ZOMG! ZOMG! I’ve created a meme!

And it’s taken me all day, too.

At the beginning of this day, when I woke up, everything I knew about PHP programming with MySQL would fit in the white space of a postage stamp. (Okay, so that’s not entirely true, but I’d never written database code from scratch before. Everything I’ve ever done up ’til now is modifying someone else’s code, which is a whole ‘nother ballgame.)

So twelve hours, a thousand Google searches, and a lot of head-scratching later, I’ve actually taken the map of human sexuality I created, and made it interactive! You can click on the map in a Web browser to place pins showing where you’ve been and where you want to go, and then save your map to a database so you can show other people!

Okay, so it’s still really, really crude. Scrolling around is a pain, there’s no way to remove a pin once you place it (you gotta erase the whole map and start again), and there’s no way to go back to a map and continue to edit it once it’s saved.

But still…it works! Words can not express how pleased with myself I am right now. It’s been tested in Explorer 7 and Firefox for Windows, and in Safari and Firefox on Mac. Should work in other browsers too, I reckon. And it even generates code to put into your blog automatically.

Give it a try!


Find out where I’ve journeyed
on the Map of Human Sexuality!
Or get your own here!

And now, I am going to bed. My brain is tired.

92 thoughts on “ZOMG! ZOMG! I’ve created a meme!

      • I guess menstruation isn’t hardcore enough? Then again, I dated a girl who used to like to go down on me after sex when she was on her period, with no break for cleanup. I would imagine if there was even a NAME for that it would be up there. LOL/

        • Hell, everything has a name.

          I was with a guy who liked to have sex while I was on my period… then write on me with the dried come/blood combo… then lick the whole lot off.

          I dunno what the name was for THAT either, but I know it’s freakin’ weird.

          (Though my stance on the “weirdness” of stuff is pretty abnormal for these days.) (Yes, you can like it, yes it’s okay to like it.. its STILL FREAKIN’ WEIRD.)

    • That may get added to a future revision. It’ll involve doing a lot of Google searching and some more teaching myself Web programming, so I don’t know when I’ll have time to get into it, but it is a little annoying not to be able to remove pins.

      • OH, and … sob… add pins! I left out a whole section, and now I can’t go back and add more.

        A good opportunity to learn some more programming, eh? A wonderful acheivement all round. The fact that people are asking for more is a good sign.

  1. I like the idea.

    …..but is there any way to add a “close” option to the floating ad? I don’t mind ads, as long as I can get rid of them after I’ve read them, or as long as they stay in one place and don’t obscure whatever it is I’m looking at?

    • Your wish is my command. The toolbar in the map creator and the floating ad in the map viewer now both have a “hide” button which will cause them to collapse.

  2. I like the idea.

    …..but is there any way to add a “close” option to the floating ad? I don’t mind ads, as long as I can get rid of them after I’ve read them, or as long as they stay in one place and don’t obscure whatever it is I’m looking at?

  3. While the pins are cool and all, I sort of think it’d be more effective at giving an overview of “where you’ve been” if the whole map was gray, and you colored the territories green or purple instead?

  4. While the pins are cool and all, I sort of think it’d be more effective at giving an overview of “where you’ve been” if the whole map was gray, and you colored the territories green or purple instead?

  5. It’d be neat to have a third pin type for “fantasy only” – stuff that is enjoyed in my head or in stories, but I wouldn’t care to actually do (or perhaps even to roleplay).

    (As an example, I <3 mind control erotica/fantasizing a lot, but I find roleplaying it an actual sexual situation to be less interesting, and it's not something I'd want to do if it were possible for real.)

  6. It’d be neat to have a third pin type for “fantasy only” – stuff that is enjoyed in my head or in stories, but I wouldn’t care to actually do (or perhaps even to roleplay).

    (As an example, I <3 mind control erotica/fantasizing a lot, but I find roleplaying it an actual sexual situation to be less interesting, and it's not something I'd want to do if it were possible for real.)

  7. I’m so gonna do this but I really really need to go to bed..
    but I do have a question for you… do you have a kink named for someone who likes to be given kinky assignments to do & gets a sexual thrill out of following through on them?
    Just wondering….

  8. I’m so gonna do this but I really really need to go to bed..
    but I do have a question for you… do you have a kink named for someone who likes to be given kinky assignments to do & gets a sexual thrill out of following through on them?
    Just wondering….

  9. Way cool! Congratualations! BTW, Petri says you can always ask him about PHP, and you might also want to check if it might be more feasible to use Ajax instead of PHP. (Although he says he doesn’t know any about Ajax but he is thinking about learning it himself.)

    I hope that made sense. I don’t make this stuff up. I just deliver the strange Finnish ramblings. 😀

    • AJAX isn’t really a language; it’s a combination of Javascript, a server back-end like PHP or ASP or Ruby, and XML. I’m using Javascript and PHP, but they’re not talking to each other via XML.

  10. Way cool! Congratualations! BTW, Petri says you can always ask him about PHP, and you might also want to check if it might be more feasible to use Ajax instead of PHP. (Although he says he doesn’t know any about Ajax but he is thinking about learning it himself.)

    I hope that made sense. I don’t make this stuff up. I just deliver the strange Finnish ramblings. 😀

  11. Okay, I wanna know what water bondage is… and the only wiki I could find was in French (?) and I don’t trust translations.

    Sooo… what is it?

    If it’s what I’m thinking of in my head, it sounds nifty… if it’s something else, then it is NOT NIFTY.

    (Oh, and I’m at work, so I can’t just go and watch what it is in pron that goggles up.)

    • Water bondage is any kind of bondage involving water, such as dunking the bound person in water (which can include breath control as well–I’ve talked to folks who are really into this) or spraying a bound person with water. Kink.com has a whole Web site dedicated to this sort of thing.

  12. Okay, I wanna know what water bondage is… and the only wiki I could find was in French (?) and I don’t trust translations.

    Sooo… what is it?

    If it’s what I’m thinking of in my head, it sounds nifty… if it’s something else, then it is NOT NIFTY.

    (Oh, and I’m at work, so I can’t just go and watch what it is in pron that goggles up.)

  13. That may get added to a future revision. It’ll involve doing a lot of Google searching and some more teaching myself Web programming, so I don’t know when I’ll have time to get into it, but it is a little annoying not to be able to remove pins.

  14. Water bondage is any kind of bondage involving water, such as dunking the bound person in water (which can include breath control as well–I’ve talked to folks who are really into this) or spraying a bound person with water. Kink.com has a whole Web site dedicated to this sort of thing.

  15. AJAX isn’t really a language; it’s a combination of Javascript, a server back-end like PHP or ASP or Ruby, and XML. I’m using Javascript and PHP, but they’re not talking to each other via XML.

  16. I guess menstruation isn’t hardcore enough? Then again, I dated a girl who used to like to go down on me after sex when she was on her period, with no break for cleanup. I would imagine if there was even a NAME for that it would be up there. LOL/

  17. Hell, everything has a name.

    I was with a guy who liked to have sex while I was on my period… then write on me with the dried come/blood combo… then lick the whole lot off.

    I dunno what the name was for THAT either, but I know it’s freakin’ weird.

    (Though my stance on the “weirdness” of stuff is pretty abnormal for these days.) (Yes, you can like it, yes it’s okay to like it.. its STILL FREAKIN’ WEIRD.)

  18. I did make my very own map bur I have a suggestion (possibly a couple of them)
    there could be green for tried it, purple for want to try it, pink for curious about it(or [possibly fantasy fodder?) & red for want to if it were possible….
    also, could there be a way to just remove ONE tack instead of having to start all over again from just one lousy mistake? 🙂 Just wondering 🙂

  19. I just recalled what my other idea is- could you provide links to short definitions of the more unusual ones? I found myself often scratching my head & a goofy *huh* expression on my face.. then again I could just be a clueless wonder 😉

  20. OH, and … sob… add pins! I left out a whole section, and now I can’t go back and add more.

    A good opportunity to learn some more programming, eh? A wonderful acheivement all round. The fact that people are asking for more is a good sign.

  21. Very cool.

    I just had a closer look, and couldn’t find either Red Wings or Brown Wings. These were badges the Hell’s Angels used to give members to denote those that engaged in cunnilingus on a menstrating woman or analingus, respectively.

    You have “Menstration Fetish” and “Ass to Mouth,” it’s true; but a part of me (at least) pines to see the more familiar terms.

  22. Very cool.

    I just had a closer look, and couldn’t find either Red Wings or Brown Wings. These were badges the Hell’s Angels used to give members to denote those that engaged in cunnilingus on a menstrating woman or analingus, respectively.

    You have “Menstration Fetish” and “Ass to Mouth,” it’s true; but a part of me (at least) pines to see the more familiar terms.

  23. Your wish is my command. The toolbar in the map creator and the floating ad in the map viewer now both have a “hide” button which will cause them to collapse.

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