In which our hero rants about things aggravating him, which are many, and then bends a meme to his own ends.
Okay, first of all, anyone who reads my journal right now won’t be able to see any pictures.
There’s a reason for this. The short form of the reason for this is that of the approximately six billion or so human beings on the planet, about five know how to behave with any maturity when things are emotionally stressful.
The long reason for this is that I have (or, technically, HAD) a business Web site, which once upon a time was registered with and hosted by a small local ISP called “Rapid Systems.” I used this ISP because it is owned by the brother of an old college friend and business partner of mine, and he and I had been friends for quite a number of years. He registered the domain in his own name, not mine.
Fast-forward to last year. My old college buddy and former partner has a falling-out with me, for two reasons: first, he decides (as is typical, it seems, for many people) that he’s going to take sides in my divorce, and second, he owes me money. Has owed me money for a long time. Apparently, he spent the money on something else and doesn’t intend ever to pay me back. So he decides to stop speaking to me, and (I’m assuming) his brother does likewise.
I contacted his brother several times to get the domain name transferred to my name; at first, he kept saying “okay, I’ll do that,” and didn’t, then eventually he stopped responding to me at all. So now the domain has expired. I can’t renew it because my name isn’t on the registration; I can’t re-register it because Network Solutions puts a hold on expired domains.
So you won’t be seeing any images in my LiveJournal until I get this all straightened out. Sorry. I used to host images on my personal site, but it’s been blacklisted by a lot of net blocking software, so until now I had been putting LJ images (save for anything, y’know, sexy) on my business site.
Oh, yeah, did I mention that it’s my business site that’s all screwed up?
So, the meme part. There’s this meme traveling around LiveJournal that tells you to put “[yourname] needs” into Google. Hilarity often ensues.
I did this, and was told by the Great Oracle Google that “Franklin needs a stadium,” “Franklin needs a few hot glue guns,” and “Franklin needs a good nickname.” Not really very interesting.
It gets more fun, though, if you try different variants. Want to see some real hilarity? Try Googling for “[yourname] eats” or “[yourname] hates” instead.
“Franklin eats by gathering five legs in one hand and then pulling the shell away from their still pulsating body.” “Franklin eats from blood stained baskets.” “Franklin eats all the doritoes, and Alby gets pissed, and decides he’s going to invent a bomb to kill frank.”
“Franklin hates the whole idea, but when a drunk gives him a silver dollar and gets him to play a slot machine, everything changes.” “Franklin hates everyone who can walk, and Winston hates everyone who is sober.” “Franklin hates it, but I have to admit, I’m fascinated by it. The amount of snot
that thing can suck down from one nostril is amazing.” “Franklin hates war, but it is his life.”
Hell, let’s keep going, this is fun!
Franklin punches Coach Yesutis and gave him a bloody nose because that was very funny.
Franklin opens the doors of the cabinet and pauses, looking round him suspiciously.
Franklin believes there has been a recent increase in the participation of a younger generation in same-sex activities.
Franklin screams again, praying for Death to come.
Franklin jumps from a helicopter and the bad guys fire machine guns at him.
Franklin tastes like dirt- I don’t recommend it.
Franklin has a diverse arsenal.
Franklin wishes to confine the ‘dark vast forest’ of the soul of man in a barbed-wire paddock.
Franklin knows what to expect from his foe, even with the improved war tactics.