Tag Archives: wtf

And from THIS corner of reality…

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I belong to an email list. Actually, I belong to several, but one of them is run by a person who, among other things, gives classes. On alien abduction.

Yes, you read that right. He gives classes. On alien abduction.

He gives classes. On alien abduction. You know, as if alien abduction were an actual event that actually occurs. In real life.

He gives classes. On alien abduction. And he offers certification. For those people who, y’know, attend his classes. On alien abduction.

*sigh*

Gullibility is a knife at the throat of civilization.

Astrologer sues NASA over Deep Impact space probe

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Yep, you read that right. A Russian astrologer has filed a $300,000,000 lawsuit against NASA, claiming that the Deep Impact probe, which intercepted comet Tempel 1, “violated her spiritual rights.”

“The experiment, in which NASA fired a projectile the size of a fridge at the comet Monday, was an attack on “the holy of holies,” Marina Bai’s law suit claims, according to Russian press reports. Her suit, filed at a Moscow court, claims violation of her “life and spiritual values.”

“In any case, it is obvious that elements of the comet’s orbit and associated ephemera will change after the explosion, which interferes with my practice of astrology and deforms my horoscope,” the Izvestia daily quoted Bai as saying.

Folks, you just can’t get enough of this sort of nuttiness for my entertainment dollar!

I think the space aliens are trying to communicate with me

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I see it everywhere–little hidden messages, secrets attempts at communication which are clearly meant only for me. They’re all around me, really. Written on scraps of paper, scrawled on the sides of buildings…I mean, what else can it be?

But I can’t figure out what they’re trying to say. Take this message, for instance, which the aliens left for me on my way to a client’s site a few days back:

What does it mean? What’s the significance of the mysterious number “452,” and where do they want me to take them to? I wish space aliens were less cryptic.

God bless the Internet

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[name withheld]: So what is polyamory? You get to fuck whoever you want?
tacitr: Not exactly. Polyamory is not about fucking anyone you want; it’s the practice of maintaining multiple simultaneous long-term, committed romantic relationships.
tacitr: It’s about relationships (which may or may not be sexual), rather than about sex.
[name withheld]: okay
[name withheld]: Do you have a picture of your cock?

Sigh.

More geeky goodness…

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This one’s for nihilus:

Running MacOS X on a 25 MHz Centris

The machine is running Linux with PearPC installed on a 25 MHz 68040, with a minimal Panther install over PearPC. It takes–are you ready for this?–seven days to boot.

Man, I bet this guy gets ALL the chicks!

I was actually considering installing PearPC on my 800MHz Pentium III system, just to see how painfully slow it’d be, but geez, after this, there’s really no point, is there? Unless i want to install it on my 2MHz TRS-80 or something…

Hurricane preparedness

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So, here we sit, waiting to get the snot beat out of us by Hurricane Charley, which the news is saying may flood downtown Tampa, knock out power for the weekend, rip the roofs off houses, and my neighbors are…

…mowing their lawn.

Pays to be prepared, I suppose. A well-tended debris field is so much nicer than an overgrown debris field, after all.

And in completely unrelated news, I want to make a vampire movie starring Gary Busey as a vampire. He’d be an excellent antidote to angst-ridden, whiny, introspective, Anne Rice postmodern vampires, don’t you think?

Got a pointy hat with bells? Need a job?

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The British government is now advertising for the position of court jester, a position which has been unfilled since 1649.

I wonder if the job comes with all the traditional perks–and risks. I can just picture Prince Charles beheading a jester who fails to amuse…

Several disjointed random musings

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Things that make you go “Hmmm”

Client: I don’t like these Apple optical mice.
Me: Why not? What don’t you like about them?
Client: This will be the second time I’ve had to replace my mouse.
Me: Really? What’s wrong with it?
Client: There’s a rat somewhere in my garage. It keeps eating the cord.

God bless Florida building contractors

I may have a job for a client running telephone and/or cable TV cables through his house. Brand-new 4,400-square-foot, half-million-dollar place and the contractor…

…forgot to run the cable for phone and television…

…and doesn’t want to pay for it. Unfreakingreal.

And in good news…

…we signed the lease on the new apartment today! It’s a gorgeous 3-bedroom loft, with a beautiful space in the loft area for setting up the bondage equipment. It’d make a wonderful place for hosting small, intimate play parties. I can hardly wait to move in.

And now for something completely different.

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In the “things that make you go ‘huh’ category…it’s long been postulated that an infinite number of monkeys typing on an infinitie number of typewriters will produce the works of Shakespeare, but I suspect they’d be more likely to produce something like this.

“Place a 100 people within this Cubic like room and they will not increase the number of corners anymore than 6 billion people on Earth will increase the 4 corners of Earth. It is dumb, stupid, evil and unworthy of life on Earth to claim that this Creation Cube has 6 sides –  or no top and bottom.
Academia equates to a deadly plague.”

…uh, yeah. What he said.