Future Plans, and Life Changes

(One of the very few friends-locked posts you’ll see in this journal, largely because I haven’t talked about these issues with the folks at the company I work with yet, and don’t want to incite any premature panic.)

So. Atlanta. Not really crazy about it.

I moved to Atlanta several years ago because the electronics company I’m a minority partner in relocated its headquarters here. Since that time, the company has encountered several financial crises, gone through a lot of employees, and just generally made a right mess of things internally. The company’s survival has been touch and go for a while, and on several occasions they’ve been late paying me or haven’t paid me at all.

Now, that’s not really as big a problem as it might have been. I’ve invested a tremendous amount of time and effort into the various other projects I have going–my Web sites, Onyx, stuff like that–and they mostly pay the bills these days. I’m not really dependent on the electronics company for my living. (It’d be nice if my stock in the company were worth more than the paper it’s printed on, but that’s a different issue.)

Had I known three years ago what I know now, I don’t think I would ever have moved to Atlanta. I don’t like that all my relationships are long-distance, I don’t like that I’ve never really been successful in building a community here, and I don’t like Atlanta.

That’s more or less irrelevant now, though. Water under the bridge.

What’s more relevant is I’ve finally reached the point where I can’t abide the idea of staying here any more. So, when my lease is up in June, I’m heading to Portland, Oregon, where I will be living with zaiah (at least that’s the plan) and where I feel I already have more of a community than I have in Atlanta.


My goal from this is nothing short of a complete, ground-up rebuilding of my life. I don’t like the way it looks right now, so I’m going to change it. The goals for the move:

– Not working in an office any more. I want to do 100% of my work completely online (including the work I do for the electronics firm; ideally, I’ll still be doing Web programming for them), whether that be consulting, Web dev, my own Web site, or whatever. That by itself frees up all the other things I’d like to be able to do.

– Spending more time traveling. It sucks having all of my relationships be long-distance; I’d like the freedom to be able to say “You know what? I want to spend the next four weeks with dayo” or “I want to spend some time living with figmentj” and have that be possible.

– Spending more time in poly/BDSM/sexblogging activism, including having a higher profile at conventions, retreats, and that sort of thing. For example, I’ve received about a half-dozen invitations to the Sex 2.0 convention this May in DC, and I won’t be able to go–I’d like to have the ability to attend next year. Ditto for things like SxSW, Loving More, Dragon*Con, and the like.

– A living arrangement that will better accommodate an extended local poly network. zaiah and I would like to create a home that can allow for multiple live-in or near-live-in relationships, should those opportunities present themselves.

– A much more active involvement in local BDSM and poly communities. This is something I had in Tampa but don’t have here.

I’m really excited about moving, and I’m looking forward to having a lot more freedom to travel. Now if only these next few months would pass quickly!

62 thoughts on “Future Plans, and Life Changes

  1. Awesome post…

    I hope we get a chance to talk more indepth at Frolicon. You’re the kind of writer/blogger that I’d like to do a joint venture with in the future, or at the very least, interview for my podcast once that gets rolling. You’re the very best thing to come out of the time I spent on OKCupid.

  2. Awesome post…

    I hope we get a chance to talk more indepth at Frolicon. You’re the kind of writer/blogger that I’d like to do a joint venture with in the future, or at the very least, interview for my podcast once that gets rolling. You’re the very best thing to come out of the time I spent on OKCupid.

  3. Good for you. It’s really good to take control and make active changes in ones life, especially if you don’t like how things are going. I wish you all the luck my Irish side can afford. ^_^

    Can I make a suggestion? I think you should write a book. You clearly have the knowledge of the BSDM/Poly lifestyle – and honestly, if you’re considering being a more active presence, the “lifestyle” can use more common sense, down to earth bits of advice. Yes, there are the books out there like the Loving Dominant, et al, but I think you’ve got a unique perspective on scenes, partners and play. Anyway, just my .02 cents.

  4. Good for you. It’s really good to take control and make active changes in ones life, especially if you don’t like how things are going. I wish you all the luck my Irish side can afford. ^_^

    Can I make a suggestion? I think you should write a book. You clearly have the knowledge of the BSDM/Poly lifestyle – and honestly, if you’re considering being a more active presence, the “lifestyle” can use more common sense, down to earth bits of advice. Yes, there are the books out there like the Loving Dominant, et al, but I think you’ve got a unique perspective on scenes, partners and play. Anyway, just my .02 cents.

  5. Good luck and safe travels. I know there have been many days I wish I could pack up and just follow my heart to a place I am happier, its heart warming to see other people do so.

    and thanks for considering me a “friend” lol.

  6. Good luck and safe travels. I know there have been many days I wish I could pack up and just follow my heart to a place I am happier, its heart warming to see other people do so.

    and thanks for considering me a “friend” lol.

  7. I am sorry you have not been happy.
    I am, happy to hear you are doing something about it.
    I thought we were happy for a very long time, well until we weren’t.
    I did find happiness again, I sincerely hope you find it as well.
    Take care of yourself Franklin.

  8. I am sorry you have not been happy.
    I am, happy to hear you are doing something about it.
    I thought we were happy for a very long time, well until we weren’t.
    I did find happiness again, I sincerely hope you find it as well.
    Take care of yourself Franklin.

  9. Very cool! I hope you love the PNW.

    Though I’m not involved in the poly scene here (Seattle, similar to Portland in quite a few ways), they’re pretty open. I’ve crewed a few poly cruises. When you can find enough like-minded folks to charter a tour boat that can carry over 300, I’d say you’ve got critical mass. 😉

    Oh, and those cruises got me the best stories evar. And blown while I drove the boat.

  10. Very cool! I hope you love the PNW.

    Though I’m not involved in the poly scene here (Seattle, similar to Portland in quite a few ways), they’re pretty open. I’ve crewed a few poly cruises. When you can find enough like-minded folks to charter a tour boat that can carry over 300, I’d say you’ve got critical mass. 😉

    Oh, and those cruises got me the best stories evar. And blown while I drove the boat.

  11. Too bad about Sex 2.0. So many events, so little time. Keep an eye on the Google group and many of the key participants are on Twitter.

    Since you’ll be on the West Coast, keep an eye out for Arse Elektronika, which hopefully will happen again this September. Last year, it was conveniently scheduled the same week as Folsom. 😉

  12. Too bad about Sex 2.0. So many events, so little time. Keep an eye on the Google group and many of the key participants are on Twitter.

    Since you’ll be on the West Coast, keep an eye out for Arse Elektronika, which hopefully will happen again this September. Last year, it was conveniently scheduled the same week as Folsom. 😉

  13. I felt the same way about Atl. (after having lived there my whole life) and I haven’t regretted for a minute following my heart down here to Savannah.
    Good luck on your new adventures and I hope to get to meet you someday. 🙂

  14. I felt the same way about Atl. (after having lived there my whole life) and I haven’t regretted for a minute following my heart down here to Savannah.
    Good luck on your new adventures and I hope to get to meet you someday. 🙂

  15. Atlanta really isn’t my thing either, which is why I’ve pretty much decided to stay in New Orleans. However, I will miss not being able to visit you whenever I go home to see my family.
    But you need to do whatever makes you happy. (Duh.) So I wish you the best of luck and all the happiness that is humanly possible.

    And, of course, there will probably come a time where I’ll say, “Hey Franklin! I’m going to be in Portland on [X dates]. Are you and free to hang out?”

  16. Atlanta really isn’t my thing either, which is why I’ve pretty much decided to stay in New Orleans. However, I will miss not being able to visit you whenever I go home to see my family.
    But you need to do whatever makes you happy. (Duh.) So I wish you the best of luck and all the happiness that is humanly possible.

    And, of course, there will probably come a time where I’ll say, “Hey Franklin! I’m going to be in Portland on [X dates]. Are you and free to hang out?”

  17. As someone who has been spending the past couple of months reinventing herself to make her life more awesome, and stands at T minus two days until moving…. good for you!!! 🙂 I’m always so happy to see people willing to make positive changes in their lives to become happier. Inertia is a powerful force, but I hate to accept it as a reason for people to complain and not take action.

    I hope your current enthusiasm carries you through all the sorting and packing and whatnot! Best of luck.

  18. As someone who has been spending the past couple of months reinventing herself to make her life more awesome, and stands at T minus two days until moving…. good for you!!! 🙂 I’m always so happy to see people willing to make positive changes in their lives to become happier. Inertia is a powerful force, but I hate to accept it as a reason for people to complain and not take action.

    I hope your current enthusiasm carries you through all the sorting and packing and whatnot! Best of luck.

  19. Awesome. Way to take charge of your life and do something about what makes you unhappy.

    In other news, my husband and I will be in town (Portland) the first weekend of Oct for the Browncoat Ball. Maybe it’s time to finally meet!

  20. Awesome. Way to take charge of your life and do something about what makes you unhappy.

    In other news, my husband and I will be in town (Portland) the first weekend of Oct for the Browncoat Ball. Maybe it’s time to finally meet!

  21. Congrats on difficult life decisions and making changes where they are needed!
    You ROCK!
    (And have courage that most do not!)

    Will you be at Frolicon??
    (You are famous in my book and I’d love to shake your hand before you move to the awesome NW!)
    ~Maura

  22. Congrats on difficult life decisions and making changes where they are needed!
    You ROCK!
    (And have courage that most do not!)

    Will you be at Frolicon??
    (You are famous in my book and I’d love to shake your hand before you move to the awesome NW!)
    ~Maura

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