The Mathematics of Sex Toys, Revisited

Quite some time ago, I wrote a post about the Most Annoying Sex Toy Ever, a hypothetical wearable vibrator that would run in an irregular pattern that the wearer could never get used to, but which also would not get the wearer off.

Lately I’ve been playing with an Arduino programmable board, and I’ve come one step closer to achieving that goal! This is a prototype of an annoying vibrator that’s intended to frustrate the user but not get the user off. I’ll post more about it later, but for now here’s a teaser.

Interestingly, someone else who’s read my previous post has written an Arduino program to do sine wave mixing the way I talked about in my earlier post, though the Arduino software I’ve written works a bit differently. The software I’ve written delays for a random time between 15 seconds and a minute and a half, then randomly chooses a pattern to run the vibe in. Each pattern has random variability baked into it, so whoever is wearing it can’t identify the pattern when it starts.

Once the prototype is tested and made more portable (it doesn’t have to be tethered to the laptop to work, just to upload the software to the Arduino board), I’ll probably be posting schematics and software. Stay tuned!

I really, really love being me.

14 thoughts on “The Mathematics of Sex Toys, Revisited

  1. My current project is a wireless egg vibrator with computer/internet interface allowing me to turn my wife the vibrator on from a web page using my smart phones web browser.

  2. My current project is a wireless egg vibrator with computer/internet interface allowing me to turn my wife the vibrator on from a web page using my smart phones web browser.

  3. I forget the specifics of it, but in Outliers, Gladwell discussed why the Chinese numerical makes it easier to learn basic math, giving Chinese children an advantage in learning it. It’s sort of the same kind of thing.

  4. I forget the specifics of it, but in Outliers, Gladwell discussed why the Chinese numerical makes it easier to learn basic math, giving Chinese children an advantage in learning it. It’s sort of the same kind of thing.

  5. I’d buy it!

    Clever stuff!

    I’ve been reading up on programmable vibrators but they are few and far between, the “Je Joue” is semi-programmable but it’s a gimmicky design and very expensive, the only other serious attempt at a programmable vibrator I’ve seen is the Drmn Trance V2 which is based on the old Rez vibrator (PlayStation accessory) but I’m not sure the guy who makes them sells them anymore.

    I wish I knew how to build one of those things but I wouldn’t have the patience and I don’t have a clue about electronics.

    Ninja_Butler

    • Re: I’d buy it!

      I think there’s a market for a well-designed programmable vibrator. If I knew how to go about finding venture capital, it’s definitely something I’d pursue. last time I tried making something like this for sale, though, I lost a ton of money.

  6. I’d buy it!

    Clever stuff!

    I’ve been reading up on programmable vibrators but they are few and far between, the “Je Joue” is semi-programmable but it’s a gimmicky design and very expensive, the only other serious attempt at a programmable vibrator I’ve seen is the Drmn Trance V2 which is based on the old Rez vibrator (PlayStation accessory) but I’m not sure the guy who makes them sells them anymore.

    I wish I knew how to build one of those things but I wouldn’t have the patience and I don’t have a clue about electronics.

    Ninja_Butler

  7. Re: I’d buy it!

    I think there’s a market for a well-designed programmable vibrator. If I knew how to go about finding venture capital, it’s definitely something I’d pursue. last time I tried making something like this for sale, though, I lost a ton of money.

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