Still more on the Map of Non-Monogamy

[Edit]: Can’t get enough non-monogamy? Check out the book!

The Map of Non-Monogamy I’ve posted on my journal already keeps generating a ton of email, and I’ve realized that there is still another category of non-monogamous sexual behavior missing from it.

So, here it is yet again, in what is hopefully the final revision (ha!). The Map has gotten quite a lot more complicated, and I’ve added a number of new examples and clarified some of the old ones. I’ve also added borders around the various overlapping sections to make them easier to see. Oh, and polyamory intersects with swinging now–it was supposed to from the beginning, and I’m not quite sure why it didn’t.

I’m still getting quite a bit of email about the Map, so for the record: Yes, you can re-post or re-blog it provided you give credit and a return link. A couple of folks have emailed asking for permission to translate it into different languages. Same thing; feel free to do so provided you give credit and a return link.

If you translate it or blog about it and you’d like me to link to your translation or article, let me know! I’m also planning, eventually, to add a Sexual Informatics section to the Xeromag.com Web site, which will have this and all the other sexual informatics charts and maps I’ve done, probably in a more interactive format.

As before, click on the picture to see a much, much larger version.

104 thoughts on “Still more on the Map of Non-Monogamy

  1. ok- I have a challenge for you- How would you fit mine & Bu’s relationship on your chart?
    He’s an asexual, bi-poly geek. I was monogamous before him but I started dating him & as friend of hids at the same time.
    Now? we have livedtogether for 8 years & I ‘m mostly the only one who goes outside four relstionship with his encopuragement.
    I am willing to do casual sex but only if I feel like I know the person…. once, likew 3 or 4 yesrs ago? I got to watvch him have goodbye sex with an old boyfriend (we have an arrabngement that I get to watch when he’s with a man)
    so….. how would you categporize this? by the way- he gets to meet any & everyopne I ever play with bdsm wise….

  2. ok- I have a challenge for you- How would you fit mine & Bu’s relationship on your chart?
    He’s an asexual, bi-poly geek. I was monogamous before him but I started dating him & as friend of hids at the same time.
    Now? we have livedtogether for 8 years & I ‘m mostly the only one who goes outside four relstionship with his encopuragement.
    I am willing to do casual sex but only if I feel like I know the person…. once, likew 3 or 4 yesrs ago? I got to watvch him have goodbye sex with an old boyfriend (we have an arrabngement that I get to watch when he’s with a man)
    so….. how would you categporize this? by the way- he gets to meet any & everyopne I ever play with bdsm wise….

  3. Not A Map of “Human Sexuality”

    You left out almost all forms of sexual orientation. This is a map of Human Sexual “Relational Structures,” many of which could be applied to non-heterosexuals. However, your verbal examples decry any attention to non-heteros (except for the bi/gay husband who secretly goes to bathhouses, and the bi/gay women in relationships with men, which is merely another male hetero delight). So, it’s a great chart. It’s just not what you say it is. It’s more limited than your title and description suggest. So, why not just re-title and re-describe it?

    • Re: Not A Map of “Human Sexuality”

      (To Tacit: Sorry for bumbling onto your livejournal! I usually disapprove of hit and run commenting, but made an exception in this case =P))

      I personally find it interesting that yes, many/most of the examples on this map can be applied to non-heteros, and nothing in the verbal description implies heterosexuality, that’s just how you’ve interpreted it. Talking about ‘my girlfriend’ does not imply I am male, nor does “My boyfriend digs that I’m an escort” imply the speaker is female =P

      So yes, you have projected heterosexuality where there needn’t be any, and, of course, the map was never supposed to be a map of sexuality to begin with =)

  4. Not A Map of “Human Sexuality”

    You left out almost all forms of sexual orientation. This is a map of Human Sexual “Relational Structures,” many of which could be applied to non-heterosexuals. However, your verbal examples decry any attention to non-heteros (except for the bi/gay husband who secretly goes to bathhouses, and the bi/gay women in relationships with men, which is merely another male hetero delight). So, it’s a great chart. It’s just not what you say it is. It’s more limited than your title and description suggest. So, why not just re-title and re-describe it?

  5. Re: Not A Map of “Human Sexuality”

    (To Tacit: Sorry for bumbling onto your livejournal! I usually disapprove of hit and run commenting, but made an exception in this case =P))

    I personally find it interesting that yes, many/most of the examples on this map can be applied to non-heteros, and nothing in the verbal description implies heterosexuality, that’s just how you’ve interpreted it. Talking about ‘my girlfriend’ does not imply I am male, nor does “My boyfriend digs that I’m an escort” imply the speaker is female =P

    So yes, you have projected heterosexuality where there needn’t be any, and, of course, the map was never supposed to be a map of sexuality to begin with =)

  6. From having talked to sex workers, and being one myself, ‘my boyfriend digs that I’m an escort’ could probably do with being expanded a bit.

    I’m in the ‘my boyfriend (husband, actually) digs that I’m an escort’ catagory, and we also both have casual partners and are into threesomes (and potentially moresomes if the opportunity arises), we’re in theory open to pretty much any forms of sex with other partners of any sex and/or gendedr as long as there’s no other romantic involvements.

    That’s not actually the way most escorts work – for many it’s ‘my boyfriend accepts that we need the money/I like this job/I won’t change who I am for him – but unless money is involved we’re monogamous’. Maybe some of these guys think that dating an escort is awesome, but not all of them.

    There’s also a fairly large number who, having discovered how awesome it is to get paid for sex, absolutely never give it away for free. No boyfriends, no girlfriends, no casual partners – just clients. Who kick themselves for ‘giving it away’ for so long. A little bitter, not that I’m judgemental ๐Ÿ˜›

    Oh, and escorts who’ll date and have casual partners while working, but don’t want to settle down with anyone until they retire or get a different job because they wouldn’t want to marry ‘the kind of man’ who would be willing to marry an escort. No, I don’t get it either, but there’s a LOT of them.

    Awesome map though, just thought I’d infodump some stuff you might not have thought about. Sources = my life, a couple of real life friends who are in the sex industry, and escort forums online.

    • ditto this comment

      I’m in a very similar situation as kryschampagne. My husband digs that I’m an escort and we both enjoy sex with casual partners as well as moresomes. There are no emotional ties with other partners although it’s not a condition of our OM. Just the way things have worked out.

      That said, I was surprised when talking to other escorts who shared the same viewpoints as in the post by kryschampagne. Just thought I’d chime in because it’s rare to find someone else in my situation.

      • Re: ditto this comment

        More ditto!

        Well, I’m not actually an escort any more (long story – it’s been two years) HOWEVER… my boyfriend (of 5 years) is not only OK with it, it turns him on. I thought it was a one-in-a-million find to have someone who was OK with my profession. Wow – glad to “find” you two ๐Ÿ˜‰

  7. From having talked to sex workers, and being one myself, ‘my boyfriend digs that I’m an escort’ could probably do with being expanded a bit.

    I’m in the ‘my boyfriend (husband, actually) digs that I’m an escort’ catagory, and we also both have casual partners and are into threesomes (and potentially moresomes if the opportunity arises), we’re in theory open to pretty much any forms of sex with other partners of any sex and/or gendedr as long as there’s no other romantic involvements.

    That’s not actually the way most escorts work – for many it’s ‘my boyfriend accepts that we need the money/I like this job/I won’t change who I am for him – but unless money is involved we’re monogamous’. Maybe some of these guys think that dating an escort is awesome, but not all of them.

    There’s also a fairly large number who, having discovered how awesome it is to get paid for sex, absolutely never give it away for free. No boyfriends, no girlfriends, no casual partners – just clients. Who kick themselves for ‘giving it away’ for so long. A little bitter, not that I’m judgemental ๐Ÿ˜›

    Oh, and escorts who’ll date and have casual partners while working, but don’t want to settle down with anyone until they retire or get a different job because they wouldn’t want to marry ‘the kind of man’ who would be willing to marry an escort. No, I don’t get it either, but there’s a LOT of them.

    Awesome map though, just thought I’d infodump some stuff you might not have thought about. Sources = my life, a couple of real life friends who are in the sex industry, and escort forums online.

  8. > I’m also planning, eventually, to add a
    > Sexual Informatics section to the
    > Xeromag.com Web site

    Dammit Franklin, I still say you’ve not just one book in you but several.

    For your first one, have you given any thought to reconsidering that publisher who had an interest in a book on your own personal life story?

    I say this because there are now some good basic polyamory guidebooks out there, so that base doesn’t need as much covering as it did when we first talked about it in 2006. But making yourself more widely known as an interesting public figure, as a book would do — with the attendant book tour, radio, TV, reviews — would open up wider new audiences for your second book. I’ll extend my 2006 offer to any book subject that you want.

    I’m reminded (ahem) of H. P. Lovecraft, who spent years writing tens of thousands of brilliant letters to circles of friends, but never got around to producing a book in his lifetime.

    Alan M.
    Polyamory in the News

  9. > I’m also planning, eventually, to add a
    > Sexual Informatics section to the
    > Xeromag.com Web site

    Dammit Franklin, I still say you’ve not just one book in you but several.

    For your first one, have you given any thought to reconsidering that publisher who had an interest in a book on your own personal life story?

    I say this because there are now some good basic polyamory guidebooks out there, so that base doesn’t need as much covering as it did when we first talked about it in 2006. But making yourself more widely known as an interesting public figure, as a book would do — with the attendant book tour, radio, TV, reviews — would open up wider new audiences for your second book. I’ll extend my 2006 offer to any book subject that you want.

    I’m reminded (ahem) of H. P. Lovecraft, who spent years writing tens of thousands of brilliant letters to circles of friends, but never got around to producing a book in his lifetime.

    Alan M.
    Polyamory in the News

  10. Final? ๐Ÿ™‚

    Why is there zero overlap between religious/social polygamy and polyfidelity? Where would you put Kerista? They invented the word polyfidelity, and they were a religious/social group. Some people would say they were kind of culty. And are there NO, say, Mormon polygamists who aren’t too weird to get into the polyfidelity club? What about Muslims for whom polygamy is permitted, but not required and not a definitive part of their social structure?

    Does closed-group swinging deserve so much area? How common is it, really?

    Where’s celibacy?

    Is sex totally definitive of monogamy and non-monogamy? Aren’t a lot of those open relationships basically monogamous? Same thing for many forms of cheating, for that matter?

    If those get in on the basis of sex, can something get in on a basis OTHER than sex?

    What about a relationship where three people are basically married for social purposes, live together, share property, maybe even raise kids… but only two of them ever have sex? Does that also get in, and if so where? Or is it too rare or nameless to consider? Does it matter if two of them are officially married, but they’re not the pair who actually have sex? What if none of them ever have sex, but they’re still partnered?

    What about cheating on the terms of your polyamorous relationship?

  11. Final? ๐Ÿ™‚

    Why is there zero overlap between religious/social polygamy and polyfidelity? Where would you put Kerista? They invented the word polyfidelity, and they were a religious/social group. Some people would say they were kind of culty. And are there NO, say, Mormon polygamists who aren’t too weird to get into the polyfidelity club? What about Muslims for whom polygamy is permitted, but not required and not a definitive part of their social structure?

    Does closed-group swinging deserve so much area? How common is it, really?

    Where’s celibacy?

    Is sex totally definitive of monogamy and non-monogamy? Aren’t a lot of those open relationships basically monogamous? Same thing for many forms of cheating, for that matter?

    If those get in on the basis of sex, can something get in on a basis OTHER than sex?

    What about a relationship where three people are basically married for social purposes, live together, share property, maybe even raise kids… but only two of them ever have sex? Does that also get in, and if so where? Or is it too rare or nameless to consider? Does it matter if two of them are officially married, but they’re not the pair who actually have sex? What if none of them ever have sex, but they’re still partnered?

    What about cheating on the terms of your polyamorous relationship?

  12. ditto this comment

    I’m in a very similar situation as kryschampagne. My husband digs that I’m an escort and we both enjoy sex with casual partners as well as moresomes. There are no emotional ties with other partners although it’s not a condition of our OM. Just the way things have worked out.

    That said, I was surprised when talking to other escorts who shared the same viewpoints as in the post by kryschampagne. Just thought I’d chime in because it’s rare to find someone else in my situation.

  13. Where does “My primary and I can’t WAIT to meet IRL, so all her secondaries can stop having her call my name during sex. Also, my secondaries all want to meet her, too. Plus of course, some of my secondaries are hoping to get her in the sack themselves” fit?

    It seems SIMILAR to “This is my wife, her boyfriend, my boyfriend, and our girlfriend. her husband will be joining us later” except for the internet/phonesex part. One of my secondaries is ALSO entirely electronic thus far, as is at least one of hers.

    Also some Poly/Mono relationships are teledildonic-only.
    Don’ get me wrong, this thing is FREAKING AMAZING. I was just asking.

  14. Where does “My primary and I can’t WAIT to meet IRL, so all her secondaries can stop having her call my name during sex. Also, my secondaries all want to meet her, too. Plus of course, some of my secondaries are hoping to get her in the sack themselves” fit?

    It seems SIMILAR to “This is my wife, her boyfriend, my boyfriend, and our girlfriend. her husband will be joining us later” except for the internet/phonesex part. One of my secondaries is ALSO entirely electronic thus far, as is at least one of hers.

    Also some Poly/Mono relationships are teledildonic-only.
    Don’ get me wrong, this thing is FREAKING AMAZING. I was just asking.

  15. Re: ditto this comment

    More ditto!

    Well, I’m not actually an escort any more (long story – it’s been two years) HOWEVER… my boyfriend (of 5 years) is not only OK with it, it turns him on. I thought it was a one-in-a-million find to have someone who was OK with my profession. Wow – glad to “find” you two ๐Ÿ˜‰

  16. 100 Mile Rule

    I am a bit confused about the 100 Mile Rule. I don’t think it can exist outside of either ‘open relationship’ or ‘cheating.’ The statement “We’re monogamous, except when he’s on the road” should fall within open relationships rather than outside of it, because it is inherently an open relationship conditional on physical separation. But the 100 mile rule could also be extended to poly/mono if the rule is one-sided, or possibly even to polyamorous relationships, especially if separation is for long periods or recurrent in the same place.

  17. 100 Mile Rule

    I am a bit confused about the 100 Mile Rule. I don’t think it can exist outside of either ‘open relationship’ or ‘cheating.’ The statement “We’re monogamous, except when he’s on the road” should fall within open relationships rather than outside of it, because it is inherently an open relationship conditional on physical separation. But the 100 mile rule could also be extended to poly/mono if the rule is one-sided, or possibly even to polyamorous relationships, especially if separation is for long periods or recurrent in the same place.

  18. I found your profile through one of the new comms that I just joined, but I’m not sure which one now as I have exitted the pages. >.< I came across this, and I just spend ages understanding it all, and I have to admit that I love the organised chaos of it all. It's amazing, and very informative. Thank you Sir!

  19. I found your profile through one of the new comms that I just joined, but I’m not sure which one now as I have exitted the pages. >.< I came across this, and I just spend ages understanding it all, and I have to admit that I love the organised chaos of it all. It's amazing, and very informative. Thank you Sir!

  20. Missing tooltip

    To the right and below “This is my dom, his other sub”, there is an X without a tooltip. That X doesn’t appear in the expanded map above.

  21. Re: Individuality

    I think that a lot of “polyamory” encompasses folks who are free agents or who are single for whatever definition of single. There could probably be more examples ’round the edge for single people, but there are many places on the map where such folks might appear.

  22. Re: Individuality

    I think that a lot of “polyamory” encompasses folks who are free agents or who are single for whatever definition of single. There could probably be more examples ’round the edge for single people, but there are many places on the map where such folks might appear.

  23. Re: Apples to Oranges is right….

    Any analogy or metaphor is going to be apples to oranges, by its very nature. That’s what a metaphor *is*. If I say “Man, work was like a zoo!” I’m comparing apples (a job involving Web development) to an extraordinarily different orange (a place full of animals in cages).

    To start off, comparing a couple’s agreement with one another with someone’s mother making choices for them or someone and their career? Please.

    Is it fair to say that just like a single person should not step foot in a bar with an inflexible list of specifics (6’2, blonde, tan, dresses in suits, owns a 2011 Porsche, is a doctor, loves poodles, drinks only 15-year old scotch or better, has never seen a Kevin Costner movie…) … that poly couples with a similiar list might be disappointed? Yes.

    But it is completely reasonable to have a set of expectations and explain them up front. Isn’t poly supposed to be about communicating and being honest?

    Sure. Communicating expectations up front is one of the things any relationship should be about.

    But the analogy holds because in both cases–when a couple makes up an agreement and when a single person gives his mom a say–the similarity is that any new romantic partner is expected to just sign on the dotted line to a list of agreements he or she had no voice in. That’s the essential part of the metaphor.

    For example, one couple I know of, and had written about before, came up with an agreement that ran to more than 40 pages of single-spaced, 10-point type. It included provisions for how far each of them was permitted to travel on a date, and on what days; what restaurants they were permitted and forbidden to take their dates to; and even a list of pet names they were forbidden to refer to any new partner by.

    In another real-world example, I know of a couple who has been looking for a partner for over forty years without success. They have a set of agreements between them that detail in the most minute detail you can possibly imagine exactly what role this new woman will play in their lives–where she will sleep, even–and they genuinely, sincerely can’t understand why, with more than forty years of trying, nobody has ever said “yes.”

    And who are you to say that having that kind of priority system is a bad relationship model? My point is that a person or couple explaining their expectations – reasonable ones – based on their priorities (job, kids, spouse, ill mother, pet, hobby) is a very open and mature thing to do. And should be encouraged in everyone – mono and poly alike.

    I’m not actually saying anything at all about whether an approach is “good” or “bad.” Instead, what I’m doing is setting up a list of analogies to help illustrate why some approaches are more likely to fail than others.

    If you go into a monogamous dating situation saying up front that your career is more important than your relationship, you may very well find someone who’s okay with that. If so, good for you! There’s nothing wrong with that. But you will likely put a lot of folks off, and it will likely diminish your chances of success.

    If you go into a relationship specifying that anyone you date has to have sex with your spouse too, and you find someone who’s down with that, fill your boots! There’s nothing wrong with that. But many people find the notion of being told that they have to have sex with this other person if they want to have sex with you distasteful, so this approach is likely to be a lot harder, and has a greater chance of not being successful.

  24. Re: Apples to Oranges is right….

    Any analogy or metaphor is going to be apples to oranges, by its very nature. That’s what a metaphor *is*. If I say “Man, work was like a zoo!” I’m comparing apples (a job involving Web development) to an extraordinarily different orange (a place full of animals in cages).

    To start off, comparing a couple’s agreement with one another with someone’s mother making choices for them or someone and their career? Please.

    Is it fair to say that just like a single person should not step foot in a bar with an inflexible list of specifics (6’2, blonde, tan, dresses in suits, owns a 2011 Porsche, is a doctor, loves poodles, drinks only 15-year old scotch or better, has never seen a Kevin Costner movie…) … that poly couples with a similiar list might be disappointed? Yes.

    But it is completely reasonable to have a set of expectations and explain them up front. Isn’t poly supposed to be about communicating and being honest?

    Sure. Communicating expectations up front is one of the things any relationship should be about.

    But the analogy holds because in both cases–when a couple makes up an agreement and when a single person gives his mom a say–the similarity is that any new romantic partner is expected to just sign on the dotted line to a list of agreements he or she had no voice in. That’s the essential part of the metaphor.

    For example, one couple I know of, and had written about before, came up with an agreement that ran to more than 40 pages of single-spaced, 10-point type. It included provisions for how far each of them was permitted to travel on a date, and on what days; what restaurants they were permitted and forbidden to take their dates to; and even a list of pet names they were forbidden to refer to any new partner by.

    In another real-world example, I know of a couple who has been looking for a partner for over forty years without success. They have a set of agreements between them that detail in the most minute detail you can possibly imagine exactly what role this new woman will play in their lives–where she will sleep, even–and they genuinely, sincerely can’t understand why, with more than forty years of trying, nobody has ever said “yes.”

    And who are you to say that having that kind of priority system is a bad relationship model? My point is that a person or couple explaining their expectations – reasonable ones – based on their priorities (job, kids, spouse, ill mother, pet, hobby) is a very open and mature thing to do. And should be encouraged in everyone – mono and poly alike.

    I’m not actually saying anything at all about whether an approach is “good” or “bad.” Instead, what I’m doing is setting up a list of analogies to help illustrate why some approaches are more likely to fail than others.

    If you go into a monogamous dating situation saying up front that your career is more important than your relationship, you may very well find someone who’s okay with that. If so, good for you! There’s nothing wrong with that. But you will likely put a lot of folks off, and it will likely diminish your chances of success.

    If you go into a relationship specifying that anyone you date has to have sex with your spouse too, and you find someone who’s down with that, fill your boots! There’s nothing wrong with that. But many people find the notion of being told that they have to have sex with this other person if they want to have sex with you distasteful, so this approach is likely to be a lot harder, and has a greater chance of not being successful.

  25. Yes, filled with so many stereotypes about fat. If we all eat fast food, we’ll all become bloated like beach balls. Clearly all fat people eat junkfood all the time and skinny people are so because they never eat junk. And all fat people are clumsy, klutzy and incompetent… Well done animation, just too bad they’re using their talents for evil instead of for good.

  26. Yes, filled with so many stereotypes about fat. If we all eat fast food, we’ll all become bloated like beach balls. Clearly all fat people eat junkfood all the time and skinny people are so because they never eat junk. And all fat people are clumsy, klutzy and incompetent… Well done animation, just too bad they’re using their talents for evil instead of for good.

  27. With the current software “teensyduino” that integrates easily into the Arduino software, the Teensy, (Teensy2 and Teensy3.x) from http://www.pjrc.com are IMHO, just as easy to use software-wise as an official Arduino. The designer has contributed truly amazing amounts of code to Arduino libraries, and is generally a good guy. I have no affiliation, except as a happy customer and kickstarter backer (for the Teensy3.)

  28. With the current software “teensyduino” that integrates easily into the Arduino software, the Teensy, (Teensy2 and Teensy3.x) from http://www.pjrc.com are IMHO, just as easy to use software-wise as an official Arduino. The designer has contributed truly amazing amounts of code to Arduino libraries, and is generally a good guy. I have no affiliation, except as a happy customer and kickstarter backer (for the Teensy3.)

  29. Using Escorts for Poly/Mono Relationship

    Hi Franklin,

    thanks so much for your map. You have put so much work in to this and are helping a lot of people. I appreciate what you are doing.

    I propose a slight expansion to cover a situation I have with my wife. She is mono only and even though I encourage her to have sex with other men or women she doesn’t want to. I feel compersion for this.

    However, on my side, while I am not interested in being in a relationship with another person – I love my wife and only want to love her – I want to have sex with lots of different but attractive women. Why wife is OK with this idea. Financially I am in the fortunate position of being able to afford the very top-level of escorts, as I am only into this idea for really hot women otherwise I am not interested. My loving wife has agreed that I can fuck these escorts for from time to time purely because I like to fuck hot women.

    Its a way of avoiding the whole jealousy thing, and complications with other relationships. Life is complicated enough as it is!

    This scenario doesn’t seem to appear on your map though. I am led to ask then, is such an arrangement so uncommon that it hasn’t come to your attention before? I must say I have not found anything on the web describing this, but I also cant imaging that I am unique either.

    I would really like to know if I am not alone and would to hear from anyone who has, or has had this arrangement themselves.

    One other thing. It would be really cool if someone would coin a word like compersion but more specifically relating to enjoying the idea of your partner having lust-only sex (no love) with someone else (even an escort). I suggest “Escersion” perhaps. Thoughts?

  30. Using Escorts for Poly/Mono Relationship

    Hi Franklin,

    thanks so much for your map. You have put so much work in to this and are helping a lot of people. I appreciate what you are doing.

    I propose a slight expansion to cover a situation I have with my wife. She is mono only and even though I encourage her to have sex with other men or women she doesn’t want to. I feel compersion for this.

    However, on my side, while I am not interested in being in a relationship with another person – I love my wife and only want to love her – I want to have sex with lots of different but attractive women. Why wife is OK with this idea. Financially I am in the fortunate position of being able to afford the very top-level of escorts, as I am only into this idea for really hot women otherwise I am not interested. My loving wife has agreed that I can fuck these escorts for from time to time purely because I like to fuck hot women.

    Its a way of avoiding the whole jealousy thing, and complications with other relationships. Life is complicated enough as it is!

    This scenario doesn’t seem to appear on your map though. I am led to ask then, is such an arrangement so uncommon that it hasn’t come to your attention before? I must say I have not found anything on the web describing this, but I also cant imaging that I am unique either.

    I would really like to know if I am not alone and would to hear from anyone who has, or has had this arrangement themselves.

    One other thing. It would be really cool if someone would coin a word like compersion but more specifically relating to enjoying the idea of your partner having lust-only sex (no love) with someone else (even an escort). I suggest “Escersion” perhaps. Thoughts?

  31. A few suggestions

    I love the chart. It’s as clear as mud…hehe
    You’ve done an admirable job at making sense of a VERY complicated subject, but I noticed that there is one label that is missing…the standard poly/mono. Yes, I realise it’s boring, but it does happen. “Hey mom! No, my hubby’s off with his (boy/girl)friend right now.”
    Then there’s a section (or two) that could be considered missing as well…fetish and pet play (pet being a subset of fetish and possibly D/s). “Hey dad! Yes, that’s hubby out mowing the lawn in his rubber. Oh don’t mind our (human) pup humping your leg. He’s excited to see you.”

  32. A few suggestions

    I love the chart. It’s as clear as mud…hehe
    You’ve done an admirable job at making sense of a VERY complicated subject, but I noticed that there is one label that is missing…the standard poly/mono. Yes, I realise it’s boring, but it does happen. “Hey mom! No, my hubby’s off with his (boy/girl)friend right now.”
    Then there’s a section (or two) that could be considered missing as well…fetish and pet play (pet being a subset of fetish and possibly D/s). “Hey dad! Yes, that’s hubby out mowing the lawn in his rubber. Oh don’t mind our (human) pup humping your leg. He’s excited to see you.”

  33. You seem to have missed asexuality

    The author appears to have missed the catagory “asexual,” It is non-monogamous.

  34. You seem to have missed asexuality

    The author appears to have missed the catagory “asexual,” It is non-monogamous.

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