I have a number of posts I’ve been meaning to make lately, on a wide assortment of topics, from how to make a karada using chain instead of rope to adventures with the Georgia Department of Motor Vehicles to more pictures of the kitties. (It seems like whenever I post BDSM tutorials or pictures of the cats, the size of my friends list jumps appreciably. Hello, new flist people! Welcome aboard!) Chatted with timestheyare this afternoon and was reminded that there’s a lengthy post about transhumanism that’s been brewing in my head for quite some time.
And I haven’t had time to post about any of that. In fact, I haven’t had time to work on any of the projects I have on various burners lately. I’d intended for the new version of my sex game Onyx to be out last month–haven’t worked on it since January. I’d intended to have the Symtoys site redesign done by now. I’ve been itching to begin working on that stalled book I keep not writing, too.
So what HAVE you been doing, Tacit?
Glad you asked.
I’ve been fighting with Network Solutions.
Right now, my largest Web site, the enormous sprawling monstrosity that is the Xero site, is hosted on Earthlink. It’s been hosted on Earthlink for about ten years now. I want to get it off Earthlink, who keeps raping me in the ass for bandwidth (and with the site popularity continuing to grow, that’s not going to end any time soon).
It’s been on Earthlink primarily because I’m using Earthlink’s ecommerce site. I resolved near the end of last year to move it to another hosting provider: GoDaddy. They’re cheaper and offer a lot more bandwidth (like, twenty times more), and they’re owned by an ex-Marine who’s a stickler for rules, meaning they’re not likely to suffer a complete meltdown a la Registerfly…God, what a mess THAT is.
Every step of the move has been more difficult than really necessary.
First, setting up a new ecommerce system. I chose ZenCart, a PHP solution, and installed it on a site I already have running on the new host. No problem.
But wait, I need a security certificate so people can connect securely when they put in credit card numbers.
Okay, no problem…but wait, that means migrating my existing site on the new host to a different server on that host.
Okay, that’s done. Now I need to set up the new ecommerce system and point my existing sites to it. But wait, there’s a security update for ZenCart. And updating ZenCart versions is about as easy as and as much fun as pulling teeth…on yourself…while walking across a tightrope…over the Grand Canyon…and reading Cicero’s The Extremes of Good and Evil…in the original Latin.
Okay, so now I need to set up the ecommerce software again. Good. Now we’re ready…
…oh, but wait, all the various Perl scripts I’ve written for the Xero site won’t work on GoDaddy’s server, because of some extreme wonkiness in the way GoDaddy configures paths. So all the Perl scripts need to be rewritten and tested. No problem…
…except that GoDaddy doesn’t log or provide any diagnostic tools for CGI errors, meaning that debugging CGI scripts of any sort on a GoDaddy server is about as easy as and as much fun as pulling teeth…on yourself…while walking across a tightrope…over the Grand Canyon…and reading Cicero’s The Extremes of Good and Evil…in the original Latin…while blindfolded.
Hey! If I update to version 2.0 of the GoDaddy hosting control panel, there is a logging tool for Perl errors!
Oh, wait. If I update to version 2.0 of the GoDaddy hosting control panel, I can’t use server-side includes any more. The Xero site relies extensively on…server-side includes.
So, many, MANY hours of blindfolded Perl debugging later, everything is ready to move. I allocate server space, copy the files across, now I just need to update the A record for the domain name…
Oh, no, no, wait, Network Solutions won’t let me. They say that the domain was registered through a third party. WTF?
I talk to Earthlink. They tell me that Earthlink-hosted sites whose names are registered with Network Solutions can only be transferred or updated after Earthlink first changes the records at Network Solutions, and would I like them to initiate this procedure?
No, I’d like them to knit me an afghan. Yes, I’d like them to initiate the goddamn procedure!
“We can do that for you, sir. It will take 48-72 hours. Then you will have to contact us again with a validation code from Network Solutions, and we will give you a Network Solutions username and password. If you wish to transfer to another registrar, you will have to unlock your domain name. That will take about 48 hours to propogate. Then you can start the domain transfer, see, and…”
And yes, I do want to transfer the domain name registration as well as the site. I’m tired of being fucked in the ass by Network Solutions.
It’s the tag-team of assfucking, it is. Earthlink and Network Solutions. They’ve been double-teaming me for a decade. I’ve probably bought all the executives Ferraris by now. I’m surprised my ass doesn’t look like a satellite photo of Mount St. Helen’s. Hell, maybe it does; I haven’t looked at it recently. Surprisingly difficult to look at your own ass, not that I try…
But I digress.
So Network Solutions is going to move the domain name at the end of this week. To give me, y’know, time to cancel the transfer if I change my mind, or if merovingian‘s evil robot double sends me a box full of tiny robotic wasps or something, I don’t know.
After that, I can modify the A record to point at the new server. And then bask in the glory of bandwidth I’m not being assraped for, and fix all the little bits that will undoubtedly get broken.
I’ve been holding off working on a major rewrite of the BDSM section of the site until it’s all moved and stuff. I’ll probably add at least two more sections. When I’m not, y’know, trying to finish Onyx. Or trying to finish the update to the Symtoys site. Or, like, playing World of Warcraft.
Whee. I’m going to bed.