Quotes out of Context
Me: That’s what the world needs. More cute lesbian chicks!
Her: As long as they’re 90% lesbian, of course.
Shelly, her mother, and I saw “The Recruit” last night. Not a bad movie; it’s basically “Training Day” with less urban attitude and more sleight-of-hand.
Exercise doesn’t really make you live longer…
…it just feels that way. I haven’t been to the gym this often or this consistently since…well, ever,now that I think about it. And it’s all Shelly’s fault. She’s a slavedriver.
She also has this refreshing tendency to challenge a lot of the basic assumptions kellyv and I have made in our relationship. She’s caused kellyv and I to re-examine many of the elements of our relationship, particularly with regard to what it means to be ‘primary’ or ‘secondary’ in a polyamorous relationship, and what needs those terms fill in the first place.
kellyv has always felt the need to be ‘primary’–that is, to fill a unique place in my life, to stand on the knowledge that my relationship with her in some way supercedes my other relationships. Yet she does notseem to feel threatened by Shelly, even when Shelly does things that she associates with “primary.”
What kellyv seems to value most about the idea of primacy is not so much control as uniqueness. She feels threatened if someone else wants a relationship with me that looks like the relationship I have with “lj user=”kellyv”>, and not feel threatened by someone who wants a relationship that doesn’t; that, more than anything else, is the key to “primacy” for
Since kellyv and Shelly are very, very different in many fundamental ways, including the way they approach relationships both philosophically and emotionally, kellyv has demonstrated a significant willingness to be flexible and accomodating in Shelly’s needs.
Which is, I think, a very positive and healthy thing. The three of us are growing very close as a result, and I for one am very, very happy about that.
Tis much happiness should be criminal. Really. 🙂
Still haven’t been able to get my plane in the air–most recently because I haven’t been able to reach the instructor who had been training me. I’m getting so frustrated I’m dreaming about flying it. Grr…