the problem, I think, is that it’s difficult to properly document your life when you’re up to your eyeballs in the living of it.

Better documentation is coming. In the meantime, here’s a silly throwaway test (but it must be true, the Internet says so!):

Disorder Rating
Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Low
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low

Personality Disorder Test – Take It!

Well, boys and girls, it’s Wednesday!

And do you know what that means? It means it’s time for another conservative Republican lunkhead to stand up for bigotry and prejudice!

In the spotlight today, following in the footsteps of other notable conservative Republican bigots such as Trent Lott and “Bouncing” Bobby Barr (the man who made none other than Larry Flynt say “That guy’s a pervert!”) is Republican Senator Rick Santorum.

Our buddy Rick, obviously not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree, appears to espouse a somewhat paradoxical view of the American heterosexual nuclear family–that is, that it sucks, and nobody in his right mind would choose it unless forced to.

Of course, he probably doesn’t know that’s what he’s saying. But how else can you explain his idea that condoning non-traditional relationships “ the death knell of the American family“?

Yep, that’s right, this yahoo believes that if gays get together, the American family will cease to exist. Implicit in this strange notion is the unspoken belief that people choose heterosexual monogamous families only because there is no other choice–that if we allowed other choices, then nobody would choose a heterosexual monogamous marriage, and that would be the end of the nuclear family.

Psychologists say we do tend to re-invent the world in our own image. One has to wonder if Senator Rick believes nobody would ever choose a heterosexual, monogamous marriage unless forced because he himself would…er, not choose a heterosexual, monogamous marriage.

BDSM Folks I hate

Yes, this is a rant. Read at your own risk.

I’ve been involved in both BDSM and polyamory since long before I had words to describe eaither (and, for that matter, since before the word “polyamory” even existed). I’ve been part of the organized poly community for quite a number of years, but generally speaking, I’ve tended to avoid the organized BDSM community.

Lately, I’ve been spending a lot more time in the BDSM community, and I’m beginning to remember why it is I’ve avoided it.

A friend of mine who lives, like I do, in both worlds once described a poly meeting as “Kind of likea BDSM munch, but the people are nicer.” And there’s a bit of truth to it.

This is not a diatribe against everyone in the BDSM community. I’ve met some very cool, very intelligent people in the scene, and many of these people I count among my friends.

But there are also quite a number of people I’ve encountered who are about as much fun as a toothache. To wit:

– The “7th Level Antler-Headed Yak Boy (fourth house, nineteenth tax district)” types. These are the guys (and they’re almost always men) who form elaborate societies with intricate rules and protocols, and give themselves flowery titles to boot.

There’s nothing wrong with any of that. The problem comes from the idea that once you’ve mastered someone’s list of rules, probably yanked from some old pulp science-fiction novel, that you’ve mastered the intricities of domination and submission. You haven’t; you’ve just memorized someone else’s rules. D/s is arguably one of the most complex forms of all human relationships, and it’s different for everyone–something that works for one person doesn’t apply to another. Mastering one set of protocols no more makes you an expert than mastering macaroni and cheese makes you a five-star chef.

– The pathologically insecure. These people often refer to themselves exclusively as “Master (or Mistress) Thus-and Such,” and are more than happy to describe you exactly, in great deal, how and why they’ve mastered the fine art of BDSM, and why you should be grateful to sit at their feet and pick up such crumbs of arcane knowledge they see fit to provide.

Disagree with them, even about something minor, and the entire elaborate facade built to protect their insecurities comes crashing down. You have not seen histronics until you’ve suggested to such a person that perhaps there’s some element of D/s he hasn’t considered.

Hint: Being a master is like being enlightened. If you have to tell people that you are–you aren’t.

– The Domly Doms. These guys–and again, they’re almost always guys–self-identify as alpha males; they strut, they preen, they impress one another with the size of their stables of submissives. Their submissives never stick around for long; the stables rotate, because at the end of the day, interspecies dating never works. It’s just too damn hard for a human submissive to maintain a romance with a peacock.

– The completely unsocialized. These are the ones who can make a convention of Trekkies point and say “Damn, those people have poor social skills!” Many of these guys lead one to suspect that they’re part of the community because no other community’ll have them.

Hint: I understand foot fetishes as much as the next guy, but do not walk up to me and, without introduction, ask me to take off my shoes. Especially if you don’t know my sexual orientation and you’re a guy. What’s that, you say? There’s nothing sexual about feet? Well, guess what–anything that arouses you or gets you off is an intimate act, even if, in a different context, it might be completely benign.

– The One True Wayers. These are usually the people in “TPE” (total power exchange) relationships–people who live acting out a full-time master/slave relationship, who sneer at the “players”–namely, those who don’t live their entire lives in their roles–and especially those who (oh, dear God) switch roles.

Hint: If you predicate the whole of your romantic relationship, and indeed the whole of your life, along a single axis, don’t think even for half a second that you have a deeper understanding of D/s than those whose experience is broader and whose palettes are wider. You want to live in a master/slave relationship? Hey, that’s cool, whatever turns you on. You want to think that gives you a better understanding of the right way to do it? Go sit in the back of the bus with the Baptists, the fundamentalist Muslims, and all the other yahoos who think there’s only one right way to live.

Your tax dollars at work…

…or, how to be goofy and creepy at the same time.

The Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, which in the past has funded such experimental projects as ARPAnet (an experimental computer network that was later renamed the Internet) is currently funding a project called the “Self-Healing Mine Field.”

The basic premise is this: An army lays down a field of antitank mines. The mines all communicate with each other, and have the ability to move. If someone clears a path through the minefield, the mines react by automatically rearranging themselves so the path is closed.

And you though people had trouble clearing out minefields left behind from long-forgotten wars now.

There’s a Flash animation about the project that you have to see to believe here.

Things disconcerting

Something bad is happening in my neighborhood. There were police cars parked in front of my neighbor’s door all evening, and now the crime scene unit is there as well.

Shelly is learning to florentine–use a flogger in each hand. She’s gotten quite good in a very short time. She’s practiced on kellyv and I… as well as on a number of pillows that, as near as I can tell, committed no offense save for being in the wrong (right?) place at the wrong time.

Had an argument with someone at PolyTampa last weekend. He maintains that love does not expose one to vulnerability, and there is no way to be “hurt” by love–it’s only the loss of someone you see as property that’s painful.

I don’t buy it for even half a second. Indeed, on my less charitable days I’m inclined to think that anyone who believes love and intimacy do not go hand-in-hand with vulnerability has never been in love.

Sometimes, love exposes you to a great deal of pain. Sometimes, it hurts like hell to lose someone you love.

I haven’t been having a good week.

Operation Parched Badger

Ever wonder how the US military comes up with names for its military escepades (eg, “Operation Desert Storm,” “Operation Infallible Squirrel”)? Well, boys and girls, the answer is right here!

Yes, now you, too, can come up with names for military operations that are just as exciting as those used by the Pentagon, from the comfort of your own home! Be the first on your block to launch Operation Ravenous Tree Frog against your next-door neighbor!

Good news, bad news kind of day

The bad news

It looks like I’m going to have to make a trip to New York City for one of my clients shortly. I’ll be installing high-end prepress software and training on its use. Most likely, I’ll be in NYC for about three days or so.

The good news

I quoted my client a thousand dollars a day for the job.

Anyone know anything intersting to do in NYC?

The boulder, she is moving…

Quotes Out of Context

Her: “I’m a slightly insane, demonic Jiminy Cricket.


In the last few weeks, lordfuckbeast and I have heard from several distributors wanting to carry Symphony and Onyx, and one person who’s talking about providing venture capital for us. Sales are really picking up, too.

This is mostly good news. The bad news is that if we keep selling Symphony units, we’re going to be forced to go with a mass-production system, which is expensive; as it stands right now, each one is assembled by hand. But the good news about the bad news is that if we are selling so many that we need to mass-produce them, the money shouldn’t be a problem.


kellyv, Shelly, and I are planning to head to the BDSM play party in St. Petersburg this Saturday evening. We’ve also been invited to a play party in Ft. Myers in two weeks, which looks like it’ll be a blast. I can’t wait… 🙂

No Fun

Yesterday was spent sitting in an auditorium in the Hillsborough County Courthouse. I got called for jury duty. I don’t know why they even bother calling me; they’ll never let me sit on a jury. It’s always the same thing:

“Mr. Veaux, what do you do for a living?”
“I’m a computer programmer, and…”
“Thank you, Mr. Veaux, you’re excused.”

This time, they didn’t even call me for a panel; I just spent the entire day sitting around. I brought my laptop with me, and started working on a substantial overhaul of my Web site, which will be online fairly shortly, so it wasn’t a total wash, but…