Spam poetry

“Harry potter loves hottie lover, who loves mighty shocker poker.”

Spam for yet another penis pill site (are there really people in the world who honestly believe that taking a pill can make one’s penis bigger? For real?), but the poetry is quite nice.

Come, let me introduce you to my mighty shocker poker!

34 thoughts on “Spam poetry

  1. having a small penis and no imagination is tragic šŸ™ It’s kinda like not fitting in as a woman with the images on cosmo covers, i think. The only person seriously disturbed by this is the person themselves because they have a warped perception of what they SHOULD be. Damn media!

    I kinda put those penis pill in the same box in my head as most past diet pills (but some i guess these days work?). Even if they don’t work, you hope they will and it doesn’t hurt to try, right?! And when you’re on them you’ll FEEL like they’re working, right? fake temporary confidence pills!

    and I saw Harry Potter’s penis on that equestrian poster! I want to be his hottie lover so he’ll poke me with his mighty shocker poker!

      • yes, however for different reasons I think.

        Small penis, no imagination = society says you got no hope except for pills/enlarger etc

        Medium penis, no imagination = society says you’re not good enough! Keep trying!

        Big penis, no imagination = no motivation to get creative because society says you’re a porn star.

        (parallel this to my point about cosmo girls)

    • Die pills at least have some theoretical basis on which they might work; they’re typically stimulants, appetite suppressants, or both.

      Pills to make your penis grow have no basis in reality whatsoever. They’re pure fantasy; there’s no biological basis on which it’s even possible for them to work.

      Harry Potter? Equestrian poster? I had no idea what you were talking about, so I consulted the Oracle at Google. Aaaaigh! My eyes! My eyes!

  2. having a small penis and no imagination is tragic šŸ™ It’s kinda like not fitting in as a woman with the images on cosmo covers, i think. The only person seriously disturbed by this is the person themselves because they have a warped perception of what they SHOULD be. Damn media!

    I kinda put those penis pill in the same box in my head as most past diet pills (but some i guess these days work?). Even if they don’t work, you hope they will and it doesn’t hurt to try, right?! And when you’re on them you’ll FEEL like they’re working, right? fake temporary confidence pills!

    and I saw Harry Potter’s penis on that equestrian poster! I want to be his hottie lover so he’ll poke me with his mighty shocker poker!

    • I simply tell them that my penis is any size, shape and color I want to make it. And it’s probably bigger than theirs is. Plus, I can take mine off and put it in my drawer for safekeeping!

      OK, I don’t tell the ad people that – they’re just bots, but it amuses me to think this anyway.

  3. It’s like my fwb said: it’s how I’d angle you that would make all the difference.

    You mean you DON’T believe Bob in those Enzyte commercials?! They’ve even started to include terms like “chubby” in their ads.

    Seeing Harry Potter’s penis would permanently traumatize me but it makes me wonder why my spammers can’t write me poetry.

    • I saw some of those Enzyte commercials for the first time just recently, and I was all like “Wow. There are enough gullible fools out there to make this a pying proposition? I’m in the wrong damn business!”

  4. It’s like my fwb said: it’s how I’d angle you that would make all the difference.

    You mean you DON’T believe Bob in those Enzyte commercials?! They’ve even started to include terms like “chubby” in their ads.

    Seeing Harry Potter’s penis would permanently traumatize me but it makes me wonder why my spammers can’t write me poetry.

  5. yes, however for different reasons I think.

    Small penis, no imagination = society says you got no hope except for pills/enlarger etc

    Medium penis, no imagination = society says you’re not good enough! Keep trying!

    Big penis, no imagination = no motivation to get creative because society says you’re a porn star.

    (parallel this to my point about cosmo girls)

    • Cattle prod? Dear God, that makes the eyes water.

      I’m told that a PENS unit with an electrified dildo is quite the thing, though. For some women, apparently it allows an orgasm that lasts for as long as the gadget is turned on.

  6. I simply tell them that my penis is any size, shape and color I want to make it. And it’s probably bigger than theirs is. Plus, I can take mine off and put it in my drawer for safekeeping!

    OK, I don’t tell the ad people that – they’re just bots, but it amuses me to think this anyway.

  7. My favorite spam title recently is “Is your left hand ready?” ready for what? Is that the “dirty” hand? In india I think the left hand is considered the dirty hand. Well anyway, it seemed just lacivious enough for me who has a dirty dirty mind.

      • yes, could very well be. I know in some parts of the middle east, showing someone the bottom of your foot is an insult. Sometimes we can be surprised what sorts of non verbal signs translate into something dirty in another culture.

  8. My favorite spam title recently is “Is your left hand ready?” ready for what? Is that the “dirty” hand? In india I think the left hand is considered the dirty hand. Well anyway, it seemed just lacivious enough for me who has a dirty dirty mind.

  9. Die pills at least have some theoretical basis on which they might work; they’re typically stimulants, appetite suppressants, or both.

    Pills to make your penis grow have no basis in reality whatsoever. They’re pure fantasy; there’s no biological basis on which it’s even possible for them to work.

    Harry Potter? Equestrian poster? I had no idea what you were talking about, so I consulted the Oracle at Google. Aaaaigh! My eyes! My eyes!

  10. I saw some of those Enzyte commercials for the first time just recently, and I was all like “Wow. There are enough gullible fools out there to make this a pying proposition? I’m in the wrong damn business!”

  11. Cattle prod? Dear God, that makes the eyes water.

    I’m told that a PENS unit with an electrified dildo is quite the thing, though. For some women, apparently it allows an orgasm that lasts for as long as the gadget is turned on.

  12. yes, could very well be. I know in some parts of the middle east, showing someone the bottom of your foot is an insult. Sometimes we can be surprised what sorts of non verbal signs translate into something dirty in another culture.

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