So I’ve been continuing to talk to L., who calls me her “Internet boy-toy” and introduced me to the wonders of phone sex–two minds and two voices and the power of imagination.

Today we talked about my relationship with my wife. My wife, of course, has always known about my dealings (or whatever one wishes to call them) with L., and L. broached the idea of talking to my wife directly–something she had never done.

She seemed a little unsure at first; if you are not accustomed to this sort of thing, what do you say to your lover’s spouse, even if your “lover” is only virtual?

She need not have bee concerned, of course. My wife is a genuinely warm and wonderful person, and she has no thought of care or dismay at the prospect of sharing my attentions, provided she is sharing them with the right person. The three of us were soon talking easily.

A bit too easily, I fear. For it soon came to pass that L. had some evil and devious ideas to share with my wife, and wished to do this thing without my eavesdropping.

L. is possessed of one of the finest and most imaginatively evil and cruel minds I have encountered in many years. Her creativity and her delicious evil are things to be marvelled at: “Now take a rubber band and two raw eggs…”

The two are conspiring even as I speak. Occasionally, I hear my wife laughing in the room upstairs.

I am very, very afraid.