So this evening, my roommate David and I went shopping after work.
We had to make it fast, because we both had raid tonight. In fact, he talked to his raid leader on the way to the store, so that we’d have an idea of how much time we could spend shopping.
Which got us to thinking how to tell if you’re completely addicted1 to World of Warcraft. The warning signs are pretty subtle, so it can sometimes be a difficult call to make. Still, there are a few little signs and signals that might tip you off. To wit:
1. Your boss asks you if you can work overtime, and you say “Sorry, no can do. We’re raiding tonight. Sartharion, booyeah!”
2. Your new sweetie asks you out on a romantic date, and you say “Sorry, no can do. We’re raiding tonight. Sartharion 25-man, booyeah!”
3. You’re scheduling a funeral for a family member and you realize it can’t be on Saturday, because you’re raiding that night. Sartharion 10-man with three drakes up, booyeah!
4. Your fiancée wants to go out shopping for wedding rings, and you have a fleeting moment when you think “Shopping? We don’t need to do that! I can craft a [Titanium Spellshock Ring]!
5. You have your real-life wedding in-game.
6. …and ALL of your friends show up.
7. …and think it’s cool.
8. And your family shows up, too.
9. You install an add-on that lets you play another game inside the game while you’re idle or traveling somewhere.
10. Your character’s cooking skill is higher than yours.
11. You schedule vacations around the release dates for game expansions.
12. You schedule vacations around patch day.
13. Two words: Soloing Onyxia, booyeah!
14. The porn folder on your computer contains screen shots of that time you soloed a Fel Reaver at level 69.
15. …and you weren’t playing a warlock.
16. The first thing you ask that new hottie who just moved in across the street is “Horde or Alliance?”
17. And if the answer is “Alliance,” you know a relationship will never work. Fuckin’ pansy-ass Alliance, anyway.
18. The three things you look for in a vacation spot are power, broadband Internet access, and… Come to think of it, there’s really only two things you need in a vacation spot.
19. Actually, you don’t really need to go anywhere on vacation. Travel takes away time you could spend playing!
20. And so does sex, for that matter.
21. You may drive a [1977 Chevy Vega] in real life, but who cares? Your character rides a [Mechano-hog]! Booyeah, baby! Put that in your [Dark Iron Smoking Pipe] and smoke it!
22. Your [Tigule and Foror’s Strawberry Ice Cream] brings all the boys to the yard.
23. Those “World of Whorecraft” porn videos bug you because they keep getting the lore wrong.
24. When you go to lunch, you tell your boss “AFK for 30”.
25. “LF 1 GF. Will be checking gear.”
26. You know your way around Alterac Valley better than you know your way around your own neighborhood.
27. …and Alterac Valley is safer than your own neighborhood.
28. You see “LFM OT + DPS UBRS Rend run” in general chat and it makes you all misty-eyed with nostalgia.
29. You’ve watched the World of Warcraft “Switch” ad 167 times, and it keeps getting funnier every single time you see it. “Or hell, why don’t I just self-res, and bam! Cast Frost Shock!!!”
And finally:
30. If you had a dollar for every time Blizzard nerfed your class, you could…you could…play for two months for FREE!
1 Not that that’s, you know, a bad thing.
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