The life of a sociopathic British secret agent isn’t what it used to be. Time was when you could expect that evil supervillains bent on making doomsday weapons from their space lab in space could be counted on to invite you in for dinner, explain the entirety of their sinister plan to you, and then concoct some ridiculously over-the-top way to kill you while they conveniently absented themselves from the room to deal with pressing matters elsewhere.

Alas, times change, and even the most dense of today’s modern supervillain has become wise to the various flaws in this otherwise cunning course of action. Previous James Bonds have had the luxury of knowing that the supervillains they faced, while no doubt quite super and unparalleled in their villainy, were perhaps a few bricks short of a deck in the “dealing with British secret agents” department.

And so a new James Bond was needed. A tougher James Bond. A more resourceful James Bond. A James Bond with a steely gaze.

And that James Bond is back for another romp through the gardens of man’s inhumanity to man in the delightful little movie Spectre, featuring car chases, explosions, sinister villains, fluffy Persian cats, acting, plot, and dialogue.

The movie goes something like this:

RANDOM HOT WOMAN: Oh, James, ravish me! Ravish me now!
DANIEL CRAIG: Hm.

DANIEL CRAIG takes off his SKELETAL COSTUME and goes out the WINDOW onto the ROOF OF THE BUILDING in pursuit of a MAN IN A DIFFERENT SKELETAL COSTUME that is NOT THE SAME as DANIEL CRAIG’S SKELETAL COSTUME

MAN IN THE DIFFERENT SKELETAL COSTUME: Let us blow up the stadium and then go see the Pale King, because we are villains in a James Bond movie and so we can not assume that our co-conspirators know what we’re conspiring about and we need lots of exposition to establish that we’re the bad guys.
RANDOM BODYGUARD: There is a man listening to us from the top of the roof outside our window. I think he may be James Bond.
MAN IN THE DIFFERENT SKELETAL COSTUME: Well, shoot at him, then! Isn’t that what I pay you for?

A bunch of people shoot at DANIEL CRAIG

DANIEL CRAIG: Hm.

DANIEL CRAIG shoots the BOMB they wanted to use to BLOW UP THE STADIUM. The entire building CRACKS and then FALLS OVER onto DANIEL CRAIG, who fixes the crumbling building with a STEELY GAZE

DANIEL CRAIG: Hm.

DANIEL CRAIG slides through the CRUMBLING WRECKAGE and lands on a CHAIR, then pursues the MAN IN A DIFFERENT SKELETAL COSTUME through the streets of MEXICO CITY

MAN IN THE DIFFERENT SKELETAL COSTUME: James Bond is chasing me! Meet me in the square!

A HELICOPTER lands in the SQUARE and picks up the MAN IN THE DIFFERENT SKELETAL COSTUME. DANIEL CRAIG fixes the HELICOPTER with a STEELY GAZE and then HOPS ABOARD. They have a WILD FIGHT. The helicopter goes UPSIDE DOWN

DANIEL CRAIG: Hm.

DANIEL CRAIG steals a RING, throws everyone else OUT of the HELICOPTER to their GRUESOME DEATHS, and then FLIES AWAY into the SUNSET

The rest is down here! Beware, here be spoilers.

M: Daniel Craig, how come you blew up a building in Mexico City and then threw some people out of a helicopter? That wasn’t very nice.
DANIEL CRAIG: They were bad people.
M: You’re not supposed to kill bad people without permission. Your new boss is not going to approve.
PROFESSOR MORIARTY: I’m your new boss, and I do not approve. You should not blow up buildings and throw people out of helicopters without permission. Also, I am going to persuade all the world’s intelligence agencies to pool data on everyone, because there’s no way that can possibly go wrong.
DANIEL CRAIG: I will call you C.
PROFESSOR MORIARTY: What does C stand for?
DANIEL CRAIG: I’m British. You figure it out.
M: Go talk to Q.

DANIEL CRAIG goes to talk to Q

Q: I’m going to shoot little machines into your blood that let us track you wherever you are in the world.
DANIEL CRAIG: Wait, what? A way to track a secret agent anywhere in the world? Isn’t that kind of stupid?
Q: Just following orders.
DANIEL CRAIG: Were these made by the same people who make Linksys routers? Because if they were, they have crap security and anyone anywhere can hack in.
Q: Orders.
DANIEL CRAIG: Plus, how are they powered? Do you really expect me to believe a microscopic device with no power supply can communicate with a satellite, which is the only way you’d be able to track me anywhere that doesn’t have established infrastructure?
Q: Orders! Following them!
DANIEL CRAIG: But this makes no sense from a technical standpoint or as a plot device. It–
Q: Look at this car! Isn’t it pretty?

DANIEL CRAIG: Ooh, it is pretty!
Q: It’s not for you. You get a watch. You can use it to make sure you’re on time for not-blowing-up-buildings and not-throwing-people-out-of-helicopters.
MISS HARRIS-MONEYPENNY: I have a box of stuff that we took from the old intelligence headquarters that blew up and your house that blew up.
DANIEL CRAIG: Bring it to my house tonight.
MISS HARRIS-MONEYPENNY: That place isn’t going to blow up too, is it?
DANIEL CRAIG: Hm.
MISS HARRIS-MONEYPENNY: I’m just sayin’, you and places…

MISS HARRIS-MONEYPENNY meets DANIEL CRAIG at HIS PLACE, which is a total DUMP

MISS HARRIS-MONEYPENNY: Here is some stuff.
DANIEL CRAIG: Judi Dench told me to kill the man in the other skeletal costume and then go to his funeral. I am going to his funeral. In Rome.
MISS HARRIS-MONEYPENNY: Are you going to throw anyone out of a helicopter?
DANIEL CRAIG: No promises. I need you to cover for me and feed me information.
MISS HARRIS-MONEYPENNY: But that could get me into a lot of trouble!
DANIEL CRAIG: Like I care. I’m a sociopath, remember?
MISS HARRIS-MONEYPENNY: Oh, right.

DANIEL CRAIG steals the AMAZING CAR and goes to ROME, leaving in its place a bottle of CHAMPAGNE like he’s some sort of demented sociopathic MAGPIE or something

Q: Huh. I wonder if maybe we should have put a tracking device in the car instead of in the secret agent’s bloodstream. This had better be a damn good bottle of champagne. Just sayin’.

DANIEL CRAIG: Hello. Nice funeral. Come here often?
MONICA BELUCCI: Are you the dude who threw my husband out of a helicopter?
DANIEL CRAIG: Maybe. Will you have sex with me if I am?
MONICA BELUCCI: Maybe.
DANIEL CRAIG: Your husband was a bad dude.
MONICA BELUCCI: Story of my life. There was this one French guy I was with…

MONICA BELUCCI’S BODYGUARDS try to ASSASSINATE her. DANIEL CRAIG fixes them with a STEELY GAZE and then SHOOTS THEM

MONICA BELUCCI: Oh, James, ravish me! Ravish me now!
DANIEL CRAIG: Okay.

They RAVISH. The RAVISHING takes place OFF-SCREEN because this is a JAMES BOND MOVIE and the PRODUCERS of JAMES BOND MOVIES are PRUDES

MONICA BELUCCI: My husband, who you threw out of a helicopter, was part of a secret organization that, conveniently, is having a meeting tonight right here in Rome. You should not go to the meeting.
DANIEL CRAIG: I will go to the meeting.
MONICA BELUCCI: Okay.

DANIEL CRAIG goes to the MEETING of the SINISTER SECRET ORGANIZATION. It is like a meeting on WALL STREET, except that they talk about CRIMINAL ACTIVITY…so, basically, exactly like a meeting on WALL STREET

SINISTER SECRET ORGANIZATION LEADER: Who wants to be promoted to replace the dude who got thrown out of a helicopter? Your first job will be to go kill someone.
RANDOM DUDE: Me.
RANDOM OTHER DUDE: No, me.
SINISTER SECRET ORGANIZATION LEADER: What are your job qualifications, random other dude?
RANDOM OTHER DUDE: This.

The RANDOM OTHER DUDE gouges out the RANDOM DUDE’S EYES and then KILLS HIM

SINISTER SECRET ORGANIZATION LEADER: I was thinking more like presenting your CV. What do you think this is, Wall Street or something?
RANDOM OTHER DUDE: Wait, it’s not? The way we were just talking about destroying people’s lives for profit, I thought I was applying for a middle management position at JPMorgan Chase.
SINISTER SECRET ORGANIZATION LEADER: You can still have the job.
RANDOM OTHER DUDE: Okay.
SINISTER SECRET ORGANIZATION LEADER: James Bond is here.
RANDOM OTHER DUDE: Can I kill him?
SINISTER SECRET ORGANIZATION LEADER: Sure.

JAMES BOND jumps into the AMAZING CAR and drives AWAY. The RANDOM OTHER DUDE jumps into a SLIGHTLY LESS AMAZING CAR and chases AFTER HIM. HILARITY ensues. A guy in a FIAT gets REAR-ENDED and it is FUNNY

ME: Hey, waitaminute. There are no other cars and no pedestrians anywhere on any of the streets. I’ve been to Rome and it is like, wall-to-wall cars and people 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Every street and alley look like this at 2 AM on a Thursday night:

PRODUCERS: STFU. This is an American movie made for Americans in America. Americans can’t even point to Rome on a map. Nobody is going to know that this could never happen in Rome.

DANIEL CRAIG dumps the AMAZING CAR into a CANAL

M: There’s an amazing car on TV getting dumped into a canal in Rome. Are you sure this isn’t James Bond’s doing?
Q: Fancy some champagne?
DANIEL CRAIG: There is a sinister group of shadowy criminals who is profiting by making other people suffer–
MISS HARRIS-MONEYPENNY: You mean JPMorgan Chase?
DANIEL CRAIG: No, no, a different sinister group of shadowy criminals who is profiting by making other people suffer. Easy mistake to make though. Can you tell me who the Pale King is?
MISS HARRIS-MONEYPENNY: Yes. He’s Mister White.
DANIEL CRAIG: What is Franz Oberhauser up to these days?
MISS HARRIS-MONEYPENNY: He’s dead.
DANIEL CRAIG: No, I mean after that.
MISS HARRIS-MONEYPENNY: I don’t know, I’ll have to check.

DANIEL CRAIG goes to visit MISTER WHITE

MISTER WHITE: I have been poisoned with thallium.
DANIEL CRAIG: Whew! That’s a lucky break and no mistake.
MISTER WHITE: I know, right? It’s a slow, agonizing, horrible–wait, what?
DANIEL CRAIG: Well, if they’d poisoned you with cyanide you would be dead already and I would not be able to get information from you.
MISTER WHITE: You are a psychotic bastard, you know that?
DANIEL CRAIG: Yes.
MISTER WHITE: I have a daughter. I want you to rescue her.
DANIEL CRAIG: Is she beautiful?
MISTER WHITE: She’s rich.
DANIEL CRAIG: Rich?
MISTER WHITE: Rich, powerful. Listen, if you were to rescue her, the reward would be…
DANIEL CRAIG: What?
MISTER WHITE: Look, this dialog is wedging.
DANIEL CRAIG: Give me information to advance the plot and I will give you my word I will take care of your daughter. And by “my word” I mean “my gun,” and by “take care of your daughter” I mean “watch you shoot yourself, and then have sex with your daughter.”
MISTER WHITE: Anything is better than this dialog. Tell my daughter to take you to L’Americain.
DANIEL CRAIG: Okay.

MISTER WHITE shoots HIMSELF. MISTER BLONDE cuts off the POLICE OFFICER’S EAR. MISTER ORANGE shoots MISTER BLONDE. MISTER PINK runs out of the WAREHOUSE with the DIAMONDS. The POLICE shoot MISTER PINK. DANIEL CRAIG goes to see MISTER WHITE’S DAUGHTER

MISTER WHITE’S DAUGHTER: Hi there, my name is–
DANIEL CRAIG: It doesn’t matter what your name is. You’re a Bond girl. It’s not like your name is what anyone cares about.
MISTER WHITE’S DAUGHTER: But I have a doctorate!
DANIEL CRAIG: So? It is completely irrelevant to the plot. The only thing that matters is you will give me information to advance the plot and then you will have sex with me.
MISTER WHITE’S DAUGHTER: I will not have sex with you.
DANIEL CRAIG: That’s what they all say.

MISTER WHITE’S DAUGHTER: You didn’t fill out your occupation on your intake paperwork.
DANIEL CRAIG: I am a government assassin. I am here to help you. I kill people. Do you have anyone you need killed?
MISTER WHITE’S DAUGHTER: No. Go away.
DANIEL CRAIG: You say that now. You’ll want me back. They always do.
Q: I have come here to tell you you’ve put me in a really awkward spot at work.
DANIEL CRAIG: Like I care. I’m a sociopath, remember?
Q: Oh, right.
DANIEL CRAIG: It’s a good thing you’re here. Analyze this ring I took from a guy I threw out of the helicopter.
Q: Why did you take a ring from a guy you threw out of a helicopter?
DANIEL CRAIG: Plot.
Q: One of these days I will read the script. Then I, too, will know about plot.

BAD GUYS kidnap MISTER WHITE’S DAUGHTER right from under DANIEL CRAIG’S NOSE

MISTER WHITE’S DAUGHTER: Remember how I said there wasn’t anyone I would like you to kill?
DANIEL CRAIG: Yes?
MISTER WHITE’S DAUGHTER: I changed my mind.
DANIEL CRAIG: They always do.

DANIEL CRAIG gets in an AIRPLANE and chases the BAD GUYS through an ALPINE FOREST, then flies between TREES and chops the WINGS off the AIRPLANE and chases the BAD GUYS on the GROUND

DANIEL CRAIG: Oh, what a day! What a lovely day!

DANIEL CRAIG rams the BAD GUYS’ SUV with the AIRPLANE and rescues MISTER WHITE’S DAUGHTER

MISTER WHITE’S DAUGHTER: I will take you to L’American.
Q: I have analyzed the ring. It contains DNA from all of your adversaries. Apparently they have all met and exchanged DNA. Lucky for us, eh?
DANIEL CRAIG: Being a supervillain or a secret agent involves exchanging lots of DNA. You get used to it.
MISTER WHITE’S DAUGHTER: You will not exchange DNA with me.
DANIEL CRAIG: That’s what they all say.
Q: If all of your enemies have exchanged DNA, they must all work for the same organization. It’s logic!
DANIEL CRAIG: Wait, what? How does that make any sense?
MISTER WHITE’S DAUGHTER: He’s right. The organization is called Spectre.
DANIEL CRAIG: You mean you knew that this whole time? You could have said something four scenes ago and saved us all a lot of hassle?
MISTER WHITE’S DAUGHTER: A woman can’t be too easy.

M: I do not believe that Daniel Craig is really in London.
PROFESSOR MORIARTY: That’s why they give you the big bucks. Hey, everyone, give me access to all your intelligence.
JAPAN: Okay.
UNITED STATES: Okay.
CANADA: Okay.
NEW ZEALAND: Okay.
SOUTH AFRICA: No.

DANIEL CRAIG: Take me to L’American.
MISTER WHITE’S DAUGHTER: Okay.

DANIEL CRAIG and MISTER WHITE’S DAUGHTER go to L’AMERICAN, which is a SEEDY HOTEL in TANGIER. DANIEL CRAIG searches the ROOM and finds some BOOZE

DANIEL CRAIG: Let’s get drunk.
MISTER WHITE’S DAUGHTER: No.
DANIEL CRAIG: I’ll take off my shirt like Vladimir Putin in all those pictures.

MISTER WHITE’S DAUGHTER: Okay.

They get DRUNK. DANIEL CRAIG takes off his SHIRT like VLADIMIR PUTIN in all those PICTURES

AMERICAN RIGHT: *swoon* Vladimir Putin is so dreamy! We love old-school totalitarians like Vladimir. Especially when he is not wearing a shirt.
DONALD TRUMP: What about if I take off my shirt? Will you love me then, too?
AMERICAN RIGHT: Will you promise to blame everything on Muslims?
DONALD TRUMP: I will blame everything on Muslims.
AMERICAN RIGHT: Will you promise to deport brown people?
DONALD TRUMP: I will forcibly deport brown people. I will deport the hell out of brown people. I will set up camps and run trains to deport brown people.
AMERICAN RIGHT: We just love it when you talk dirty!
MISTER WHITE’S DAUGHTER: I’m drunk, but I am not going to have sex with you.
DANIEL CRAIG: Oh! Oh, wait, I know this! I had that one sensitivity and consent class that one time. No, wait, don’t tell me…if she says she won’t have sex with me, then I…ooh! I know this! I…I don’t have sex with her! Is that right?

A MOUSE walks across the floor. DANIEL CRAIG threatens the MOUSE with his GUN and then beats down a WALL with his BARE HANDS while still not wearing a SHIRT

MISTER WHITE’S DAUGHTER: What are you doing?
DANIEL CRAIG: I am beating down a wall with my bare hands without wearing a shirt in order to advance the plot. Look, I found a secret room ! Your father made it. I can tell because it has pictures of you. They will soften your emotions toward him and, by transference, toward me. Also, there is a vintage laptop here that totally still works. It says we should go to the middle of nowhere in the desert.
MISTER WHITE’S DAUGHTER: Wait, what? How do you know all that?
DANIEL CRAIG: I read the script. Let’s get on a train to the middle of nowhere in the desert.
MISTER WHITE’S DAUGHTER: Okay.

They get on a TRAIN heading to the MIDDLE OF NOWHERE in the DESERT. Some BAD GUYS bomb the HOLY HELL out of SOUTH AFRICA

SOUTH AFRICA: We have changed our mind. We will join your intelligence-gathering cabal.
PROFESSOR MORIARTY: God damn, that works every time.

MISTER WHITE’S DAUGHTER puts on a SLINKY DRESS and has DINNER on the TRAIN with DANIEL CRAIG. The dialog WEDGES

RANDOM OTHER DUDE: This dialog sucks. I will kill you now!

There is a FIGHT. Furniture BREAKS. Guns GO OFF. Nobody on the train comes to INVESTIGATE. DANIEL CRAIG throws the RANDOM OTHER DUDE out of the TRAIN

MISTER WHITE’S DAUGHTER: He was right, that dialog did suck.
DANIEL CRAIG: Hm.
MISTER WHITE’S DAUGHTER: What should we do now?

They FUCK, because this is a JAMES BOND MOVIE and female CHARACTERS are there for JAMES BOND to FUCK

Q: Daniel Craig is going to a secret base hidden in a crater in the desert!
M: Do you mind? I’m eating.
MISS HARRIS-MONEYPENNY: Secret evil lair! In a crater! In the desert!
M: Mmm-hmm. Secret lair, sinister plot, whatever. I’m sure he can get it all sorted.

The train STOPS in the middle of the DESERT. MISTER WHITE’S DAUGHTER and DANIEL CRAIG get OFF after they get OFF, hur hur hur. DANIEL CRAIG fixes the DESERT with a STEELY GAZE

MISTER WHITE’S DAUGHTER: A car is coming!

DANIEL CRAIG fixes the CAR with a STEELY GAZE

CHAUFFER: This way, please.

They drive out to the SECRET LAIR of the EVIL SUPERVILLAIN, because even in a JAMES BOND REBOOT, some things never CHANGE

SINISTER SECRET ORGANIZATION LEADER: Look, I have a meteorite! It is a powerful and unstoppable force that–
DANIEL CRAIG: Wait, what? You have it because it stopped. It was not an unstoppable force.
SINISTER SECRET ORGANIZATION LEADER: What I mean is–
DANIEL CRAIG: No, seriously, listen. It’s a meteorite. That means it hit the ground and stopped. It stopped moving. That’s why you have it. You wouldn’t have it if it was unstoppable, because–
SINISTER SECRET ORGANIZATION LEADER: This dialog sucks.

DANIEL CRAIG gets KNOCKED OUT and wakes up TIED TO A CHAIR

SINISTER SECRET ORGANIZATION LEADER: Do you remember your safeword?
DANIEL CRAIG: What?
SINISTER SECRET ORGANIZATION LEADER: Thought not. Okay, I am going to drill holes in your head randomly, because apparently that will make you forget who Mister White’s Daughter is. And then I am going to kill you, after you forget who Mister White’s Daughter is. It’s important to me that you forget who Mister White’s Daughter is because reasons, and also I like exposition.
MISTER WHITE’S DAUGHTER: Dude, WTF?
SINISTER SECRET ORGANIZATION LEADER: When I was a little kid, Daniel Craig’s parents were killed. My dad adopted him, and I’ve had daddy issues ever since. So I killed my dad, started a secret world-spanning criminal empire, murdered every person who ever had sex with Daniel Craig–which was no small task, let me tell you, that man has the stamina of an ox and gets around like a bicycle wheel–and oh yeah, I acquired a controlling share in JPMorgan Chase.
MISTER WHITE’S DAUGHTER: You take daddy issues to a whole new level.
SINISTER SECRET ORGANIZATION LEADER: Go big or go home, amirite?
MISTER WHITE’S DAUGHTER: James, I love you.
DANIEL CRAIG: Hm.
SINISTER SECRET ORGANIZATION LEADER: Now I will drill more holes in Daniel Craig’s head while I make cuckoo noises.
DANIEL CRAIG: This dialog sucks. Plus I’m tired of having holes drilled in my head. Use my watch to blow up the sinister secret organization leader.
MISTER WHITE’S DAUGHTER: Okay.

MISTER WHITE’S DAUGHTER uses the WATCH to blow up the SINISTER SECRET ORGANIZATION LEADER. DANIEL CRAIG picks up a MACHINE GUN and SHOOTS PEOPLE, which is remarkable because in the LAST MOVIE they told us he can’t hit the BROAD SIDE of a BARN

MISTER WHITE’S DAUGHTER: Let’s get out of here.
DANIEL CRAIG: But I’m having fun shooting people. Remember, sociopath? Assassin?
MISTER WHITE’S DAUGHTER: Don’t make me fix you with a steely gaze.
DANIEL CRAIG: Oh, very well.

DANIEL CRAIG shoots the handle of a GAS PIPE and the entire SECRET BASE EXPLODES because REASONS and also PLOT, but no FIRE SUPPRESSION SYSTEMS or ANTI-FLASHBACK DEVICES. DANIEL CRAIG steals a HELICOPTER and they fly off into the SUNSET

DANIEL CRAIG: Let’s go save the world.
M: Okay.
MISS HARRIS-MONEYPENNY: Okay.
Q: Okay.
MISTER WHITE’S DAUGHTER: No.
DANIEL CRAIG: Wait, what?
MISTER WHITE’S DAUGHTER: I can’t be part of this world, with all the killing and helicopter-throwing and secret-lair-blowing-up-and stuff.
DANIEL CRAIG: Really?
MISTER WHITE’S DAUGHTER: Ha! Ha! Ha! No. I need an opportunity to get captured so you can come rescue me again.
DANIEL CRAIG: Oh, right.

DANIEL CRAIG and M and MISS HARRIS-MONEYPENNY and Q all RIDE OFF to SAVE THE WORLD but get AMBUSHED instead. DANIEL CRAIG is CAPTURED

DANIEL CRAIG: How did you know exactly where I would be to capture me?
SINISTER SECRET ORGANIZATION LEADER: I read the script.
DANIEL CRAIG: Oh, right.
SINISTER SECRET ORGANIZATION LEADER: I have hurt you. And I wish to go on hurting you. I shall leave you as you left me, as you left her; marooned for all eternity in the center of a dead planet… buried alive.
DANIEL CRAIG: Really?
SINISTER SECRET ORGANIZATION LEADER: No. I’m actually going to blow up this building with you and that girl–what was her name again?
DANIEL CRAIG: I don’t remember. The latest one. Mister White’s daughter.
SINISTER SECRET ORGANIZATION LEADER: Yeah, her. Anyway, I’m going to blow up the building with you and her in it while I watch from a helicopter. Now watch as I chortle evilly and start a countdown timer running! There always has to be a countdown timer.

The SINISTER SECRET ORGANIZATION LEADER chortles EVILLY and starts a COUNTDOWN TIMER RUNNING, because there always has to be a COUNTDOWN TIMER

DANIEL CRAIG: Mister White’s daughter! I am here to rescue you.
MISTER WHITE’S DAUGHTER: I have a name, you know! It’s–
DANIEL CRAIG: We have no time for that. We must escape just in the nick of time and then go get the bad guy.

They ESCAPE just in the nick of TIME. DANIEL CRAIG shoots the SINISTER SECRET ORGANIZATION LEADER’S HELICOPTER. It lands on a BRIDGE.

SINISTER SECRET ORGANIZATION LEADER: Are you going to kill me?
DANIEL CRAIG: No. I’m making some kind of point about how we can all choose our path and it’s not necessary for me to play the role I’m cast in.
SINISTER SECRET ORGANIZATION LEADER: Wait, what?
DANIEL CRAIG: Ha! Ha! Ha! J/K. Sequel.
SINISTER SECRET ORGANIZATION LEADER: Ah, right.
DANIEL CRAIG: If you will excuse me, I will now ride off into the sunset with Mister White’s daughter.

DANIEL CRAIG rides off into the SUNSET with MISTER WHITE’S DAUGHTER

M: Sinister secret organization leader, you’re under arrest.

The movie ENDS