My wife kellyv called it right; I got it wrong.
She said A. would go back to her abusive husband. I had higher hopes than that; I sincerely believed that she had gotten away from him for good, and was willing to make the commitment to raising her child in an environment free from abuse.
Yes, I know this is the typical pattern of abuse, and yes, I know that battered wives rarely leave their abusive husbands for good. Still, I really thought she’d stay away from him.
But she went back, because, you see, this is what God wants.
I’ve always wondered about that. Why is it that all the really sick fucks–I mean, all the hardcore, twisted, violent sociopaths I’ve ever known–are religious? What is it about devout faith in God that attracts irrationally violent psychopaths like flies to honey?
I’m not saying that people who are religious are sick sociopaths; I’m saying that the sociopaths I’ve met tend to be religious, and to use religion to justify their mental illness. “God wants me to put a whuppin’ on my whore of a wife.” What the fuck?
I really do believe that in order to be truly evil–not merely wicked, but really evil, the kind of evil that thinks it’s OK to beat your wife or fly an airplane into a skyscraper–you almost HAVE to be religious.
Mere garden-variety wickedness is not wicked all the time, because the merely wicked are wicked for some kind of gain; if there is no gain, there is no motivation for wickedness.
But real, hardcore evil is irrational. It is evil at all times, regardless of the cost and regardless of the situation, because that flavor of evil is inspired by the motivation that believes itself to be good.
In any event, she’s gone. I already have a sick dread that I know how this is going to play out. Goddamnit, I’ve seen too many adults who were destroyed as children by abusive homes, and even if it’s too late for A. to escape the cycle of violence and abuse, I had hoped that having a child would make her want to try to save it.
just send her and the child white light. my first husband was abusive. it took me years to leave. something just has to “click” — i don’t know any better way to explain it.
but i also understand it is hard to sit back and watch. it is such a horrible thing. my heart goes out to her and the child.
just send her and the child white light. my first husband was abusive. it took me years to leave. something just has to “click” — i don’t know any better way to explain it.
but i also understand it is hard to sit back and watch. it is such a horrible thing. my heart goes out to her and the child.
*sigh* I saw that coming, too. It really is sad, but there doesn’t seem to be a way to get through to them. They have to eventually snap on their own…before it’s too late. *shakes head*
*sigh* I saw that coming, too. It really is sad, but there doesn’t seem to be a way to get through to them. They have to eventually snap on their own…before it’s too late. *shakes head*
… I don’t have much to add, other than I’ve been where you are many times, and it sucks. All you can do is let them know you are there for them, and hope they make use of it. Be aware that her crazy religious boyfriend will do everything he can to force a shism between her and any supportive person, so she might seem to turn on you. Good luck.. and *hugs* to you.
… I don’t have much to add, other than I’ve been where you are many times, and it sucks. All you can do is let them know you are there for them, and hope they make use of it. Be aware that her crazy religious boyfriend will do everything he can to force a shism between her and any supportive person, so she might seem to turn on you. Good luck.. and *hugs* to you.
DOY!
It is quite unfortunate that the events played out this way.
Perhaps one day when she looks in her childs eyes that are full of fear, anger and sadness, she’ll wake up.
I hope that his physical abuse never shifts to the child. it’s bad enough the emotional will.
DOY!
It is quite unfortunate that the events played out this way.
Perhaps one day when she looks in her childs eyes that are full of fear, anger and sadness, she’ll wake up.
I hope that his physical abuse never shifts to the child. it’s bad enough the emotional will.
*sigh*
I know, I know. I really do. I’ve watched it a few dozen times up close.
I’m one of those kids from an abusive home. My mom is still in the pattern. Matter of fact, right now we’re dealing with a suicide threat and a missing Mom. But whatever; done this dance before. I guess I’m an exception to the rule, since I started following in her footsteps but made a hard right turn when I got pregnant. Seems there were some things I was willing to allow to happen to me that I just couldn’t allow to happen to my child. But I know that’s not the rule.
Alt, who can’t decide whether to gravely nod or shake her head in incomprehension.
*sigh*
I know, I know. I really do. I’ve watched it a few dozen times up close.
I’m one of those kids from an abusive home. My mom is still in the pattern. Matter of fact, right now we’re dealing with a suicide threat and a missing Mom. But whatever; done this dance before. I guess I’m an exception to the rule, since I started following in her footsteps but made a hard right turn when I got pregnant. Seems there were some things I was willing to allow to happen to me that I just couldn’t allow to happen to my child. But I know that’s not the rule.
Alt, who can’t decide whether to gravely nod or shake her head in incomprehension.
Funny you mention this — the religious = fanatic connection. I was just sitting in the waiting room of the doctor’s office leafing through the 3/11 issue of Time. (I should know better. I swore off newspapers long ago — me nerves!) Nice article on a Hindu/Muslim competition going on in the outter provinces called “let’s see who can rape the daughters/wives and then set everyone on fire while alive.” 400 last week alone. Why? Beats me. Far as I can tell it might have something to do with a mosque that was burned down in 1992, but even that’s not clear. Maybeit’s siply a matter of people with too much time on their hands, too little power in their brains, and just enough of a religious eye-for-an-eye rationale to not think about it for another minute.
bless america.
But if there were a god, s/he’d have a lot of ‘splaining to do for the sort of stuff s/he lets go unpunished.
Funny you mention this — the religious = fanatic connection. I was just sitting in the waiting room of the doctor’s office leafing through the 3/11 issue of Time. (I should know better. I swore off newspapers long ago — me nerves!) Nice article on a Hindu/Muslim competition going on in the outter provinces called “let’s see who can rape the daughters/wives and then set everyone on fire while alive.” 400 last week alone. Why? Beats me. Far as I can tell it might have something to do with a mosque that was burned down in 1992, but even that’s not clear. Maybeit’s siply a matter of people with too much time on their hands, too little power in their brains, and just enough of a religious eye-for-an-eye rationale to not think about it for another minute.
bless america.
But if there were a god, s/he’d have a lot of ‘splaining to do for the sort of stuff s/he lets go unpunished.
Same Old Song And Dancd
Actually while she (A) was driving for FL I told “I hope she dosn’t go back to him.” She has a history of going back.
Damn I hate it when I am right.
Same Old Song And Dancd
Actually while she (A) was driving for FL I told “I hope she dosn’t go back to him.” She has a history of going back.
Damn I hate it when I am right.
Oh man, I can only agree with what you wrote today. About abusive homes and self destruction. About regular wickedness and hardcore evil.
I enjoyed reading your 20 latest entries
Fred
Oh man, I can only agree with what you wrote today. About abusive homes and self destruction. About regular wickedness and hardcore evil.
I enjoyed reading your 20 latest entries
Fred