Note: I’ve started posting most of my writings about sex, culture, and society over to the Promiscuity Keepers Web site. The most recent post is an essay about why I, as a cisgendered straight man, care about the political assault on women’s rights and GLBT rights. Here’s a teaser:
Before I get started, though, let me say this: I am a white, cisgendered heterosexual man. That puts me in a uniquely privileged position; since I will never be pregnant, the assault on women’s right to choose doesn’t affect me directly. Since I am straight, the assault on the rights of gays and lesbians doesn’t affect me directly. Since I am a man, I am almost never the target of slut-shaming. I am, in other words, not the target of the campaign against women and gays that’s playing out on the airwaves and in the ballot boxes all over the United States right now.
But in a way, that’s kind of the point, because even though I am not the target of the attacks on women and gays, they still very much affect me. The thing is, these are not assaults on women’s rights or gay and lesbian rights; they are assaults on human rights. I am not gay and I am not a woman, but I am a human being. It would be a mistake for me to think that these things don’t affect me directly.
Let’s look at contraception. The debate over whether or not women should have easy access to contraception has turned into one of the defining issues in the current political discussion. Last October, presidential candidate Rick Santorum said “One of the things I will talk about, that no president has talked about before, is I think the dangers of contraception in this country. Many of the Christian faith have said, well, that’s OK; contraception is OK. It’s not OK. It’s a license to do things in a sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be.” …
Want to see more? Read the whole post here!
Hey, heads-up: Your first link is misspelled as “pormiscuitykeepers”
Fixed now, thanks!
Hey, heads-up: Your first link is misspelled as “pormiscuitykeepers”
Fixed now, thanks!
completely agreed. i think you nailed it — it’s a HUMAN right. when people come up to me and ask me what my race is, i reply “human” because at the core, that’s who i am. when it comes to “gay marriage” it kinda bothers me to call it a gay marriage, since it’s really a marriage at it’s heart.
completely agreed. i think you nailed it — it’s a HUMAN right. when people come up to me and ask me what my race is, i reply “human” because at the core, that’s who i am. when it comes to “gay marriage” it kinda bothers me to call it a gay marriage, since it’s really a marriage at it’s heart.
Yeah, whatever affects ‘her’ affects me. Directly. Being het and male and caucasian, I don’t think I am not affected. If the republicans ‘get’ the gays, they’ll be after the kinky/poly next. But even more…if ‘her’ life is worse, mine is by definition worse. Because…what makes her happy and safe and secure is…my job, but…more like my profession.
K.
Yeah, whatever affects ‘her’ affects me. Directly. Being het and male and caucasian, I don’t think I am not affected. If the republicans ‘get’ the gays, they’ll be after the kinky/poly next. But even more…if ‘her’ life is worse, mine is by definition worse. Because…what makes her happy and safe and secure is…my job, but…more like my profession.
K.
Thank you so much for writing this. Someone recently asked me, “Why aren’t more men getting upset about this? Men don’t want sex always leading to babies any more than women do!” And yet, in my experience, both men and women tend to view contraception as a “women’s issue.” Even as an ardently pro-sex feminist, sometimes I find myself subconsciously feeling like I’m being a “burden” when I ask my partners to share responsibility for birth control. You just hear so many messages throughout life putting all the burden/blame on the woman. “She should have kept her legs closed,” etc. There is this notion that men can’t be expected to control their sexual urges, that it’s up to women to say no, to be “good girls,” to not “get in trouble.”
To me, it’s utterly critical to hear men speaking up against these things. It’s the only way those messages will stop being pervasive and subconsciously accepted. So again, thanks.
Thank you so much for writing this. Someone recently asked me, “Why aren’t more men getting upset about this? Men don’t want sex always leading to babies any more than women do!” And yet, in my experience, both men and women tend to view contraception as a “women’s issue.” Even as an ardently pro-sex feminist, sometimes I find myself subconsciously feeling like I’m being a “burden” when I ask my partners to share responsibility for birth control. You just hear so many messages throughout life putting all the burden/blame on the woman. “She should have kept her legs closed,” etc. There is this notion that men can’t be expected to control their sexual urges, that it’s up to women to say no, to be “good girls,” to not “get in trouble.”
To me, it’s utterly critical to hear men speaking up against these things. It’s the only way those messages will stop being pervasive and subconsciously accepted. So again, thanks.
It seems to me that now having defined what you mean by “courage,” you may also need to define what you mean by “reward.” (Possibly also “life.”) 🙂
It seems to me that now having defined what you mean by “courage,” you may also need to define what you mean by “reward.” (Possibly also “life.”) 🙂
franklin’s words resonate strongly to me. to me, courage is living up to my ideals and not down to my fears.
and that in itself *is* a reward. regardless of whether doing so looks and feels like i thought it would; regardless of whether an external “reward” also happens. it’s all about me, and whether i’m living up to be the girl i want to be, or at least always moving in that direction.
franklin’s words resonate strongly to me. to me, courage is living up to my ideals and not down to my fears.
and that in itself *is* a reward. regardless of whether doing so looks and feels like i thought it would; regardless of whether an external “reward” also happens. it’s all about me, and whether i’m living up to be the girl i want to be, or at least always moving in that direction.