My wife’s parents are coming into town today; they’ll be staying with us for about a week. We’ve spent the last week trying to “parent-proof” the house–hiding the floggers, taking the handcuffs off of the bed, tucking away all the ropes…
But there’s one place I’m not going to budge, and that’s my photography. I have several examples of my photography up on the wall. The inlaws don’t appreciate it, but it is not coming down.
Goddamnit, it’s my house! If they don’t like my art, fine, but I refuse to try to pretend that it does not exist. I will not redecorate my entire house on the fear that my tastes may offend someone’s sensibilities.
My wife thinks I’m being unreasonable. I think it’s unreasonable to reorder your life to suit someone else’s tastes.
I wouldn’t take it down either. And I’d actually be hard put to put away the floggers. (course, my parents are a little bit of a different flavor than Kelly’s) And for Gary’s mom..heh, I’d prolly drag things out that are usually in hiding. HEH!
Yeah, but given a choice between hiding the floggers and having a miserable relationship with your spouse’s parents (and by extension, with your spouse), you might reconsider…
Grins, yesh, I’m sure Gary wouldn’t appreciate that. I’d still *want* to though. And ya know, even if Gary’s mom and I had an awful relationship it prolly wouldn’t affect ours too much. You already know Gary’s feelings on all that. For the time being.. we’ll just stay in our seperate cornerss..heh.
I wouldn’t take it down either. And I’d actually be hard put to put away the floggers. (course, my parents are a little bit of a different flavor than Kelly’s) And for Gary’s mom..heh, I’d prolly drag things out that are usually in hiding. HEH!
One could argue that if you’re going to be “honest” about who you are, there’s no more reason to hide the cuffs and floggers than there is to hide the “artwork.” I see it as — the artwork (photography) is a matter of aesthetic taste, and you’re entitled to it. The floggers/cuffs you are also entitled to. . . but sexuality (especially the kink kind) is a very personalized hot button. It’s an act of civilized kindness not to force someone to be squicked in the name of honesty. (And, for my part, the less details my mom knows about my sexual practices the less she’s in my head shaking her finger at me while I’m practicing them! It’s crowded enough in there already!)
Yeh, I’m with you. If you’re in my house, you’re my guest and YOU have to be the polite one who puts up with things that may not be the way you arrange them in your own house. And becasue you’re my guest, I’ll meet ya halfway and not go stark nakkid to the breakfast table.
btw — very lovely photography. Who’s the gorgeous woman with the looong hair and legs?
I agree with you about the honesty; and in fact I am open and honest with anyone I am close to.
The inlaws are a special case. I’m not particularly close to them (in fact, we have a pretty good mutual antipathy going); I don’t like who they are as people; and tey know very little about me and like even less. They’re highly conservative,a nd live in a very narrow world; if that’s what they want, so be it, but I won’t be part of it.
I like the “I’ll meet ya halfway and not go stark nakkid to the breakfast table.” I think it’s reasonable to hide the toys when they’re around, but it’s not reasonable to redecorate.
Thanks for the comment, by the way! Which woman are you talking about, her?
not her. Unless she’s the one kneeling with the tattoo on her leg and just doesn’t look like it. 🙂 The brown-haired beauty.
You mean her?
My friend Becky. She’s an interesting chick. Another image of her:
I agree, these are great. She’s a wonderful model, very beautiful. Did you take the pictures?
Yes. I’ve actually done quite a bit of work with her, over a period of a couple of years.
Thanks!
*swoons* *falls over*
those are incredible photos…
Thanks! 🙂
One could argue that if you’re going to be “honest” about who you are, there’s no more reason to hide the cuffs and floggers than there is to hide the “artwork.” I see it as — the artwork (photography) is a matter of aesthetic taste, and you’re entitled to it. The floggers/cuffs you are also entitled to. . . but sexuality (especially the kink kind) is a very personalized hot button. It’s an act of civilized kindness not to force someone to be squicked in the name of honesty. (And, for my part, the less details my mom knows about my sexual practices the less she’s in my head shaking her finger at me while I’m practicing them! It’s crowded enough in there already!)
Yeh, I’m with you. If you’re in my house, you’re my guest and YOU have to be the polite one who puts up with things that may not be the way you arrange them in your own house. And becasue you’re my guest, I’ll meet ya halfway and not go stark nakkid to the breakfast table.
btw — very lovely photography. Who’s the gorgeous woman with the looong hair and legs?
I agree with you about the honesty; and in fact I am open and honest with anyone I am close to.
The inlaws are a special case. I’m not particularly close to them (in fact, we have a pretty good mutual antipathy going); I don’t like who they are as people; and tey know very little about me and like even less. They’re highly conservative,a nd live in a very narrow world; if that’s what they want, so be it, but I won’t be part of it.
I like the “I’ll meet ya halfway and not go stark nakkid to the breakfast table.” I think it’s reasonable to hide the toys when they’re around, but it’s not reasonable to redecorate.
Thanks for the comment, by the way! Which woman are you talking about, her?
Yeah, but given a choice between hiding the floggers and having a miserable relationship with your spouse’s parents (and by extension, with your spouse), you might reconsider…
Grins, yesh, I’m sure Gary wouldn’t appreciate that. I’d still *want* to though. And ya know, even if Gary’s mom and I had an awful relationship it prolly wouldn’t affect ours too much. You already know Gary’s feelings on all that. For the time being.. we’ll just stay in our seperate cornerss..heh.
not her. Unless she’s the one kneeling with the tattoo on her leg and just doesn’t look like it. 🙂 The brown-haired beauty.
You mean her?
My friend Becky. She’s an interesting chick. Another image of her:
I agree, these are great. She’s a wonderful model, very beautiful. Did you take the pictures?
Yes. I’ve actually done quite a bit of work with her, over a period of a couple of years.
Thanks!
(saw your work on “erotic visions”, followed the link…
I completely understand about “vanilla-izing” the house for the inlaw visit!
Its a fine line though. I can see not wanted to hide your art…why should you be ashamed of it?
Are you sure they are offended?
The other acoutrements…I put those in the category of personal, I feel okay putting those away.
“Are you sure they are offended?”
Oh, yes. In fact, the first time they ever saw my photography, my mother-in-law yelled at my wife about it… “Some of these pictures are very racy. I don’t think you should have them hanging on your wall. Very degrading to women.”
In fact, that’s been a common theme with my mother-in-law. She says the same thing about Xero, the magazine I co-edit: “Very degrading to women.”
This time around, she at least had the courtesy not to say anything about the photos; I think she realized that battle had already been fought and lost.
Its interesting. In my previous vanilla life, I almost fell over at the idea that erotic photos — in fact, all kinds of sexual activity– could be empowering to women.
Clearly, your MIL falls in the other feminist camp. She doesnt understand how empowering it can be to take hold of your own sexuality.
Somehow I dont think you’ll be the one signing up to enlighten her *g*
Actually, I don’t think she really falls into any femenist camp, considering that she still believes that sex is “something you’re not supposed to like, but you have to do it anyway to make your husband happy.”
Her default reaction to anything she doesn’t like seems to be “That’s degrading to women.” We were watching TV, she saw an ad for WWF wrestling and said “Wrestling is degrading to women.”
I swear I am not making this up.
As for the alternate approach to sexuality–the one that holds that a woman can be empowered by controlling her own sexuality–I wrote a rather long essay on the subject once, because I got tired of people beating me up about my art. 🙂
(saw your work on “erotic visions”, followed the link…
I completely understand about “vanilla-izing” the house for the inlaw visit!
Its a fine line though. I can see not wanted to hide your art…why should you be ashamed of it?
Are you sure they are offended?
The other acoutrements…I put those in the category of personal, I feel okay putting those away.
“Are you sure they are offended?”
Oh, yes. In fact, the first time they ever saw my photography, my mother-in-law yelled at my wife about it… “Some of these pictures are very racy. I don’t think you should have them hanging on your wall. Very degrading to women.”
In fact, that’s been a common theme with my mother-in-law. She says the same thing about Xero, the magazine I co-edit: “Very degrading to women.”
This time around, she at least had the courtesy not to say anything about the photos; I think she realized that battle had already been fought and lost.
Its interesting. In my previous vanilla life, I almost fell over at the idea that erotic photos — in fact, all kinds of sexual activity– could be empowering to women.
Clearly, your MIL falls in the other feminist camp. She doesnt understand how empowering it can be to take hold of your own sexuality.
Somehow I dont think you’ll be the one signing up to enlighten her *g*
*swoons* *falls over*
those are incredible photos…
Thanks! 🙂
Actually, I don’t think she really falls into any femenist camp, considering that she still believes that sex is “something you’re not supposed to like, but you have to do it anyway to make your husband happy.”
Her default reaction to anything she doesn’t like seems to be “That’s degrading to women.” We were watching TV, she saw an ad for WWF wrestling and said “Wrestling is degrading to women.”
I swear I am not making this up.
As for the alternate approach to sexuality–the one that holds that a woman can be empowered by controlling her own sexuality–I wrote a rather long essay on the subject once, because I got tired of people beating me up about my art. 🙂