I haven’t been posting much over the last three weeks or so, and those posts I’ve made have been “hit and run” with no conversational followup, largely because I’ve been spending a great deal of time working on a huge update to me Web site.
I finally uploaded what I’ve done, though I had originally planned to wait and do the upload with everything I want to do. I still have quite a number of significant updates left to finish.
The part that’s been updated involves:
– Significant updates to the polyamory section, that include:
– Changes to the Common Poly Mistakes, Communication, Glossary, and Links section.
– A brand-new page: How to Become a Secure Person in Three Easy Steps, which is based on a reworking and extension of the similar essay posted here in my LiveJournal.
– Significant updates to the BDSM section, including typo fixes and minor revisions to the main page, revisions to the Folks I Can Do Without page and the Glossary of BDSM Terms, and significant new additions to the BDSM Scenarios page.
– A very significant extension to my Grammar Cheat Sheet page, including many new entries of common grammar errors and a whole new section on “Language in Flux.”
– A whole new wing on my developing section on extropianism and transhumanism, including a new page on rationality called A Defense of Reason (adapted from and extending another post in my journal) and a new and still growing books and Web resources on transhumanism, nanotechnology, and rationality.
– An overhaul to the Photography Resources and Links page.
There’s a lot more stuff coming, too! Planned additions over the next few weeks include:
Free e-cards! I’ve installed electronic greeting card software on the server; I haven’t created the images and pages to go with it yet, but I’m working on a new section for BDSM-themed e-cards and for polyamory-themed e-cards. I’m doing this out of exasperation for all the Valentine’s cards that say things like “to my one and only” or “to my one true love;” it’s impossible to find poly-friendly online cards. Note: if anyone has any BDSM or poly-themed images they would like to let me use for greeting cards, let me know! I will provide credit for the images, if you like. The images must either be copyright-free or you must own the copyright yourself.
A whole new polyamorous wing: The Cranky Polyamorist, an ongoing collection of essays and rants about things that get my goat. I’m working on three essays currently, and will probably have more over time. I’m getting cynical in my old age…
A Poly/Mono Dialog, a transcript of an ongoing conversation I’ve been having online with a monogamous person, and a real eye-opener for some of the basic philosophical and worldview differences between monogamous people and polyamorous people. It’s a fascinating dialog, but it currently runs well over 20,000 words; editing it down and keeping it coherent is turning out to be a bigger job than I thought.
Two or three more sections in the Poly page, and one or two more sections in the BDSM page.
Ongoing revisions to the Transhumanism section, including additional resources and probably at least one more essay.
More revisions to the BDSM Scenarios page.
Additions to the Photography pages, probably affecting only the Digital section.
And now, off to the dentist!
I think the e-cards are a great idea. You’ve got a typo in a Common Poly Mistakes headline: s/ oyu / you /.
I think the e-cards are a great idea. You’ve got a typo in a Common Poly Mistakes headline: s/ oyu / you /.
It’s “preventive,” not “preventative.”
Something which is designed to prevent something else from happening is a preventive measure, as in “aspirin can act as preventive medicine for heart attacks.”
I’m confused. Here you are using ‘preventive’ as an adjective, right? And therefore ‘prevetative’ used as in:
‘Aspirin is used as a headache preventative’ would be a noun. Hrmmm well actually ‘aspirin’ is the noun….but then so is prevetative.
“Aspirin is used as a headache preventive’ is not proper.
English must be one of the world’s hardest languages…
It’s “preventive,” not “preventative.”
Something which is designed to prevent something else from happening is a preventive measure, as in “aspirin can act as preventive medicine for heart attacks.”
I’m confused. Here you are using ‘preventive’ as an adjective, right? And therefore ‘prevetative’ used as in:
‘Aspirin is used as a headache preventative’ would be a noun. Hrmmm well actually ‘aspirin’ is the noun….but then so is prevetative.
“Aspirin is used as a headache preventive’ is not proper.
English must be one of the world’s hardest languages…
Minor typo on “never do this: common poly mistakes” page…
“Don’t assume that you can prevent jealousy by making sure oyu and your partner date the same person”
oyu should be you, of course 😉
Minor typo on “never do this: common poly mistakes” page…
“Don’t assume that you can prevent jealousy by making sure oyu and your partner date the same person”
oyu should be you, of course 😉
I’m lovin’ the How to Be a Secure Person in Three Easy Steps article! OK if I quote bits from it on PW? And point to your site while giving credit, of course?
Absolutely! You can always feel free to quote from anything I write…
I’m lovin’ the How to Be a Secure Person in Three Easy Steps article! OK if I quote bits from it on PW? And point to your site while giving credit, of course?
Wow, lots of stuff! Rockin’ cool!
Poly e-cards sound awesome! I have been wanting some good poly e-cards for a while. There’s nothing out the right now for “Hey, you’re dating my boyfriend! Welcome and have fun!” or “Happy birthday from the both of us, and we also want to get in your pants!” or “Our shared sweetie says you’re sick! Hope you feel better.” or “I love you! Thanks for being a wonderful secondary.”
And there should be!
Wow, lots of stuff! Rockin’ cool!
Poly e-cards sound awesome! I have been wanting some good poly e-cards for a while. There’s nothing out the right now for “Hey, you’re dating my boyfriend! Welcome and have fun!” or “Happy birthday from the both of us, and we also want to get in your pants!” or “Our shared sweetie says you’re sick! Hope you feel better.” or “I love you! Thanks for being a wonderful secondary.”
And there should be!
hey btw.. I would love to be added to your photography link page.
my work (which you already see parts of on my lj here) can be found at my direct link
http://www.jasmineazure.com
let me know 🙂
hey btw.. I would love to be added to your photography link page.
my work (which you already see parts of on my lj here) can be found at my direct link
http://www.jasmineazure.com
let me know 🙂
As an insecure polyamorous person, I thank and salute you.
Ditto. Although I think it’s amusing that the advice on tacit’s site is very very similar to what my therapist taught me when I was still going. *grin*
As an insecure polyamorous person, I thank and salute you.
Ditto. Although I think it’s amusing that the advice on tacit’s site is very very similar to what my therapist taught me when I was still going. *grin*
basic philosophical and worldview differences?
Just curious as to whether you think that’s all that is going on.
Lots of people in the poly community seem to think that everyone would be poly if only society wasn’t against it, didn’t teach us the idea of a One Twoo Love, etc etc. While I certainly agree that poly relationships would be far more common if most people weren’t horrified at the thought, I don’t think that ‘basic philosophical and worldview differences’ are necessarily implied. As though all you need to do is persuade someone to your worldview and tadaa! they will be just like you!
From what I’ve seen of your writings etc, our outlook on life seems very similar. But I’m happily mono. And I’m not being held back from polyamory by thinking it’s not ‘real love’ or any such nonsense. It just isn’t my thing – I don’t feel drawn to it, and I’m happy as I am.
Re: basic philosophical and worldview differences?
There certainly are many poly folk who believe that all the world would be poly if only those poor dumb monogamous people would grow up a bit/lose their cultural conditioning/stop being so damn isecure/whatever.. I’m not one of them.
I tend to think that, as with many parts of the human condition, there are some people who are polyamorous by natore or inclination or whatever, and can’t be happy any other way; some people who are monogamous, and can’t be happy any other way; and some people who, under the right circumstances and with the right partner(s), can be happy in either a monogamous or polyamorous relationship.
I’m one of the former; i do not believe I could be happy being monogamous. The person I’ve been talking with, I suspect, could not be happy being polyamorous. When I talk about differences in philosophy and worldview, it’s a way of handwaving over discussions about whether polyamory or monogamy are hardwired and genetic, or environmental, or a matter of personality, or some other thing. Certainly I don’t think she will ever be polyamorousany more than I will ever be monogamous.
But regardless of where te drive to be monogamous or to be polyamorous comes from, it manifests itself in a way of looking at relationships and a way of looking at the world that’s unique to each approach. I’ve gained a lot of insight into the way a person who is strongly monogamous ses the world from this conversation, and she’s gained insight into one way a polyamorous person sees the world.
I don’t think these insights are useful for the purpose of changing a person from one relationship model to another, but I do think they are useful to anyone in a poly/mono relationship (which is actually how the conversation started).
Re: basic philosophical and worldview differences?
well, I’m interested to see it. So far, I’ve not noticed any real difference in worldviews – like I don’t believe that if you have more than one partner, jealousy is inevitable, or your love for each is less, or that it’s ‘unnatural’, or whatever. I simply don’t feel that drive for more partners. (Disclaimer: at the moment, and with the guy I’m currently with).
If you’ve found a way to rationalise/explain that, I would love to hear about it.
basic philosophical and worldview differences?
Just curious as to whether you think that’s all that is going on.
Lots of people in the poly community seem to think that everyone would be poly if only society wasn’t against it, didn’t teach us the idea of a One Twoo Love, etc etc. While I certainly agree that poly relationships would be far more common if most people weren’t horrified at the thought, I don’t think that ‘basic philosophical and worldview differences’ are necessarily implied. As though all you need to do is persuade someone to your worldview and tadaa! they will be just like you!
From what I’ve seen of your writings etc, our outlook on life seems very similar. But I’m happily mono. And I’m not being held back from polyamory by thinking it’s not ‘real love’ or any such nonsense. It just isn’t my thing – I don’t feel drawn to it, and I’m happy as I am.
I’m doing this out of exasperation for all the Valentine’s cards that say things like “to my one and only” or “to my one true love;”
The thing that really makes me LOL at this concept is the ad I heard on the radio around that time advertising a “Buy Two, Get One Free” sale on all cards timed, as the ad says, “just in time for Valentine’s Day!”
Which just makes me go… okay, why would Hallmark think that people would need to buy more than one of these?
Now THAT is amusing. For my one and only true love…buy two, get one free! Heh.
that IS funny.
(people sometimes will stock up on cards so that they only have to go shopping for them once a decade or so.)
I’m doing this out of exasperation for all the Valentine’s cards that say things like “to my one and only” or “to my one true love;”
The thing that really makes me LOL at this concept is the ad I heard on the radio around that time advertising a “Buy Two, Get One Free” sale on all cards timed, as the ad says, “just in time for Valentine’s Day!”
Which just makes me go… okay, why would Hallmark think that people would need to buy more than one of these?
Absolutely! You can always feel free to quote from anything I write…
Re: basic philosophical and worldview differences?
There certainly are many poly folk who believe that all the world would be poly if only those poor dumb monogamous people would grow up a bit/lose their cultural conditioning/stop being so damn isecure/whatever.. I’m not one of them.
I tend to think that, as with many parts of the human condition, there are some people who are polyamorous by natore or inclination or whatever, and can’t be happy any other way; some people who are monogamous, and can’t be happy any other way; and some people who, under the right circumstances and with the right partner(s), can be happy in either a monogamous or polyamorous relationship.
I’m one of the former; i do not believe I could be happy being monogamous. The person I’ve been talking with, I suspect, could not be happy being polyamorous. When I talk about differences in philosophy and worldview, it’s a way of handwaving over discussions about whether polyamory or monogamy are hardwired and genetic, or environmental, or a matter of personality, or some other thing. Certainly I don’t think she will ever be polyamorousany more than I will ever be monogamous.
But regardless of where te drive to be monogamous or to be polyamorous comes from, it manifests itself in a way of looking at relationships and a way of looking at the world that’s unique to each approach. I’ve gained a lot of insight into the way a person who is strongly monogamous ses the world from this conversation, and she’s gained insight into one way a polyamorous person sees the world.
I don’t think these insights are useful for the purpose of changing a person from one relationship model to another, but I do think they are useful to anyone in a poly/mono relationship (which is actually how the conversation started).
Now THAT is amusing. For my one and only true love…buy two, get one free! Heh.
Re: basic philosophical and worldview differences?
well, I’m interested to see it. So far, I’ve not noticed any real difference in worldviews – like I don’t believe that if you have more than one partner, jealousy is inevitable, or your love for each is less, or that it’s ‘unnatural’, or whatever. I simply don’t feel that drive for more partners. (Disclaimer: at the moment, and with the guy I’m currently with).
If you’ve found a way to rationalise/explain that, I would love to hear about it.
Got link? 🙂
hello! i wandered over from edwarddain’s LJ just now, and i’m hoping you can help me out. i’m interested in the “poly/mono dialog” mentioned above, but being unfamiliar with your webspace, i suspect it would take me longer to find the right link myself than it would to just ask for directions.
thanks!
Got link? 🙂
hello! i wandered over from edwarddain’s LJ just now, and i’m hoping you can help me out. i’m interested in the “poly/mono dialog” mentioned above, but being unfamiliar with your webspace, i suspect it would take me longer to find the right link myself than it would to just ask for directions.
thanks!
that IS funny.
(people sometimes will stock up on cards so that they only have to go shopping for them once a decade or so.)
Hi! I’m a newbie to BDSM, but I’m a big fan of xeromag.com. I’ve found it immensely helpful. A friend passed on your LJ name. May I be added? Thanks!
Hi! I’m a newbie to BDSM, but I’m a big fan of xeromag.com. I’ve found it immensely helpful. A friend passed on your LJ name. May I be added? Thanks!