Of Puppies, Favorites, and Why I Suck at Monogamy

A couple of nights ago, zaiah and I were feeding puppies.

This is something we do every night. And every afternoon. And every morning. And…well, pretty much all the time, really. They hunger, you see. They have appetites, and their appetites must be sated, else our sanity will be destroyed, its shattered slivers sucked into the maw of the great dark beyond.

On this particular evening, she was making fun of me. Every time I took a puppy into my lap, I said, “You know, I think this one might be my favorite.” And meant it.

We’ve been calling them by the color of their collar. (We debated naming them after computer programming languages–“Here, Java! C’mere, Perl! Good boy, Python!”) but zaiah made the point that we don’t want to give them names which might unduly influence whoever adopts them.

And they are all my favorite puppy.


Purple is absolutely my favorite of the whole bunch of them. She is lovely; we’ve informally started referring to her as “sweet face,” because she has such a nice face. She’s affectionate and loving, nuzzling into you when you hold her. She gazes soulfully into your eyes when you feed her. For the first couple of weeks, she would sing herself to sleep after she ate.

My real favorite, though, is Blue. He’s the largest of the bunch, a gentle giant who is gregarious and outgoing. He responds strongly to people, coming over with his tail wagging whenever anyone walks near. He’s filled with energy and enthusiasm, and joy just radiates out of him.

But my favorite out of all of them would have to be Yellow. He is by far the most playful of the bunch. He enjoys rolling the ball around his pen, which is incredibly cute, and he likes playing with his imaginary friend, which is even more cute. He’s smart and companionable and loves wrestling with people.

When it comes to my favorite puppy of the litter, though, that would have to be Pink. She’s quiet and sweet-tempered, a cuddly and affectionate little girl who loves reaching up to kiss your nose. She is absolutely heart-melting in her trusting devotion to the people around her.

Though, to be honest, I think my favorite might be Green. He’s smart, strong-willed, and opinionated. He bounds around the pen wrestling with his brothers and sisters, and any human who will show him attention–“C’mon! I can take you! Let’s go! Arooorooroo! Isn’t this FUN?”

My favorite puppy would doubtless be Red. She is mercurial, one minute playful and the next minute snuggly. She also loves to gaze into your eyes while she eats, and her favorite thing in the world is to fall asleep with her head on your arm. She’s a master of the game “I’ve Got Your Nose,” which she plays with Blue, Green, Yellow, and any person who gets close enough.

And finally, I’ve saved my favorite puppy for last. Orange is sweet-tempered and loving; she bonds easily with people, to the point that she often prefers scritches and snuggles to food. Ever since the day she was born, one of her favoritest of all things is to snuggle into the crook of your neck and fall asleep there, making contented little noises the whole time.

This is, you see, why I’m rubbish at monogamy. Pick just one? Really? When there is a whole world out there, full of joy and love and life? Why would someone want to do that?

14 thoughts on “Of Puppies, Favorites, and Why I Suck at Monogamy

  1. Who would ever have adopted poor Fortran?! 🙂

    Sometimes.. it is especially nice.. after they settle down a little.. from their curly coated frenzy for moar foodz.. and then they start to doze.. scattered about in their play yard.. constructing together a Disarray of Floor Sausages with great care and precision.. and there are no more puppies in my lap.. and there are no more puppies in his lap.. and turning to lay my head against his chest to gaze on the exuberantly sleeping pups.. and he scritches behind my ear and says ‘you’re my favorite..’ and it inspires a shiver of delight.. with an upwelling of joy and glee.. to be seen and heard and adored.. and to know that he means it comprehensively.. and he means it earnestly.. and that the love in his lap or in his arms will be as thorough and complete an affection for me the next time.. as I know it will be for any other he also chooses to share a moment with.. and that I can snuggle into a satisfied peep within my own life.. and within the puppy pile of my choosing.. and (when it is time, when I ask for it, when it is a windy day, when there are fits of giggles, when in a loud crowd of laughing people, when there are dishes to be washed, when the mirror is fogged with steam from the shower, when we are in line at the grocers, when the sex toys are carefully laid out for use, when I am sleeping, when we are apart, when my mood is churlish and bitter, when there needs to be more salt, when … ) I will feel just as cherished, again.

  2. Who would ever have adopted poor Fortran?! 🙂

    Sometimes.. it is especially nice.. after they settle down a little.. from their curly coated frenzy for moar foodz.. and then they start to doze.. scattered about in their play yard.. constructing together a Disarray of Floor Sausages with great care and precision.. and there are no more puppies in my lap.. and there are no more puppies in his lap.. and turning to lay my head against his chest to gaze on the exuberantly sleeping pups.. and he scritches behind my ear and says ‘you’re my favorite..’ and it inspires a shiver of delight.. with an upwelling of joy and glee.. to be seen and heard and adored.. and to know that he means it comprehensively.. and he means it earnestly.. and that the love in his lap or in his arms will be as thorough and complete an affection for me the next time.. as I know it will be for any other he also chooses to share a moment with.. and that I can snuggle into a satisfied peep within my own life.. and within the puppy pile of my choosing.. and (when it is time, when I ask for it, when it is a windy day, when there are fits of giggles, when in a loud crowd of laughing people, when there are dishes to be washed, when the mirror is fogged with steam from the shower, when we are in line at the grocers, when the sex toys are carefully laid out for use, when I am sleeping, when we are apart, when my mood is churlish and bitter, when there needs to be more salt, when … ) I will feel just as cherished, again.

  3. I love this post.

    It makes me think of the fact that my son has a stuffed bunny that goes everywhere with him. He has many stuffed animals, but bunny is The One. His best friend had a teddy bear, Ted, that was the favorite, and another friend had “Mr. Bear.”

    When I was a girl, I had a lot of stuffed animals, but I never had a favorite. I loved them all, and I never wanted any of them to feel left out, so I actually used to write up a rotation for which one would sleep with me each night, to make sure I was being fair and that no one got more “sleeping with me” time than anyone else.

    There are things I should have realized about myself a lot sooner than I did…

  4. I love this post.

    It makes me think of the fact that my son has a stuffed bunny that goes everywhere with him. He has many stuffed animals, but bunny is The One. His best friend had a teddy bear, Ted, that was the favorite, and another friend had “Mr. Bear.”

    When I was a girl, I had a lot of stuffed animals, but I never had a favorite. I loved them all, and I never wanted any of them to feel left out, so I actually used to write up a rotation for which one would sleep with me each night, to make sure I was being fair and that no one got more “sleeping with me” time than anyone else.

    There are things I should have realized about myself a lot sooner than I did…

  5. Cops call this closing ranks the “Thin Blue Line.” What would the fetish community’s version be… the Thin Red Rope? Not quite as catchy, sadly.

  6. Cops call this closing ranks the “Thin Blue Line.” What would the fetish community’s version be… the Thin Red Rope? Not quite as catchy, sadly.

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