An update to the Map of Non-Monogamy

Way, waaaaaay back in 2010, I created a Venn diagram (well, if you can still call something a Venn diagram when it has dozens of bits that intersect in some pretty mind-bending ways) of the variations of non-monogamy I’ve observed.

The Map of Non-Monogamy ended up all over the Internet. I’ve seen it in Fetlife, presented at academic lectures, and I know of at least one Masters thesis that includes it.

Now, after seven long years, I’ve finally done an update, significantly redesigning it and adding relationship anarchy and solo polyamory. Here, in all its glory, is the newly redesigned Map of Non-Monogamy. The preview here is teensy, so you can click on it to embiggen.

I’ve redesigned the new map as a (big!) 24×36-inch poster. So what say you, O Internet? If I spend a lot of money to have them printed (printing posters that big ain’t cheap!), would you buy one?

[edited to add] You can now pre-order the poster! It will ship in late January or early February. Preorders are $15 for one poster or $100 for ten. Pre-order a poster here!

42 thoughts on “An update to the Map of Non-Monogamy

  1. Psst, a suggestion: If you’re asking whether folks would buy a thing, some sort of ballpark figure for cost is probably more useful information than ‘not cheap’! 😉

    Still betting that folks will buy, though. x

  2. Good job on putting RA and SoloPoly in the diagram. Given that Hefner handed out “allowances” to his harem it should probably also be in the commercial area.

  3. Thank you for updating this! I’m still waiting for the day that the poly/mono section has an overlap with the polyfidelity section. If/when that happens, I’d definitely think about buying one. This is still by far the best out there, even without that though!

  4. After nine years, you still kept, “I’m bisexual, so I have one of each?” Have you really ignored the swarm of input you got the last time about how that promotes stereotyping? And there are also more than two genders, so how many people is this hypothetical bisexual dating? Even changing it to pansexual would still perpetrate the claim that folks in the bi spectrum are only happy when we’re poly, which is not true. Please stop promoting that lie.

    • The Map is intended to be descriptive, not prescriptive. The fact is, I’ve met a lot of folks who say exactly this; while there are more than two genders, the fact is, you don’t have to look far to find folks who do indeed say “I’m bi so I have one of each.”

      • I was thinking the same thing. This is exactly why lesbians don’t hook up with bisexuals. They think we’re incapable of monogamy. One of each in serial monogamy, not necessarily at the same time.

  5. I really like the idea of that map a lot and I love that you included so many different categories. Unfortunately, there are several areas where there is so much color overlap that I cannot manage to identify the borders of the categories. Although probably not as beautiful, but a lot easier to process would be a simple table. You could put the (potentially overlapping) categories in the columns, and the various cases the overlaps are building in the rows. For every case, you could check for the applying categories. So e.g. for “My boyfriend digs that I am an escort” you could check the applying categories “Commerce” and “Open Relationships” and leave all the other categories unchecked. Maybe you want to add such a table? I cannot do it myself, as I really can’t identify the categories and overlaps in various areas of the map. It could prove a valuable addition to your map.

  6. There a quite a few print on demand services like Redbubble that allow offering posters (and tshirts, mugs etc) without having to buy a whole box full. Worth considering.

  7. Solo poly should meet more people… and I think they do.
    I mean, they don’t meet only anarchopeople and poly people only, don’t they ? I know, solos are a part of both groups so they do as much à their groups does. But I had a moment of doubt there.

  8. Hi! Can I buy a few posters?
    Or, if they are sold out already can I convert it to vector form and print by myself? Cause it is really a good job, I can pay you for it, even in self-printing case.

  9. I’m not quite sure where to put my pin on the diagram. I’d say I’m in an open relationship. I have a partner who I live with. I have two girlfriends. My partner has a boyfriend. We are allowed to love our girl/boyfriends. One night stands are allowed, but we don’t do those. My current girlfriends happen to be subs, but some of the earlier ones haven’t.

    Also, I don’t understand why bdsm play is included. It’s a sexual practise, not a type of relationship. Including D/s makes sense.

  10. Hi Frank! I’ve been using your old map in teaching about polyamory. I believe I asked for and was given permission for this teaching use several years ago. I am now a PhD student and instructor of record at a university (Yeah!) and would like to a) use the new map in my lecture on family (I teach sociology) and b) I would *LOVE* to have a copy of the poster if there are any left. Email me?

  11. Pingback: Non Monogamy - Opening Up - Exploring Different Relationship Models

  12. You can’t call it a Venn diagram; a Venn diagram, by definition, has to have every combination of overlaps (2^n of them) represented.

    This would be called an “Euler diagram.”

  13. Hello! It’s October 2023- is there any way I could still get a poster? I work for a community org and need to teach this to my case managers.

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