Spam of the day: With heat showers!

Most of the spam I get these days is in Spanish. Sometimes, it’s in English. Occasionally, it’s in Russian. Very occasionally, it’s in Arabic. And every so often, it looks like it’s in Russian that was translated into English via Google Translate.

Take, for example, this spam, which I reproduce below for your viewing pleasure unedited save for the reply email:

Subject: You I really liked

Hello Solitary heart!!!

I am a girl with beautiful name Julia, me 27 years. Dream to find the person for serious and long relations! I have interested your profile, since I seem that you search for such relations! Now I shall tell little about itself. I very cheerful and communicative, attractive girl. My growing forms 170 cm, my weight forms 57 kilograms. Much love to read the books, listen the classical music, walk on autumn wood and communicate with interesting people. If I have interested you, that anxiously waits your letter and photographies on my e-mail : m———c@yandex.ru With heat showers! Julia.

Best wishes,
Juliya

I am grateful for Juliya’s concern for the well-being of my romantic life, since truly do I search for such relations, it must be said.

I’m not quite sure, though, what “with heat showers” means. Google Translate renders this back into Russian as “С тепло души,” though of course I haven’t the foggiest notion what that might mean either.

I imagine it to be part of a lengthy blessing of travel in ancient Russian folklore, a ritual to prepare the hero for a journey of particularly perilous peril: “With this ox blood and this stone ax I bless thee, my son. Now go, and bring honor upon our clan, with heat showers.”

22 thoughts on “Spam of the day: With heat showers!

  1. i got that one too.

    me, i’ve been celibate for many years, so it seemed to me unlikely that she was responding to my search for many relations.

    i do, however, very much enjoy reading spamcomments literally, so it was a chuckle for me.

    and thanks for your work. breath of fresh air to me.

  2. i got that one too.

    me, i’ve been celibate for many years, so it seemed to me unlikely that she was responding to my search for many relations.

    i do, however, very much enjoy reading spamcomments literally, so it was a chuckle for me.

    and thanks for your work. breath of fresh air to me.

  3. Usually when I don’t understand something in Google translate (neither the translated version nor the original), I try translating it into another language I speak. In this case I took your Russian and translated it into French. The result (“avec la chaleur de l’âme”) means “with the warmth of the soul”, which sounds much nicer than heat showers, I have to say. I’m guessing it’s something like “best wishes” or “I send my love”.

    Or maybe they have soul showers in Russia. In Soviet Russia, souls warm you?

  4. Usually when I don’t understand something in Google translate (neither the translated version nor the original), I try translating it into another language I speak. In this case I took your Russian and translated it into French. The result (“avec la chaleur de l’âme”) means “with the warmth of the soul”, which sounds much nicer than heat showers, I have to say. I’m guessing it’s something like “best wishes” or “I send my love”.

    Or maybe they have soul showers in Russia. In Soviet Russia, souls warm you?

  5. The words for soul (dusha) and shower (dush) in Russian are pretty similar. And given that Russian words change endings depending on… never studied linguistics in English, so not sure about the right terminology – grammatical forms, perhaps? – some of these forms can be exactly the same.

    Hence “warmth of soul” (teplo dushi) got google-translated into “heat showers” (teplye dushi)

  6. The words for soul (dusha) and shower (dush) in Russian are pretty similar. And given that Russian words change endings depending on… never studied linguistics in English, so not sure about the right terminology – grammatical forms, perhaps? – some of these forms can be exactly the same.

    Hence “warmth of soul” (teplo dushi) got google-translated into “heat showers” (teplye dushi)

  7. Thanks but me too 🙂
    It’d be embarrassing not to get it right… Although after 13+ years here, with school, work, and all personal&romantic relationships in English…. But then, judging by your re-posted poems, you know how it feels even better than me. I was 17 when I left for good.

  8. Ahh, fair point! Shouldn’t assume about folks on the interwebs.

    But yuss, I’ve managed to keep my Russian a bit better than most folks who arrived at a young age, but it’s still kinda wonky.

  9. FYI, there is no Perra street in Montreal. The name of the person and the company also sound fake. I’m guessing there is no way to know where exactly it comes from… unless the IP address gives some clue?

    Bonjour!

  10. FYI, there is no Perra street in Montreal. The name of the person and the company also sound fake. I’m guessing there is no way to know where exactly it comes from… unless the IP address gives some clue?

    Bonjour!

  11. By coincidence, I was clearing out my spam today and I noticed exactly the same message, sent on March 17th.

    I love how she spells her own name two different ways.

  12. By coincidence, I was clearing out my spam today and I noticed exactly the same message, sent on March 17th.

    I love how she spells her own name two different ways.

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