Wow, it’s been busy lately…I’ve been working six days a week, ten to fifteen hours a day. As a result, I haven’t had time to read my flist, or in fact do much of anything else.
I have, however, finally managed to update my Web site, by taking my laptop to McDonald’s with me every day and working on it on my lunch break. Uploaded it from McDonald’s yesterday; this revision affects nearly every page of the polyamory section.
Most significantly, I’ve finally put the Mono-Poly Dialog up. After five rounds of editing, it still weighs in at about seventeen thousand, five hundred words, so it’s a significant read…but I didn’t want to cut any more out, as I wanted to preserve the feel and the content of the original conversation.
And now, off to work.
…woooooooow.
Reading through this dialog makes me cringe. Not because you handled it poorly, not in the least – but because the situation the other person was in is just ultimately cringe-worthy. It also makes me want to write up responses of my own – although my take on poly appears fairly well identical to yours, my approach to answering some of the questions is a little different.
Then there’s the fact that I’m female, which (in my experience) is something that changes the dynamic of a mono-poly conversation with another woman.
…I had a point, I swear. More coffee needed. I still maintain that you run one of the best poly resources around – thanks for that.
…woooooooow.
Reading through this dialog makes me cringe. Not because you handled it poorly, not in the least – but because the situation the other person was in is just ultimately cringe-worthy. It also makes me want to write up responses of my own – although my take on poly appears fairly well identical to yours, my approach to answering some of the questions is a little different.
Then there’s the fact that I’m female, which (in my experience) is something that changes the dynamic of a mono-poly conversation with another woman.
…I had a point, I swear. More coffee needed. I still maintain that you run one of the best poly resources around – thanks for that.
…by taking my laptop to McDonald’s with me every day…
I’ve been falling into the same trap myself lately, albeit with my DS. I’ve managed to readdict myself to chicken nuggets; that’s not so bad, but lately I’ve been ordering shakes with them. At this rate, I may find myself obese again. I hope your website isn’t making you fat like Nintendo is doing to me.
– ZM
Okay, this is completely off-topic, but I’m very curious to know what you think of the DS. When I found out that Lemmings and TRON 2.0 were available on the GBA I considered getting one, but after playing around with a DS in the store, knowing that it’s backward compatible with GBA games, and finding out that there’s a homebrew scene for it, I’m considering dishing out the extra scratch for a DS instead.
Your thoughts? Currently the only specifically DS game that’s attracted my attention is the brain puzzle one (whose name escapes me, thus proving my need for it), but the extra features are compelling. Also (and this is a big deal for me), do you know if it’s compatible with original Game Boy games?
Sorry to innundate you!
Oh, it’s no problem. I’m quite fond of my DS, but it sounds like you wouldn’t be interested: Brain Age is shite, and it’s only backward-compatible with GBA games, nothing earlier (nor can it handle multiplayer functions of GBA games). Only the GBA itself and the Game Boy Player for the Gamecube are completely backward-compatible. – ZM
…by taking my laptop to McDonald’s with me every day…
I’ve been falling into the same trap myself lately, albeit with my DS. I’ve managed to readdict myself to chicken nuggets; that’s not so bad, but lately I’ve been ordering shakes with them. At this rate, I may find myself obese again. I hope your website isn’t making you fat like Nintendo is doing to me.
– ZM
“I need to know that if push comes to shove, and there’s a serious conflict of interest between me and another partner, he’s going to do what’s best for me, not her.”
What about him doing what’s best for him?
And what was that talk about how Finnish culture treats rules? (I am married to a full-blooded Finn afterall!) Finns have situations that cause them to reexamine their promises, priorities, and choices. They have divorce. They are human just like the rest of us (even if they like to think of themselves as a “divine” culture!) The difference is that as a people, when they see that old rules aren’t working, they are not so tied to what has been that they can’t logically negotiate the rules for the future as they would like it to be. This is how they succeed in business. This is how they, as a united country, approached their national diabetes problem. This is what makes them so easy going. Yes, they value rules, but they value them as long as they are sound and actually serve a purpose. If they no longer do, they won’t automatically break them, but they will question them, renegotiate them, and rewrite them. They also have a different view of privacy then we do. And I do know some polyamorous Finns besides my husband. So her referrence to Finns isn’t in any way solid.
Overall, I think the dialog is excellent. As always, I really enjoy your writing. Bravo.
“I need to know that if push comes to shove, and there’s a serious conflict of interest between me and another partner, he’s going to do what’s best for me, not her.”
What about him doing what’s best for him?
And what was that talk about how Finnish culture treats rules? (I am married to a full-blooded Finn afterall!) Finns have situations that cause them to reexamine their promises, priorities, and choices. They have divorce. They are human just like the rest of us (even if they like to think of themselves as a “divine” culture!) The difference is that as a people, when they see that old rules aren’t working, they are not so tied to what has been that they can’t logically negotiate the rules for the future as they would like it to be. This is how they succeed in business. This is how they, as a united country, approached their national diabetes problem. This is what makes them so easy going. Yes, they value rules, but they value them as long as they are sound and actually serve a purpose. If they no longer do, they won’t automatically break them, but they will question them, renegotiate them, and rewrite them. They also have a different view of privacy then we do. And I do know some polyamorous Finns besides my husband. So her referrence to Finns isn’t in any way solid.
Overall, I think the dialog is excellent. As always, I really enjoy your writing. Bravo.
Okay, this is completely off-topic, but I’m very curious to know what you think of the DS. When I found out that Lemmings and TRON 2.0 were available on the GBA I considered getting one, but after playing around with a DS in the store, knowing that it’s backward compatible with GBA games, and finding out that there’s a homebrew scene for it, I’m considering dishing out the extra scratch for a DS instead.
Your thoughts? Currently the only specifically DS game that’s attracted my attention is the brain puzzle one (whose name escapes me, thus proving my need for it), but the extra features are compelling. Also (and this is a big deal for me), do you know if it’s compatible with original Game Boy games?
Sorry to innundate you!
I friended you because of interesting reading…. very interesting … that conversation. Much of it seems to reflect some underlying beliefs that were barely touched at regarding boundaries – control, paranoia (they might know something about me) and us/vs them. The conversation does move from that some as it goes on, but I still am not clear what the underlying beliefs were or if they shifted for the person while in the conversation.
Thanks for taking the time to put that together and share it. Definitely thought provoking.
I friended you because of interesting reading…. very interesting … that conversation. Much of it seems to reflect some underlying beliefs that were barely touched at regarding boundaries – control, paranoia (they might know something about me) and us/vs them. The conversation does move from that some as it goes on, but I still am not clear what the underlying beliefs were or if they shifted for the person while in the conversation.
Thanks for taking the time to put that together and share it. Definitely thought provoking.
Oh, it’s no problem. I’m quite fond of my DS, but it sounds like you wouldn’t be interested: Brain Age is shite, and it’s only backward-compatible with GBA games, nothing earlier (nor can it handle multiplayer functions of GBA games). Only the GBA itself and the Game Boy Player for the Gamecube are completely backward-compatible. – ZM
I’m only about half-way through, but it’s really interesting!
I’m only about half-way through, but it’s really interesting!