No, wait, scratch that, reverse it.

The party is now officially only five days away, and I’m still not ready. The robot gun emplacements are not finished yet, I haven’t even started on the biometric sensors, the cake still needs to be made, I have to find better speakers for the music system, I can’t find the power supply for the gene sequencer anywhere, the nanoassembly tank isn’t even close to being finished, and I don’t have a blasted thing to wear.

Aaaaarrrggghhhh! Planning a birthday party is a lot of work.

I think I can get the robot guns installed this evening, and the power supply’s got to be in the closet somewhere, but there’s still a lot to do.

I was rather surprised by the number of people answering my last poll who thought that replacement mechanical bodies are sucky rather than cool. Perhaps it’s my perception of the Void, or perhaps it’s my attitude about change, but I’ve always thought that was a gimmee–a better, immortal, mechanical version of my body? Yes, please…where do I sign?

Then again, there’s almost nothing I would not do for immortality. This is not necessarily because I do not believe in an afterlife (I don’t, really, though I won’t say I know for sure one way or the other)–but there is little doubt in my mind that if there’s an afterlife, it’s nothing like this one, and I’m not done with this one yet. There are still way too many things to see, do, learn, and experience. The afterlife can wait, preferrably until the heat death of the universe.

Which, on a scale of eternity, isn’t really all that far away.

So, out of curiousity, two polls. The first: What would you do for immortality? The second: How attached are you to your body?

Ready, kids? Here we go:

And, somewhat but not entirely related:

There are times when one is tempted to throw up one’s hands in disgust, grab the gun, and head for the clock tower.

A couple days ago, Shelly and I set out to install three new computers for a client–two in the office and one at home. The job was supposed to be simple–set up the new machines, copy the data from the old machines tothe new machines (which a handy program called PC Relocator makes simple), and we’re done.

The office went fine. But at home…

The client’s home machine is used for Limewire and Kaaza. It had over 105,000 files on it–including over 10,000 files in various temporary folders. It also had a total of 36 Trojans and worms on it, including variants on 6 different virus families, and a total of 115 pieces of spyware.

Ye gods.

We were working on the machine until midnight just cleaning it up to make the move.

I’ve installed a hardware firewall between the new machine and the Net, and cautioned the client about the perils of downloading anything from email.

I’d love to meet these virus authors in person some day. Just five minutes and a baseball bat, oh Lord, just five minutes and a baseball bat…

Had a dream last night that I was sitting on a park bench in some vaguely Disney-esque theme park, cuddling with ladytabitha.

Geez. I hope I’m not developing a crush on someone who lives a thousand miles away.

“Is This Cool, or Does This Suck?”

The rules are very simple: For each element in this list, you are to do one thing–answer the question “Is this cool, or does this suck?” Ready? Let’s get started!

Poll

…and rapidly running out of time. Working like crazy trying to get everything set up, but I don’t even know if the computer-controlled, auto-targeting smart gun will be finished in two weeks, and without it, keeping order is going to be much more difficult…

Many pictures of the preparations to date are behind this cut Perfectly work-safe

Ill Will Press Cartoon Vault. Goth chicks and talking squirrels with bad attitudes. Flash, with sound, PG-13.

It would be very easy to keep ranting about my client’s refusal to pay for a job that consumed a good chunk of the last week, but this is not that post.

Instead, this is the long-delayed sunyata__‘s Housewarming Party Post.

It always starts so innocently…

kellyv, anklesnake and I arrived to find a gaggle of people already there, many of them chuckling over a Chick tract, which is always a good sign.

Met quite a number of people, including foxmagic, allroads, the altogether too cute raptorgirl, the frighteningly Angelina Jolie-esque enoelie, and the very cool, geeky, hyperkinetic, devastatingly intelligent, and much too fun for her own good ladytabitha, who I’m giving serious thought to kidnapping and keeping in my closet.

As a matter of fact, that sounds like a really good idea…

Ahem. Anyway, we had a blast. I’m working very hard on getting sunyata__ to come to the party, since her birthday is the 20th, and the only thing more fun than a dystopian birthday party celebrating mankind’s horrible end is a dystopian double birthday party celebrating mankind’s horrible end.

It’s seven minutes til midnight…what are your plans?

The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists Doomsday Clock, the indicator of how close we stand to the brink of nuclear Armageddon, currently stands at seven minutes to midnight, thanks in no small part to our gay-bashing, bomb-dropping, budget-bankrupting excuse for a president‘s complete failure in the diplomatic arena.

anklesnake and I want to set up a pr0n Web site.

These two things are related, to each other and to the housewarming party–hang on, I’m getting to that.

We’ve been searcing for a domain name for the pr0n site, and striking out…all the cool ones are taken, or so it seems.

During the party, anklesnake had a flash of insight, and I registered the domain name right there at the party.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you doomsdaysex.com. Nothing but a placeholder there now, but we’ll be moving in soon.

And now…

…I’m getting ready to go out clubbing with anklesnake, my archnemesis, and friends. It’s 7 minutes til midnight, and I don’t plan to spend it at home!

O grim gods of battle, empower us this night
Annoint us with the Crimson Rain
Let every blow be a killing blow
Grant us victory.. or a Warrior’s Death.

I had planned to make a LiveJournal post about sunyata__‘s weekend housewarming party, which was a blast.

This is not that post.

I haven’t made that post because I’ve been working like a madman on a rush project for a new client. In fact, I’ve been staying up until 1AM working on the project, a PowerPoint presentation for a company called MGT Corporation, which makes wheelchair assist devices.

The project, which would normally take about three weeks cto complete, had a four-day lead time. I got it done, with hours to spare, and the client…

…hated it and doesn’t want to pay for it.

Grr.

To say I’m disappointed would be a disservice to Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg. I’m as angry as a great big angry thing.

The post about sunyata__‘s party (which will be a lot more interesting than this one and includes ladytabitha) will have to wait.