Back from Florida Poly Retreat…

…and still flying from it. Best weekend I’ve spent in a long, looooong time. smoocherie, you really outdid yourself; I had a blast. It should be criminal how much fun I had.

Come to think of it, it probably is.

Florida Poly Retreat is a learning experience, and offered no end of things I can take with me into my life. In fact, I think it’s probably a good idea to record some of the lessons for posterity.

Things I Learned from Florida Poly Retreat

– When teaming up with your archnemesis to declare war upon a peaceful people, make sure they notice that you’ve declared war on them. The answer to “what if they had a war and nobody came?” is “things wouldn’t be very interesting.”

– Spinning fire is fun! Spinning fire when you’re sleep-deprived, you have bronchitis, and you’ve been drinking, on the other hand, is a good way to get whacked upside the head with flame.

punzel rocks. If you get a chance to see her present, do it. Try not to give her bronchitis, though. (I hope that wasn’t my fault…)

– 70 feet of rope is more than enough to create a karada and also then tie your partner to an antique high-backed wooden chair in a very interesting and aesthetically attractive way.

– Ancient medieval siege weapons, like cars, have a breaking-in period before they start firing consistently and reliably. Once they’re suitably broken in, however, they just keep getting better and better.

– I’m too optimistic to make a good evil overlord. This epiphany has forced me to re-evaluate my plans, and made me seriously reconsider my goals in life.

– Driving an average of 90 miles per hour rather than 65 miles per hour turns a 7-hour trip into a 5-hour trip.

(Okay, so technically these last two don’t count as “things I learned at FPR,” but rather “things I learned in my car while driving to FPR and listening to A Perfect Circle on the iPod, but close enough.)

– A trebuchet actually makes a good metaphor for transitioning from monogamy to polyamory. The weapon, while sitting there quietly doing nothing, is like a monogamous relationship; it can be perfectly stable and hold up just fine. But when you start involving other people, whether as romantic partners or as targets, the machine becomes dynamic, and any design flaws are likely to cause it to rip itself apart in a shower of wood splinters and stones and grief.

– Sleep is optional. Food is optional. Tech is mandatory.

– 3 out of 4 polyamorous people prefer Macs.

– Size matters. No matter how big your Compact Flash card is, it isn’t big enough.

– The best relationship you can have is with yourself. Or, if you’re merovingian, the best relationship you can have is with your evil robot double.

32 thoughts on “Back from Florida Poly Retreat…

  1. dare i ask why a treb at a poly retreat (unless of course it was attended by many of clan bluefeather…)?

    How big was it? What was it made from (wood, but what sort)? What was its throwing limit and how much did the counterweight weigh?

    Search for “trebuchet” in my tags on flickr to find out why i ask these esoteric questions;-)

    • Doesn’t every poly retreat have medieval siege weapons? *scratches head*

      You can see pictures of last year’s trebuchet on the website – http://www.floridapolyretreat.com .

      From the FPR schedule:

      Creative Conflict Management with Medieval Siege Weapons
      by Franklin Veaux

      Type: EXP
      Location: Main

      This workshop focuses on the time-honored and tested means of direct communication through the use of kinetic energy applied to the other person’s castle wall. We will discover new ways to communicate by constructing and firing a scale-model siege weapon. In the meantime, we’ll talk about some of the humorous and frustrating aspects of polyamory, and how to handle those frustrations creatively.

      Franklin is the author of an extensive and busy website on polyamory at http://xeromag.com/fvpoly.html In his free time, he also enjoys flinging boulders at castle walls.

      • Ah all become clear (and I knew i liked this man from the first article of his i read…) he’s a medieval zealot with a passion for large wooden machines – much like my DH… Hey, Tacit, you in the SCA?

        • Nope, though I have friends who are. I don’t have the time or the patience for stuff like the SCA, I’m afraid; I have too many hobbies and interests I neglect as it is. πŸ™‚

  2. dare i ask why a treb at a poly retreat (unless of course it was attended by many of clan bluefeather…)?

    How big was it? What was it made from (wood, but what sort)? What was its throwing limit and how much did the counterweight weigh?

    Search for “trebuchet” in my tags on flickr to find out why i ask these esoteric questions;-)

  3. Heh, I feel somewhat proud for luring over the physicist whose question forced you to articulate the trebuchet purpose.
    Must finish the picture of the “Trebuchet Salute” too *snicker*

  4. Heh, I feel somewhat proud for luring over the physicist whose question forced you to articulate the trebuchet purpose.
    Must finish the picture of the “Trebuchet Salute” too *snicker*

  5. Doesn’t every poly retreat have medieval siege weapons? *scratches head*

    You can see pictures of last year’s trebuchet on the website – http://www.floridapolyretreat.com .

    From the FPR schedule:

    Creative Conflict Management with Medieval Siege Weapons
    by Franklin Veaux

    Type: EXP
    Location: Main

    This workshop focuses on the time-honored and tested means of direct communication through the use of kinetic energy applied to the other person’s castle wall. We will discover new ways to communicate by constructing and firing a scale-model siege weapon. In the meantime, we’ll talk about some of the humorous and frustrating aspects of polyamory, and how to handle those frustrations creatively.

    Franklin is the author of an extensive and busy website on polyamory at http://xeromag.com/fvpoly.html In his free time, he also enjoys flinging boulders at castle walls.

  6. Hmm.. so those of us thinking differently about relationships and choosing polyamory, and then NOT submitting to the conformity of ‘most poly people choose Macs’ makes us even more unique πŸ˜€

  7. Ah all become clear (and I knew i liked this man from the first article of his i read…) he’s a medieval zealot with a passion for large wooden machines – much like my DH… Hey, Tacit, you in the SCA?

  8. I must admit that I completely fell for your “I’m too optimistic to be evil” schtick, until after we got home and discovered that every time you spoke it was for the sole purpose of spreading your plague. I’d like to flatter myself with the thought that it was a clever attempt to assassinate me with no regard for collateral casualties, particularly since I thus far appear to have fended off your bioweapon.

    As for our joint act of war being not only unsuccessful but also unnoticed, from tiny acorns grow mighty oak trees…

    – Sleep is optional. Food is optional. Tech is mandatory.
    This is the foundation of my world.

    • Y’know, when I first read that post, I read it too fast and thought it said “from tiny acorns glow mighty oak trees” and I think that was too appropriate. How many did you get stuck up there this time?

  9. I must admit that I completely fell for your “I’m too optimistic to be evil” schtick, until after we got home and discovered that every time you spoke it was for the sole purpose of spreading your plague. I’d like to flatter myself with the thought that it was a clever attempt to assassinate me with no regard for collateral casualties, particularly since I thus far appear to have fended off your bioweapon.

    As for our joint act of war being not only unsuccessful but also unnoticed, from tiny acorns grow mighty oak trees…

    – Sleep is optional. Food is optional. Tech is mandatory.
    This is the foundation of my world.

  10. Y’know, when I first read that post, I read it too fast and thought it said “from tiny acorns glow mighty oak trees” and I think that was too appropriate. How many did you get stuck up there this time?

  11. Nope, though I have friends who are. I don’t have the time or the patience for stuff like the SCA, I’m afraid; I have too many hobbies and interests I neglect as it is. πŸ™‚

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.