Just got back from watching the new Leonardo DiCaprio movie “Inception.”
Now, normally I like Leonardo DiCaprio movies about as much as I like using rusty razor wire as dental floss, and then following it up by gargling gasoline. While it’s on fire. Plus, the previews made it look like it’d probably end up being visual candy that went nowhere.
But everyone I know who’s seen it raves about it, and so Zaiah and I decided to go see it, Leonardo DiCaprio notwithstanding.
As near as I can tell, the entire point of the movie is a cockwaving fight with Michael Bay, of Transformers fame. In fact, I bet the conversation went something like this:
Michael Bay: I am going to make a movie filled with explosions.
Christopher Nolan: I am going to make a movie filled with explosions.
Michael Bay: I will have car chases in my movie.
Christopher Nolan: I will have car chases in my movie.
Michael Bay: I will have cars that unfold into giant killer robots.
Christopher Nolan: I will have an entire city that folds up into an M. C. Escher piece, with strange and bizarre rules of gravity.
Michael Bay: I will have a hot chick in my movie.
Christopher Nolan: I will have a hot chick in my movie, who is smart, courageous, insightful, strong-willed, and creative.
Michael Bay: …
Michael Bay: I will film scenes on location in the Middle East.
Christopher Nolan: I will film on location in Monaco, Japan, Canada, France, and England.
Michael Bay: My movie will be about giant killer robots blowing things up.
Christopher Nolan: My movie will be a surprisingly intelligent, thoughtful introspection on the nature of perception and reality, that also works as a meditation on loss, grief, guilt, and remorse.
Michael Bay: …
Michael Bay: I don’t even know what you just said.
Christopher Nolan: I will make a movie that will work on a number of different levels: as a straight-ahead knuckle-biting action-adventure flick, as a study in surrealism, as a character drama, or as a piece on the healing value of catharsis and self-determinism.
Michael Bay: My movie is based on children’s toys.
Christopher Nolan: My movie pays homage to everything from The Matrix to Donnie Darko to the James Bond books, with a nod to the classic cyberpunk notion of corporate multinationals that act like sovereign states and wage wars with their own teams of corporate hit men.
Michael Bay: …
Christopher Nolan: And my movie will weave different layers of reality together seamlessly.
Christopher Nolan: Plus, in my movie, the things that happen during the car chase in one reality will affect the things that are happening in the other realities in strange ways.
Christopher Nolan: And I will do it without resorting to any easy storytelling gimmicks.
Michael Bay: Ooh! Easy storytelling gimmicks!
Michael Bay: I will have car chases in my movie!
i LOVE your movie reviews. and generally anything that makes fun of michael bay. 😀
i LOVE your movie reviews. and generally anything that makes fun of michael bay. 😀
So, humerous conversational satire aside, did you like it, hate it, etc?
So, humerous conversational satire aside, did you like it, hate it, etc?
I get the feeling that Christoper Nolan’s cock is non-euclidean.
This!
I get the feeling that Christoper Nolan’s cock is non-euclidean.
Saw it a couple days ago. I’ll avoid dropping spoilers and simply say that I agree with you about DiCaprio, but I enjoyed the movie despite him.
Saw it a couple days ago. I’ll avoid dropping spoilers and simply say that I agree with you about DiCaprio, but I enjoyed the movie despite him.
LOL
LOL
I am also NOT a LD fan, but thoroughly enjoyed this movie. And I can’t imagine the above conversation happening any other way!
I am also NOT a LD fan, but thoroughly enjoyed this movie. And I can’t imagine the above conversation happening any other way!
Oooh, quick query:
Do you think I’ll miss anything by not watching it on the bigscreen?
Yes. The mirror scene and the city folding, at the very least. Hell, I despise the gimmicky “we’ll make this threeedee!” bullshit, but this is one film I’d have loved to see in 3D.
Damn. I’ll have to see if I can catch it soon, then! 🙂
Oooh, quick query:
Do you think I’ll miss anything by not watching it on the bigscreen?
So, what are you trying to say? That, metaphorically speaking, Chris Nolan has a larger cock to wave?
Thanks, I love your reviews.
So, what are you trying to say? That, metaphorically speaking, Chris Nolan has a larger cock to wave?
Thanks, I love your reviews.
Yyyyyyyes. Such a true story. What a great movie!
~Duk
Yyyyyyyes. Such a true story. What a great movie!
~Duk
Roflmao… I love your movie reviews. 🙂
Roflmao… I love your movie reviews. 🙂
This!
Well now I have to see it. (I wandered over here from‘s journal).
Well now I have to see it. (I wandered over here from‘s journal).
Yes. The mirror scene and the city folding, at the very least. Hell, I despise the gimmicky “we’ll make this threeedee!” bullshit, but this is one film I’d have loved to see in 3D.
Damn. I’ll have to see if I can catch it soon, then! 🙂
Your movie reviews are more entertaining then the movies they spork, that’s for sure 😉
I’m looking forward to Inception. I keep saying I’m not a LDC fan, but I’ve liked the last few things he’s done, so idk…
Your movie reviews are more entertaining then the movies they spork, that’s for sure 😉
I’m looking forward to Inception. I keep saying I’m not a LDC fan, but I’ve liked the last few things he’s done, so idk…
Heh, I have to agree with you about Di Caprio too, but he didn’t ruin this film. I just had one thought that kept spinning round my head through the whole darned movie:
“This is one heck of an expensive way to hypnotise a guy”
Oh, and also how come the hotel had no gravity, but the mountains did?
Bah.
Damned pretty though. And you forgot to make it “a hot chick in my movie, who is smart, courageous, insightful, strong-willed, and creative… and who doesn’t have to sleep with anyone to justify her inclusion on the team“
If for nothing else, I’m happy that they actually had a strong female character who wasn’t a ‘love interest’ and who kicked the male lead’s ass in several ways. That was nice.
Late ass response is super late (because I’ve just discovered tacit) but I will give my theory. I think the reason level two had no gravity, but level three did was that Arthur’s body was spinning around in zero-G on level one, so his consciousness on level two responded to the lack of gravity. However, since the bodies of all those on level three respond only to the level directly behind them, since those bodies were perfectly still, the consciousness’ on level three had gravity.
If that makes any kind of sense, I will feel successful.
Heh, I have to agree with you about Di Caprio too, but he didn’t ruin this film. I just had one thought that kept spinning round my head through the whole darned movie:
“This is one heck of an expensive way to hypnotise a guy”
Oh, and also how come the hotel had no gravity, but the mountains did?
Bah.
Damned pretty though. And you forgot to make it “a hot chick in my movie, who is smart, courageous, insightful, strong-willed, and creative… and who doesn’t have to sleep with anyone to justify her inclusion on the team“
If for nothing else, I’m happy that they actually had a strong female character who wasn’t a ‘love interest’ and who kicked the male lead’s ass in several ways. That was nice.
Late ass response is super late (because I’ve just discovered tacit) but I will give my theory. I think the reason level two had no gravity, but level three did was that Arthur’s body was spinning around in zero-G on level one, so his consciousness on level two responded to the lack of gravity. However, since the bodies of all those on level three respond only to the level directly behind them, since those bodies were perfectly still, the consciousness’ on level three had gravity.
If that makes any kind of sense, I will feel successful.
Dreams feel real when we are in, It’s only when we awake, we find something strange. 
Dreams feel real when we are in, It’s only when we awake, we find something strange.