Hamlet: The Facebook News Feed Edition
Polonius thinks this curtain looks like a good thing to hide behind.
Polonius is no longer online.
Brilliant! (With a tip of the linky-link hat to champignon)
Link O’ the Day
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Tag Archives: humor
Some thoughts on Shakespeare
So a couple of days ago my roommate David and I were talking about Shakespeare, who really is very good in spite of all the people who say he really is very good (as opposed to, for example, William Faulkner, who really is pretty dreadful in spite of all the people who say he really is very good).
Now, I started reading Shakespeare on my own in middle school; during recess, I’d sit in a corner of the playground with Macbeth, which probably explains a great deal abou why I m the way I am today. Though that’s a whole ‘nother subject altogether.
Anyway, the part the folks don’t seem to get about William Shakespeare is that the man was the Quentin Tarantino of his time. The way we teach Shakespeare in high school literature class is absolutely awful; we suck the joy and fun and off-color humor right out of him.
I have visions of lit classes 300 years hence subjecting Quentin Tarantino to the same sort of academic savaging:
“Now, class, today we’re going to be discussing the symbolism of the wallet owned by the hit-man Jules. His wallet had ‘Bad Mother Fucker’ written on it. As we discussed yesterday, the word ‘bad’ in the English of the time meant something that was of inferior quality, but it also had a vernacular meaning of something that was especially good, or dangerous. Today, I’d like us to turn our attention to this dual meaning, and how Mr. Tarantino played on the juxtaposition of the two meanings of the word ‘bad’ in the slogan written on the wallet.
“Tonight, when you go home, I want you to write a 600-word essay about the meaning of the two hit-men’s conversation about foot rubs in the beginning of the movie. Pay particular attention to what their conversation says about gender roles and assumptions during the late 20th century. Compare and contrast the view of gender and gender roles in the line where Jules says ‘Now look, maybe your method of massage differs from mine, but, you know, touchin’ his wife’s feet, and stickin’ your tongue in her Holiest of Holies, ain’t the same fuckin’ ballpark, it ain’t the same league, it ain’t even the same fuckin’ sport’ to the ideas about gender and gender roles later when the character Jody tells the hit-man Vincent that her tongue ring is ‘a sex thing. It helps fellatio.'”
Apropos of nothing…
“Have fun storming the database!”
“Think it’ll return any rows?”
“It would take a miracle.”
World of Warcraft humor
˙˙˙sʍǝu ɹǝɥʇo uı puɐ
˙sʎɐp ǝsoɥʇ ɟo ǝuo uǝǝq s,ʇı˙˙˙
Right place, right time
I’ve always been a fan of William Shakespeare, who really is very good in spite of all the people who say he really is very good (unlike, for example, F. Scott Fitzgerald, who really is pretty mediocre in spite of all the people who say he really is very good).
I can’t help but think, though, that the characters Hamlet and Othello were not tragic figures so much as people in the wrong place at the wrong time. Both plays would be quite different if those two characters merely switched places.
See, the deal with Hamlet is that he overthinks everything, whereas the deal with Othello is that he’s rash and quick to judgement. Hamlet would never for even half a second have been fooled by Iago, whereas Othello would never for even half a second put up with his mom shagging his dad’s murderer.
So. What would the plays look like if we swapped them around?
Othello Act III, Scene iii
IAGO: I do not like the office:
But, sith I am enter’d in this cause so far,
Prick’d to’t by foolish honesty and love,
I will go on. I lay with Cassio lately;
And, being troubled with a raging tooth,
I could not sleep.
There are a kind of men so loose of soul,
That in their sleeps will mutter their affairs:
One of this kind is Cassio:
In sleep I heard him say ‘Sweet Desdemona,
Let us be wary, let us hide our loves;’
And then, sir, would he gripe and wring my hand,
Cry ‘O sweet creature!’ and then kiss me hard,
As if he pluck’d up kisses by the roots
That grew upon my lips: then laid his leg
Over my thigh, and sigh’d, and kiss’d; and then
Cried ‘Cursed fate that gave thee to the Moor!’HAMLET: You know, you actually had me going there for a minute. But seriously, you are so full of shit. See, I actually talked to Cassio after that deal in the garden, and you know what? I totally don’t believe you.
DESDEMONA: Dude, you rock.
Hamlet is even shorter after we do the swap.
HAMLET Act I, Scene ii
QUEEN GERTRUDE: Good Othello, cast thy nighted colour off,1
And let thine eye look like a friend on Denmark.
Do not for ever with thy vailed lids
Seek for thy noble father in the dust:
Thou know’st ’tis common; all that lives must die,
Passing through nature to eternity.OTHELLO: Look, Mom. Look…er, Dad. This is ridiculous. Sorry, but I’m afraid I have to cut your heads off now.
(OTHELLO draws his sword, cuts off GERTRUDE’S HEAD and CLAUDIUS’ HEAD.)
THE GHOST: Dude, you rock.
1 This line becomes even funnier when you consider that Othello is a Moor.
Fragments of Dragon*Con: Entropy
While looking for a place to sit in a jam-packed, standing-room-only food court:
David: It will all work out in the end.
Me: No. No, it won’t. Entropy pretty much guarantees that.
David: This isn’t a closed system.
Noted without comment.
From the Department of the Bleedin’ Obvious Department
Spotted this when I was shopping a couple of days ago. Yes, the grocery store has a “toys” aisle. No, I don’t know why either. (Something to keep the kiddies out of Mom’s hair while she shops, perhaps?)
Anyway, take a look at the advertising copy on this toy. Liteup Wheel Lights Up!
…err, as opposed to doing something else, for example. Like, I dunno, invading France.
A liteup wheel that lights up. What ever will they think of next? Tautological cat is tautological.
From the “You Can’t Make This Up” department…
I just got back from lunch at a popular seafood chain restaurant called Joe’s Crab Shack. There are public restrooms in this restaurant; the restrooms are down a hallway. A sign helpfully points the way.
However, the sign does not say “Restrooms” on it. Instead, it says…
Well, see for yourself.
