War, war, waaaaar in Iraq…and daddy wants a new computer!

So far, the United States has spent a grand total of approximately $139,744,240,000 on the war in Iraq, not counting indirect costs or human lives.

*blink*

That’s roughly $474 for every man, woman, and child in the United States. You know, I could kind of use that money right now.

Or, put another way, that is:

– Enough money to build 69 space stations, with sufficient money left over to double the size of the Space Shuttle fleet;
– Enough money to give full college scholarships to 3,493,606 college students;
– Enough money to multiply the Federally-funded programs on AIDS and cancer research by 46 times, with enough left over to double the amount of health insurance subsidies available to low-income citizens;
– Enough to multiply Federal law enforcement and anti-terrorism budgets by a factor of five, with enough left over to double the number of guaranteed student loans;
– Enough money to increase the budget for national parks and wildlife preserves by two hundred and sixteen times;
– Enough money to rebuild every single interstate and US highway in the entire country, with enough left over to pay the salaries of 305,690 new police officers (at salaries two percent higher than the national average);
– Enough money to give every single schoolteacher in the country a $22,000 a year raise;
– Enough money to multiply the total national budget for education by two times, with enough money left over to double the budget for the EPA and double the budget for the National Science Foundation and pay for another Space Shuttle and triple the senior citizen prescription drug benefit;
– Enough money to clean up every single Superfund environmental site, with enough left over to double the Veteran’s Administration fund and wire every public school and library to the Internet.

I wonder if the war on Iraq represents the best value for that money.

Aaargh! The grammar nazi rants…

Okay, people, listen up–the next time I read something in LiveJournal, on a newsgroup, or in an email that makes one of these mistakes, someone’s getting stabbed. Fair warning.

1. It’s “Lo and behold,” not “low and behold.” The word “lo!” is a Middle English expression of surprise. “Lo and behold” is kind of the equivalent of saying “Well, hey, look at that!”

2. It’s “Nothing fazes me,” not “nothing phases me.” To “faze” is to disturb or frighten. “She was unfazed” means “she retained her composure.” “He was unphased” means “he was not made of a number of waveforms that were in synchronization.” Big difference, folks.

3. It’s “etc,” not “ect.” “Etc” is an abbreviation for “et cetera” (two words), which is Latin for “and so forth.” “Et” means “and,” which is why “etc” is sometimes written “&c”. “Etc” is correct. “&c” is correct but archaic. “Ect” is not, never has been, and never will be correct.

4. The abbreviations “ie” and “eg” do not mean the same thing! You use “ie” when you mean “in orther words.” It’s Latin for “id est,” which means “that is.” For example: “He is a businessman; ie, he makes his money by operating a business.” On the other hand, “eg” is used to mean “for example.” It’s Latin for “exempli gratia.” “I do not like spectator sports–eg, football and baseball.” For example: eg. In other words: ie.

5. And while we’re at it, “insure” and “ensure” do not mean the same thing either! “Ensure” means “to make sure of.” Double-check your math on your tax return to ensure you don’t get an embarrassing phone call from the IRS. “Insure,” on the other hand, means “to provide insurance for,” you insure your house in order to ensure that you won’t be financially ruined if it burns down.

6. To be caught “between the devil and the deep blue sea” does not mean “between two unattractive options.” It means “to be in a position where you have no room to manuver.” The ‘devil’ on a wooden sailing ship is the main spar of the ship–a brace that runs the whole length of the ship from front to back, around which the frame of the ship is built. There is a very narrow space–typically less than 3′ high–between a ship’s devil and the bottom of the hull; this was sometimes the space where the most lowly members of a ship’s crew slept–“between the devil and the deep blue sea.” It’s a very, very tiny space.

7. “Too” means “also” or “to a great extent.” “To” means “in the direction of” or indicates an infinitive. Get these two wrong, and you might end up in the position of the unfortunate street racer I saw yesterday whose vanity license tag reads “TO L8 4U”. “2 L8 4U” or “TOO L8 4U” would’ve communicated the idea that he was trying to convey; the idea conveyed by “TO L8 4U” is “Hi! I’m illiterate.”

Don’t even get me started on “accept” and “except,” or “affect” and “effect.”

Any typos in this post are a feature, not a bug. We now return you to your regularly scheduled friends list.

Oh, so THAT’S the problem…

So I’m up beating my head against my Linux box, which I’ve been struggling with all evening. I have Samba and atalkd installed, but I can’t reach it from the Macs or the PCs in the house–can’t can’t can’t. i can see it, but I can’t log on…

I was heading to bed, about to concede defeat after four hours’ bloody struggle, when i had a flash of inspiration. Maybe I couldn’t log in because the …firewall …was …preventing …network …access?

Checked the firewall settings. The AFP and SMB ports were open. Nope, that’s not it…

…but what the hell, I’ll disable the firewall completely and see what happens.

Bingo.

Goddamn goddamn goddamn. Seems like when you tell Fedora Core 2 to open ports in the firewall, it doesn’t actually open the ports, it only says it does. (Err, mostly–it really did open the http and ssh ports, wtf?)

Well, there’s four hours of my life I’ll never have back. Fuck Linux in the ear with a jagged metal dildo, anyway. At least with Windows, you expect it not to work.

So anyway, it’s working, and I’m off to bed, with a weird sort of smug self-satisfaction at solving a problem I shouldn’t have had to solve in the first place.

Oh, and by the way… Apparently, I’m a strange attractor, whatever that means

Gaaaah! And geeky fun stuff

First, the Gaaaah! Updated my Red Hat 9 system to Fedora Core 2 a couple nights ago. It works, buuuuuuut…..

…it won’t start X if I boot from the newest Fedora kernel. It says it can’t locate the mouse–even when I use a generic PS/2 mouse, a USB mouse, and a serial mouse. The mouse is configured right (I’ve run the configuration several times), and the mouse works fine in console mode. It also works fine when I boot using the earlier kernel from the RedHat 9 install. The X error log complains it can’t open /dev/psaux, even though the correct file is in /dev. Anyone know what gives?

And the geeky fun stuff: An archived screen capture of Google’s main search engine page, circa 1960.

Several disjointed random musings

Things that make you go “Hmmm”

Client: I don’t like these Apple optical mice.
Me: Why not? What don’t you like about them?
Client: This will be the second time I’ve had to replace my mouse.
Me: Really? What’s wrong with it?
Client: There’s a rat somewhere in my garage. It keeps eating the cord.

God bless Florida building contractors

I may have a job for a client running telephone and/or cable TV cables through his house. Brand-new 4,400-square-foot, half-million-dollar place and the contractor…

…forgot to run the cable for phone and television…

…and doesn’t want to pay for it. Unfreakingreal.

And in good news…

…we signed the lease on the new apartment today! It’s a gorgeous 3-bedroom loft, with a beautiful space in the loft area for setting up the bondage equipment. It’d make a wonderful place for hosting small, intimate play parties. I can hardly wait to move in.

Steve, Steve, Steve…

My word, nothing good ever comes of crossing His Steveness, Mr. Steve “I’m brilliant and charming and charismatic but also kind of psycho” Jobs, does it?

IDG, which hosts MacWorld, moved MacWorld from New York to Boston this year. His Steveness doesn’t like Boston, and threatened to pull Apple out of MacWorld. IDG called his bluff…

…’cept it wasn’t a bluff. Apple pulled out of MacWorld Boston.

And so did almost every other major vendor, once everyone heard that Apple wasn’t going to be there. It was slightly surreal; there were, like, 5 people there. (By way of comparison, MacWorld San Francisco normally fills Moscone Convention Center, and the last MacWorld in Boston, in 1992, completely filled both of Boston’s convention centers.)

Here’s a pic of the exhibit floor:

That’s it. That’s the whole thing. You could cover it in ten minutes.

Fortunately, a friend of mine hooked Shelly and I up with free conference passes, else I would have been right pissed about paying money for such a dismal thing.

IDG cried “uncle” and is moving back to New York.

Pity, too–I was hoping Apple would make a formal announcement about the G5 iMac.

Shut up! Bloody vikings!

Record Broken: 82% of U.S. Email is Spam

Outdoing most analysts’ worst predictions, spam accounted for 82 percent of all U.S. email last month.

After a two-month drop in spam, the number of unsolicited bulk email skyrocketed in April, bringing the saturation number up to record levels here in the U.S. and across the world, according to MessageLabs, Inc., a security company based in New York. […]

Of that 82%, I think at least 75% of it landed in my email box. This shit is obnoxious.

For the record, I do not want a bigger penis, larger breasts, a new home mortgage, a copy of Windows XP for $49, or a vacation in Orlando. I will not give anyone my bank account number so they can transfer $28,000,000 from Nigeria, watch Michelle have wild sex with barnyard animals on her secret dorm-room Webcam, or invest in a fertilizer company’s stok at 16 cents a share. I do not have a timeshare for sale, I do not need any Vicodin, and I am not looking for a new partner at Matchup.com.

Last time I checked, “eifsTuFy7mUuWbDz” was not a word, and if you’re going to try to sell something to me with such enticing offers as “Friend, twisting from my embrace compressor up and doing!” you may want to rethink your approach.

Call me whacky, I do not see how giving six anonymous strangers $5 each today is going to get me $17,000 tomorrow. My employer is perfectly happy even though I have no college degree; I am, you see, the owner of the business. I do not want to “Submit to the Natural-Born Bitch, the Princess of Fetish,” but thanks for asking! I do not want to “spatterdrop rap” my “ema1l campa1gn.” I doubt an email entitled “acrylic mango open” is going to help me “cl1mb the ladder to s.u.c.c.e.s.s.”

I do not care what Paris Hilton’s boyfriend used, which herbs are more efficient than via-gra, or what the Survivor cast did when the cameras were off. I was not born yesterday, and I am not going to give you my credit card number, my eBay password, or my ATM PIN number, even if you insist that I will lose my banking privileges, my Internet access, or my firstborn son if I don’t, mkay?

I do not speak Russian, Japanese, Chinese, or Korean, so assume that I’m a lost sale if your message is not even English.

I do not need to spy on all my friends–I have, you see, chosen friends I can trust. I do not want a copy of your Banned CD filled with Amazing Hacker Secrets–I was a hacker before you were even born. I do not need your low-carb diet, your South Beach diet, your herbal diet supplements, your amazing Sudanese dieting secrets, your amazing Chinese dieting secrets, or your amazing body-wrap secrets–I’m skinny enough already, thanks.

I do not want in on the ground floor of your real-estate scheme, your online marketing scheme, or your PayPal pyramid scheme. I do not want high-quality Rolex watches at unbelievably low prices.

I do not need to “fermat haystack enthusiastic sixtieth grasp constraint calamitous garish schroedinger lesotho excess chaplin doubt” my “exact digit aptitude electro cinch bawdy gin hebephrenic pancake fulton myrrh firearm galloway beer blasphemy passenger defecate phantom choir girlish murky anorthosite”–there’s far too much fermat haystacking going on of exact digital aptitudes in this country as it is! (That’s what’s wrong with this world today–too many people don’t respect exact digit aptitudes as God made them.)

So enough already!