Last month, Shelly and I and her partner and his wife went to Disney. We stayed a couple of days at a Disney “economy hotel,” the All Star Music Hotel (translation: a Motel 6 with a theme and a different brand name on the sign), a music-themed place whose various buildings were all dedicated to different kinds of pop music. The buildings ad gigantic sculptures in front of eac one–a huge guitar for the Rock and Roll building, a burning cross in front of the Country Music building–you get the idea.
Each room had artwork on the wall.
I’ve been meaning to post about the artwork for some time, but only now have I been able to muster the courage and the strength to do so. For this is no ordinary bland, corporate motel artwork, oh my no.
I photographed the artwork on our wall, which was apparently the same as the artwork in every room throughout the motel–a thought that to this day keeps me up at night.
The theme of the artwork is deceptively simple: children, three of them to be precise, one playing a banjo for the entertainment of the other two. Such a simple description, however, utterly fails to communicate the true ghastly horror of this artwork.
Good art has the power to move. This art has the power to crush the viewer’s very soul.
The artwork is untitled. I speculate that this is because “Hideously Deformed Children of the Post-Apocalypse” is too large to fit on a corner of the painting; Shelly’s sweetie suggested that perhaps the true title of this art is “You Should Have Paid More and Stayed in a Different Hotel.”
Since misery loves company, I have placed a photograph of this artwork beneath this cut, thus ensuring the eternal damnation of my soul.
OMG! I wasn’t aware there were artistic ideas worse than the Phoenix Airport’s carpet design. This one proves me wrong….
Huh. I was just at Sky Harbor a couple of months ago, and don’t remember the carpet at all. D’you happen to have a link to a picture?
http://www.siliconchef.com/sc/archives/carpet4.jpg
http://www.siliconchef.com/sc/archives/carpet3.jpg
unfortunately, these were taken from a video camera that did lousy stills. You can’t really tell the true color scheme from them. It’s a mix of weird orangy, greenish and awful browns. This was Concourse A, circa 2002.
OMG! I wasn’t aware there were artistic ideas worse than the Phoenix Airport’s carpet design. This one proves me wrong….
“It tastes like… burning!!”
“It tastes like… burning!!”
Wow, that really is gruesome.
Wow, that really is gruesome.
Now, where did I put that brain bleach?
Now, where did I put that brain bleach?
Wow. That’s pretty ugly. However, I think it important to note that this is not the ugliest painting in the world. It might, however, be the ugliest pastel drawing in the world.
< Muppet announcer voice > Kids… in… spaaaaaaace!
*shudder*
Wow. That’s pretty ugly. However, I think it important to note that this is not the ugliest painting in the world. It might, however, be the ugliest pastel drawing in the world.
< Muppet announcer voice > Kids… in… spaaaaaaace!
*shudder*
I Agree
This is an abomination. The banjo head looks like an old timey five string banjo, but there appear to be only four strings on a neck that is too short. But the truly Satanic thing is that the fret spacing appears to be backwards, with the fret spacing getting larger rather than smaller as you go up the neck. Perhaps the only song that banjo plays is “John is Dead.”
Truly creepy,
Si
I Agree
This is an abomination. The banjo head looks like an old timey five string banjo, but there appear to be only four strings on a neck that is too short. But the truly Satanic thing is that the fret spacing appears to be backwards, with the fret spacing getting larger rather than smaller as you go up the neck. Perhaps the only song that banjo plays is “John is Dead.”
Truly creepy,
Si
Huh. I was just at Sky Harbor a couple of months ago, and don’t remember the carpet at all. D’you happen to have a link to a picture?
I may be over-reacting, but it seems to me there are some moderately unpleasant racial connotations in that picture, as well.
Unpleasant?
So the banjo picker looks maybe like a young Charlie Pride? I think that maybe the children are painted so someone might or might not see them as African-American, so that both white and black viewers can identify with it. The middle child could be Native American or Asian. I’m not sure there are negative or racist connotations to the picture. The kids look like they respect each other. Any child in the world ought to be able to have a cowboy costume. Historically there were plenty of African-American cowboys. And banjos did originally come from Africa,presumably before they started dueling. At the turn of the last century, African-Americans banjo/fiddle bands were common.
Si
I may be over-reacting, but it seems to me there are some moderately unpleasant racial connotations in that picture, as well.
Before I moved away from Florida, Disney only had two of the three “All Star” resorts completed — they had Sports and Movies, but were still working on Music. Given how remarkably eye-bleeding the first two were, I didn’t know if they’d really be able to top it for Music or not. But they did! It’s good to know they can still come through.
Before I moved away from Florida, Disney only had two of the three “All Star” resorts completed — they had Sports and Movies, but were still working on Music. Given how remarkably eye-bleeding the first two were, I didn’t know if they’d really be able to top it for Music or not. But they did! It’s good to know they can still come through.
Even reading everything you wrote, and taking it seriously, I was not prepared for the site of that painting.
Even reading everything you wrote, and taking it seriously, I was not prepared for the site of that painting.
Unpleasant?
So the banjo picker looks maybe like a young Charlie Pride? I think that maybe the children are painted so someone might or might not see them as African-American, so that both white and black viewers can identify with it. The middle child could be Native American or Asian. I’m not sure there are negative or racist connotations to the picture. The kids look like they respect each other. Any child in the world ought to be able to have a cowboy costume. Historically there were plenty of African-American cowboys. And banjos did originally come from Africa,presumably before they started dueling. At the turn of the last century, African-Americans banjo/fiddle bands were common.
Si
http://www.siliconchef.com/sc/archives/carpet4.jpg
http://www.siliconchef.com/sc/archives/carpet3.jpg
unfortunately, these were taken from a video camera that did lousy stills. You can’t really tell the true color scheme from them. It’s a mix of weird orangy, greenish and awful browns. This was Concourse A, circa 2002.
Please tell me you didn’t have sex in front of this picture.
Please tell me you didn’t have sex in front of this picture.
Yup. And I had to go and click on the link anyway. What was I thinking?
😛
Yup. And I had to go and click on the link anyway. What was I thinking?
😛
Eh
It looks like one of those really bad mall family portraits. My mom made my brother and I sit through one for my grandmother ages ago. I dunno, amateurish, surprising for a hotel, but *shrug* maybe I’m alone in thinking that while I’d never (ever!) put it on a wall I’ve seen worse things called art.
Eh
It looks like one of those really bad mall family portraits. My mom made my brother and I sit through one for my grandmother ages ago. I dunno, amateurish, surprising for a hotel, but *shrug* maybe I’m alone in thinking that while I’d never (ever!) put it on a wall I’ve seen worse things called art.
This made me laugh out loud in my office!
Their unitooths are so white! Their shoes are so gaily colored! Let’s have a hoe-down!
This made me laugh out loud in my office!
Their unitooths are so white! Their shoes are so gaily colored! Let’s have a hoe-down!
I’ve seen worse. I’ll have to take a picture of one of the paintings at our local Indian food eatery for you to see.
If it’s worse than this painting, I think perhaps I should pass…
I’ve seen worse. I’ll have to take a picture of one of the paintings at our local Indian food eatery for you to see.
My eyes…my EYESSSSSSSSSS
My eyes…my EYESSSSSSSSSS
I’m still stuck back at “burning cross in front of the Country Music building”, I mean, WTF, Country Music fans are all inclined to wear bedsheets and join supah seekrit racist organizations?
*is disturbed*
*quietly slinks off to enjoy a Charlie Pride record*
I mean, WTF, Country Music fans are all inclined to wear bedsheets and join supah seekrit racist organizations?
Heh. That comment was decidedly tongue-in-cheek ( is a fan of country music, and we poke at one anothers’ tastes from time to time).
I’m still stuck back at “burning cross in front of the Country Music building”, I mean, WTF, Country Music fans are all inclined to wear bedsheets and join supah seekrit racist organizations?
*is disturbed*
*quietly slinks off to enjoy a Charlie Pride record*
I’m here to help!
The problem isn’t entirely with the picture. Much of your horror springs from the fact that you seem to be missing an important detail.
That isn’t hay they’re sitting on. It’s fire.
Clearly they’re in Hell. The girl’s feet are so hot that they’re glowing. I suspect that her shoes are actually made of iron and welded to her feet. Likewise the “shirt” of the boy in the middle, and the arm of the boy on the right is obviously ablaze. There are flames coming off of it! And all around them is the Void. You know about the Void.
As for the banjo, well, what kind of music would you expect in the Unquenchable Inferno?
The cowboy hat, I suspect, was just the artist being whimsical.
There. Doesn’t seem so terrifying now, does it? 🙂
Not banjo…
As for the banjo, well, what kind of music would you expect in the Unquenchable Inferno?
Bagpipes, or perhaps accordion. Banjos are awesome. (So are bagpipes if played well, but we all know how often that falls to shit.) – ZM
Accord, n. Harmony.
Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
– Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary
I’m here to help!
The problem isn’t entirely with the picture. Much of your horror springs from the fact that you seem to be missing an important detail.
That isn’t hay they’re sitting on. It’s fire.
Clearly they’re in Hell. The girl’s feet are so hot that they’re glowing. I suspect that her shoes are actually made of iron and welded to her feet. Likewise the “shirt” of the boy in the middle, and the arm of the boy on the right is obviously ablaze. There are flames coming off of it! And all around them is the Void. You know about the Void.
As for the banjo, well, what kind of music would you expect in the Unquenchable Inferno?
The cowboy hat, I suspect, was just the artist being whimsical.
There. Doesn’t seem so terrifying now, does it? 🙂
Not banjo…
As for the banjo, well, what kind of music would you expect in the Unquenchable Inferno?
Bagpipes, or perhaps accordion. Banjos are awesome. (So are bagpipes if played well, but we all know how often that falls to shit.) – ZM
Accord, n. Harmony.
Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
– Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary
Oh, Sweet Redemptive Alcohol, take me away.
I mean, really, it was a hotel near Disney. Why not try a good theme?
Oh. My. GOD.
Now THAT is classic.
Oh, Sweet Redemptive Alcohol, take me away.
I mean, really, it was a hotel near Disney. Why not try a good theme?
If it’s worse than this painting, I think perhaps I should pass…
I mean, WTF, Country Music fans are all inclined to wear bedsheets and join supah seekrit racist organizations?
Heh. That comment was decidedly tongue-in-cheek ( is a fan of country music, and we poke at one anothers’ tastes from time to time).
Oh. My. GOD.
Now THAT is classic.