So, the guy who smacked into me at a red light and then foolishly tried to run pleaded guilty to all counts against him. I still can’t figure out what his deal was; guess he didn’t know those funny numbers on that metal deal on the back of his car could actually be used to find him…

His insurance company gave me a rental while my car is in the shop.

A Geo Metro. 3-cylinder engine, zero to sixty in about seventeen hours. I feel like I’m going to break the damn thing every time I open the door. Merging into freeway traffic is nothing short of harrowing. The car is clumsy, desperately underpowered, and slow. “Handling” is more or less theoretical; by “handling,” the designers mean “It goes in the general direction it’s pointed and won’t usually slide off the road without provocation.” I want my del Sol back!

Been a productive week other than that, though. The final plastics for the Symphony, the Internet-operated sex toy lordfuckbeast and I are working on, are done. Here’s what the final unit looks like:

Pretty, isn’t it?

I’m also making progress on the radio-control plane kellyv got me for my birthday. The easy work is about done; still a lot of hard work left to do, though.

By way of scale, it’s five feet wingtip to wingtip. I can hardly wait to get it finished and learn to fly it…

I still have to finish printing this shoot, and two others besides, and have had NO time to get in the darkroom. *sigh*

Yesterday was kellyv and my anniversary. Six years married, and I’d marry her all over again.

L. sent us the most gorgeous anniversary cake I’ve ever seen. She’s so amazing, and I feel very, very lucky to have them both in my life. In many ways, L. has enriched both of our lives, and she’s even been a catalyst to make Kelly and I reexamine some of the terms of our relationship. I love them both very much.

Like most people these days, I am constantly barraged with spam, the curse of the Internet. I usually spend about an hour a day tracking down the people who send me spam, and having their Web sites shut down. I can follow the spammers through blind redirectors, through “encrypted” Web sites that try to conceal their contents with lame systems like HTMLcrypt, and in some cases I have even tracked down the credit card processing companies and merchant banks of some of the more obnoxious spammers and had their merchant accounts suspended.

So, I read a lot of spam.

Last night, a priceless gem of an email landed in my mailbox promoting an “All Anal Hardcore Site!!!!!!!!!”. The most priceless thing about this particular spam was that it was written by someone obviously unfamiliar with the English language. To wit:

“One of them spoke- “…if you don’t ending, fuck me to anus. It’s my tightest hole…” Her advice is good! I got birth the glass of sperm after reading. And what you will do?”

That’s taken verbatim from the text. All your anus are belong to us? I know that if I don’t ending, I’ve always been fond of giving birth the glass of Mountain Dew, but to each his own…

Got a call from the police detective assigned to my hit-and-run case today. They tracked the guy down, and are going to prosecute him; AND his insurance will pay for all the damage to my car, no quibbles.

=====

Yesterday, driving back from a client’s, I passed an Italian restaurant with a sign out front reading “SPAGHETTI GOD HAS BLESSED AMERICA”. I’ve been trying to puzzle out its meaning ever since.

Are they saying that America has been blessed with spaghetti? (“And God said “Let there be spaghetti…”) Or is the message a declaration that the Spaghetti God has bestowed his blessing on America? And if it’s the latter, what does the Linguini God have to say on the subject? How does one receive the blessing of the Spaghetti God, anyway? No, wait, skip that, I don’t want to know.

And if there really is a Spaghetti God, does that mean his Adversary is…antipasta?

No, wait, scratch that, reverse it.

Busy busy busy busy couple of weeks, with nary a bit of wiggle room to breathe.

The good:

Two-day PolyCentral party last weekend. All the way across the state, but it was worth the drive. Fifty or so poly folk, three cheesecakes that were to die for (my favorite: banana cheesecake…mmm!), and the beach.

Photo shoots.

My plane is coming! My plane is coming! They finally shipped my radio-controlled plane, two months on back order. Should be here tomorrow.

Emperor of Dune, real-time strategy from the people who wrote Command & Conquer and Red Alert 2.

The bad:

Some motherfucker who rear-ended me and then ran. Got his license tag, though. Reported him to the cops, too. Minor damage to the car, if he would’ve stuck around I probably wouldn’t have even reported it. but no, he had to be an asshole, so now he’s got legal trouble. Dick.

Photo shoots? Still haven’t had time to contact the negs, much less start printing yet. I’m SERIOUSLY overdue for some darkroom work. *sigh*

The good (again):

Spending lots of time with kellyv and playing with L.–we’ve got a good start on figuring out how to make a long-distance relationship work. (Webcams! Yay!)

Successfully solved all my father’s various and sundry computer problems–added RAM and a CD recorder, fixed his Webcam (corrupt firmware), solved his boot problem (he had almost 30 programs(!) loading at startup…), and only killed a day doing it.

Saw a truck with a painted slogan on the back: “Kill All terrorists now!” Some people are so dumb…

It’s late. I’m tired. More later.

L. is a very, very, very evil girlfriend.

That is all.

Back in the day, Apple made a computer called the Apple //c, which came with a tiny 9″ black and green monitor that had, for some strange reason I can’t identify, a composite video jack on the back.

What that means is you can feed a regular TV signal, like from a DVD player or VCR, into the monitor, and you’ll see a coarse, green and black picture. No sound, but you’ll see the picture.

Yesterday evening, I mentioned this to my friend Eric, who immediately demanded that we watch the DVD version of The Matrix on it. And yes, it rocks! The Matrix was MADE to be seen this way.

Then it occured to me that my digital camera has a standard video-out jack on it. And yes, connecting my digital camera to the monitor produced a weird, low-resolution green-and-black picture.

So I grabbed my wife’s video camera, and took a picture of the picture being played back from my video camera. The result:

I really like this effect. I think I’m going to use it in a shoot I’m doing this week. I want to put an image of the model on the green and black monitor and have her holding the monitor during the shoot.

I’ve sepnt much of the week working very late–until midnight on Thursday and until four AM Friday–preparing a multimedia project for–get this–a church.

A client is a client, I suppose, even if that client holds views opposed to mine.

In other news, kellyv and I were able to catch the new Star Wars movie. I had very slim hopes for this one, after the unmitigated, howling-dog, train-wreck disaster that was The Phantom menace, so I was pleasantly surprised.

First, the bad:

George Lucas has no ear for dialog. Put plain and simple, his dialog, in places, stinks.

The love scenes were wooden, poorly-directed, awkward, and unconvincing–a jarring contrast to the flow amd pacing of the rest of the movie.

Now, the good:

Visually, this movie is stunning. It’s nothing short of gorgeous, both in scope and execution.

The new movie does not suffer from the pacing problems or logic flaws of the Phantom Menace. It keeps moving, stays interesting, and tells an engaging story.

Lucas got the marketing hype under control for this one. There’s no cutesy made-for-Mattel characters, no golden product-advertising shots; it’s driven by story and character, not marketing tie-ins. And this movie is 97% Jar-Jar-free!

In short, he gets right a lot of things he got dismally wrong in Phantom Menace. See it; it’s a good movie.

So feorlen tells me the Apple Design Award winner int eh Open Source category is a front-end to TeX.

Oh, for God’s sake.

C’mon people, grow the fuck up. This is the new millennium. There have been superior typesetting tools to TeX since…oh, I don’t know, about 1990 or so.

The Unix world is amazing. Instead of TTY terminals, Unix users now run a GUI so they can open a dozen TTY terminal windows. Instead of WYSIWYG editors, Unix people still cling to antiquated systems like TeX and Scribe. Until Apple came along, nobody had ever written a GUI for *nix that was worth a goddamn anyway.

ATTENTION, LINUX AND UNIX USERS:

Linux will never beat Windows ont eh desktop until my father can install it and make it work. Got that?

Yes, Linux is technically superior to Windows. Yes, it’s more stable. Yes, it’s more efficient. But guess what? XWindows sucks. The Red Hat installer sucks. The productivity software, for the most part, sucks.

Clue-by-four time: Desktop users do not LIKE to have to make kernel mods. They don’t WANT to drop down to a command line to find out what’s up with the cable modem not responding. They want to turn the computer on and make it go.

I’ve been using computers in general since 1976. I’ve owned two PDP systems (as in, in my house). I’ve been using Unix since before most Linux hackers were born. I can code in assembly language as fast as I can type. And you know what? It takes me 20 minutes to set up a MacOS or ‘Doze system and all friggin’ WEEKEND to set up a Linux system. Not because I don’t know Linux, but because every piece of hardware that’s at all unusual means a trip to Google and an hour of configuration hell–and God help you if you’re installing on a laptop.

Writing installers and GUI middleware isn’t sexy and wins you no “cool points” with the open source community the way a nifty kernel hack does, but until someone gets it working easily enough that my barely-computer-literate dad can make it work, Linux is going to continue to have its clock cleaned on the desktop. Got it?

We now return you to your regularly scheduled LiveJournal activity.