Her: You know, Frankin, your ideal girlfriend is probably a marriage-minded, monogamous lesbian.
This seems to have been a trend: many of the women in my life are women who wouldn’t appear, on first glance, to be well-suited to me. They’re monogamous by nature, or they’re lesbian by nature…
Lori is monogamous by nature. This is making our relationship very difficult, in no small measure because kellyv is not comfortable with the idea of me having a monogamous girlfriend. Lori, naturally, is not overjoyed at the prospect of sharing me, and I am not thrilled with the distance between us–I’ve never been good at long-distance relationships.
I’ve always been attracted to people who are different from me. Maybe it’s because I have more to learn from someone who’s different from me than from someone who’s just like me…or maybe it’s because I like surprises. I’ve also always thrived on chaos; defined roles in a relationship have never been important to me. Unfortunately, they are important to Lori, and to Kelly.
And yet, for all that, I still haven’t given up on the idea of finding a way to make this work for everyone. So does that make me determined, or foolish?
nah, you’re just in good company
Creative. Great men before you say:
“You can’t solve a problem with the same mind that created it.” (Einstein)
“We are all faced with great opportunities, brilliantly disguised as unsolvable problems.” (John W. Gardner)
and my fav when I’m feeling overwhelmed:
“I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it.”
(Pablo Picasso)
nah, you’re just in good company
Creative. Great men before you say:
“You can’t solve a problem with the same mind that created it.” (Einstein)
“We are all faced with great opportunities, brilliantly disguised as unsolvable problems.” (John W. Gardner)
and my fav when I’m feeling overwhelmed:
“I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it.”
(Pablo Picasso)
Well, since you asked..
Both. 🙂
But IMHO, It seems to me that there are several good reasons not to date Lori, unless she can make radical changes. As much as you might both want to be together, you have a prior commitments to honor. Realising that you do not share the same ideals is a good reason not to be romanticaly involved with someone.
heh.. but you know me…
Well, since you asked..
Both. 🙂
But IMHO, It seems to me that there are several good reasons not to date Lori, unless she can make radical changes. As much as you might both want to be together, you have a prior commitments to honor. Realising that you do not share the same ideals is a good reason not to be romanticaly involved with someone.
heh.. but you know me…
Re: Well, since you asked..
.. I’m kind of at a loss as to what you want from me here. The only thing I know about the situation is from this post, which does not imply that you were dishonoring their commitments.
It does point out two major difficulties. Whether or not you all chose to work them out is up to you.
My comment “but, you know me” was a nod to the fact that Tacit’s read my LJ long enough to know that I tend to take a hard edge when it comes to relationships. I don’t expect other’s to change for me, and I don’t make changes myself that put me out unduly. I look for people who’s values naturally harmonize with mine. I generally advise people to end a situation that requires a lot of compromise on anyone’s part.
One thing I do think, is that even though permission be given at one point, this does not mean that it should be extended beyond the point of *too much* difficulty in the relationship. He does ultimately have a larger commitment to his primary, and he may be dishonoring it, even though you are following all the established rules, by not considering her first.
The risk of being secondary, is that your relationship is ultimately only as secure as the primary feels.
Remember, this is only my opinion. I wish you all the best, and success working things out to everyone’s satisfaction. 🙂
Re: Well, since you asked..
.. I’m kind of at a loss as to what you want from me here. The only thing I know about the situation is from this post, which does not imply that you were dishonoring their commitments.
It does point out two major difficulties. Whether or not you all chose to work them out is up to you.
My comment “but, you know me” was a nod to the fact that Tacit’s read my LJ long enough to know that I tend to take a hard edge when it comes to relationships. I don’t expect other’s to change for me, and I don’t make changes myself that put me out unduly. I look for people who’s values naturally harmonize with mine. I generally advise people to end a situation that requires a lot of compromise on anyone’s part.
One thing I do think, is that even though permission be given at one point, this does not mean that it should be extended beyond the point of *too much* difficulty in the relationship. He does ultimately have a larger commitment to his primary, and he may be dishonoring it, even though you are following all the established rules, by not considering her first.
The risk of being secondary, is that your relationship is ultimately only as secure as the primary feels.
Remember, this is only my opinion. I wish you all the best, and success working things out to everyone’s satisfaction. 🙂